The Destined Paths We Take
by Cat Alex
Summary: An Advent Children story centering on an OC who gets pulled into the events of the Silver Haired Men and cannot escape no matter how hard she tries. Loz x OC
1. The Thrower

**The Destined Paths We Take**

**By Cat Alex**

**P a r t O n e: Past Mistakes**

**Chapter One: The Thrower**

I was a thrower. I had perfect accuracy, speed and the strength to hurl sharp objects at people. My largest gift that aided my second gift was the aptitude for mathematics and the calculation of angles. I had excellent estimation skills when it came to angles, a talent that fuelled my second gift of being able to kill a monster with deadly accuracy – one blow to the throat with a razorblade.

And I loved it. Well, I didn't love killing like that, but I loved the idea of having this special talent no-one else I knew had. I loved the fact that I had this power to defend myself at a whim, so I was safe on the streets of Midgar from any fools that dared cross my path. Midgar isn't the safest place to live. Factionalism had grown considerably since the toppling of Shinra as the government, tons of seedy groups claiming they had the right to power. President Reeve did he best in the face of adversity, but he was too kind-hearted for government; he was not nearly harsh enough on these gangs.

However, where there are few to turn to for answers and people shouting their opinion, claiming them as answers, people will always look to these factions. I myself have on occasion visited the new group and vaguely listened to their demands, though rarely have given them further thought, instead returning to my life as a waitress in the local bar near where I lived called The Neola. All of Midgar had been obliterated, leaving the newly installed President Reeve to start rebuilding essentially from scratch. He had done a pretty good job too, considering what a mess this place had ended up. I live in the area that used to be the borders of sectors one and two, but barely any part of Midgar mirrors the pre-Meteor one; for a start it was all open air. We now had the beauty of the stars and the sky and the glorious sun.

"Neriah! I need some help over here," my friend and co-worker Beliqua called to me and I moved from behind the near enough empty bar to where Beliqua was trying to heft a big lug, who was totally drunk beyond belief, out of the bar. With a sigh, I pushed several messy strands of my jaw length brown hair behind an ear, grabbed the mans legs and dragged him out of the bar onto the street.

"Sorry," Beliqua told the incoherent man, "company policy."

And with that, we went back into The Neola and collapsed onto a coupled of seats behind the bar. Beliqua looked at me, her dark blue eyes closing as she yawned, covering her wide full mouth with a hand and I felt the need to yawn too, the boredom of the day sending me into a stupor.

"Gang speech tonight," Beliqua informed me listless, propping her feet onto a shelf under the counter as she glanced at the clock. My heart sank when I followed her gaze to find it was only four o'clock and groaned. We still had two hours of our shift to go and it was looking bleak. Most people were working at this time and the only customers we got were drunks who didn't have jobs and wasted their savings on alcohol, or retired men seeking the odd drink, but these were even rarer because with all the disaster that befell us in Midgar caused a massive economic upheaval that left most in poverty. These last two years everyone has been contributing to the rebuilding of our city; not even the old can have their retirement. Some of the richer ones who had been above the plate had left enough savings to keep a better lifestyle, but why would they bother coming into The Neola?

Gang speech. It's an okay way to pass an evening if there's nothing better to do. Entertainment isn't exactly scare, the cinema is still about but it's so expensive. I wanted to see the new film, a sequel to Loveless, called Faithless about the struggles of a heroine with her lover, but I haven't got the cash. With all the rebuilding, few of us have the money to have the luxury to see a film. Before the disaster, I got to see Loveless. It's when I had cash, when I was still learning to be a thrower at the local weapons institution. They had taught all kinds of people, as long as they had the talent. I got in on a scholarship, which was complete chance that I even got to take. I was scared, but I knew I had a good throwing arm. Makes me laugh to think back two years when I was a pretty un-knowledgeable twenty year old when it came to street life. I had grown up in the slums that were what you could call middle class. Not quite above the plate, but still a lot of the kids I had known acted as if they did the way they treated other slum kids.

So, my mom sent me along to the Shinra Weapons Academy, or SWA, near Shinra headquarters itself. I took a test and I was accepted with a load of quiet conversation between instructors that sent shivers down my spine. The academy had trained people like Rufus and the Turks, I had heard. I knew Rufus had because he was still in the academy when I first joined. He took classes in accuracy with that shotgun of his and rarely spoke to anyone, instead sliding those creepy blue eyes to the few people in our class as we worked, as if he wanted to put us off. I hated the academy, but it did make me what I am today. Well, not streetwise; that came from Meteor and the fall of Midgar. No, it taught me to be dangerous; it gave me the persona I can use to defend myself wielding whatever small sharp objects I could throw that came to my hand.

I should be quiet and stop talking about myself. The academy wasn't that interesting anyway. All I did was learn to be deadly and then graduated just when the Meteor hit and ruined millions of lives, mine included. With my parent's dead, house demolished, I had to become streetwise and pick up a new life. That's when I helped rebuild and managed to pick up a job in The Neola. I already made friends with Beliqua when we were put together in rebuilding housing in the demolished sectors that don't even exist anymore.

And so here I am, working in a bar with what I could say was easily my best friend, serving up drinks to those who want to drink their lives away during the day instead of doing a hard days work and now I was going to a gang speech. Gang speeches can be so boring if it's the wrong kind of gang; those put together by a bunch of thugs who can't string two words together between them.

The time passed slowly, but surely, and eventually Beliqua and I got away. Beliqua smiled as I hauled in a massive sigh of relief, as well as a breath of reasonable fresh air, and we strolled through the busy streets. The sun was beginning to set and I wanted to just get to my poky home and catch a few hours of sleep before getting ready for this gang speech.

"Today can be rated as 'sucked' today. I hate it when we have to kick customers out," Beliqua sighed heavily, her black locks swinging sadly around her head. I put an arm around her shoulder as we were bumped into by various people hurrying to their desired locations.

"We shouldn't worry about kicking customers out. It's their fault for allowing themselves to become so inebriated in the first place. You were just doing your job. Oh man, today really was pretty terrible," I sighed and shrugged, releasing some tension in my shoulders and back. Beliqua reached her small house, barely big enough for one person just like mine and gave a tired wave.

"Catch up on some sleep; you look tired. I am so I'm fresh for the speech. It starts around eight thirty, so you want me to call by at quarter past?" she asked me, rubbing her face resignedly and I gave a smile.

"I'll try to sleep, but I don't know if I'll manage it though. Quarter past if fine, see you later Bel," I replied and she gave half-hearted wave before retreating into her house, shutting the small grey door. This whole city looked all grey sometimes. Except at night, when all the clubs open and then it's all colourful lights and noise, laughing, drinking and relaxing. It's kind of cool, but the way I was brought up meant that I missed out on a lot of that stuff and now I have desire to start. Milling in a crowd of drunken dancing teenagers isn't what I would call the best way to spend a night. Perhaps I have become jaded at the age of only twenty-two, but really what can you expect when I lived through the Meteor? Some people act like it never happened, that the world hadn't been on the brink of ending two years ago and I always wondered what the hell was going on in their heads. How can people just let that slide away and live a life of obscurity, allowing themselves to just rebuild the city and settle down once more? I intend to save enough money to travel and look around the world before it's gone for good.

These thoughts would leave me as I trundled down the street, my head looking more at where my feet were going. I knew exactly where I was because of the hundreds of times I had walked down this street home. Those thoughts made me uncomfortable thinking them. I didn't think I was ever going to eave this city with the amount of money I was making, and I always turned to the idea of becoming a mercenary and using the skills I learnt at the SWA to make some cash, but I didn't like the idea of killing people, or stealing or whatever for money. I would end up messed up in the head if I wasn't careful. But would it be worth it, being able to travel the world and see such sights for a few potentially immoral actions? No, I knew in my heart I couldn't do that and live with the tarnish that would build with time. I would fight in self defence and nothing more.

I hastily turned into my street, my eyes barely registering the numerous identical grey houses the size of matchboxes. I abruptly stopped at one and fished out my keys from a trouser pocket. It was my house. There was no noticeable difference between my house and any other, but I always knew which was mine when I came to it. I think I subconsciously count how many paces I take, I have no idea. I just know.

I was still thinking too much. Why did I even go to gang speeches when I could sit at home and argue with myself all evening? I shut the door and shuffled over to my small sofa, collapsing into it so my legs hung over side. With a heavy sigh, I curled up, and fell asleep almost immediately.

When I finally woke up again I could barely see my way to the standing light. Yawning and noticing the red neon of my electric clock telling me I had half an hour before Beliqua came by, I gracefully rolled off the sofa to my feet and switched on the light.

Blinking owlishly, I grumbled to myself and made my way across my five meter square lounge and into the kitchen. My stomach had that pain from not and into the kitchen. My stomach had that pain from not eating for several hours and I pulled out the loaf of bread from a cupboard. I quickly made a sandwich and stuffed my face before moving back into the lounge. Opposite the front door were a small flight of stairs up to the second floor where my bedroom and bathroom were. Rejuvenated by the sleep and sandwich, I turned into a whirlwind and had a vigorous shower. Well, most showers I had were vigorous, otherwise the tepid water would run out and it was likely that I'd freeze to the floor.

So, I dried off and made my way into my bedroom to survey my wardrobe. Usually I dressed a little on the dangerous side, but only to project an aura of danger if people go near me. I like showing that image because it fits with the training I got at the SWA and I can behave that way if I'm pushed. But I don't like using that façade too often, though I like to think of myself as strong. My wardrobe reflects this; a mixture of tight leather garments and strict black clothes. I couldn't decide which I preferred; strict uniform or more outgoing clothing.

One thing: you have to dress dangerously for gang speeches. It's a credibility thing, I think, that developed into a kind of way to be. If you look weak during gang speeches, there was the potential for people to start picking at you, accuse you of being a hanger-on and not a free thinker. The free thinkers are the worst; they'll attack on anyone who even nods their head a little too vigorously. Myself and Beliqua are neither free thinkers nor hangers-on; we're only there for the entertainment, which goes to show how boring Midgar is when you're poor. It had become somewhat of a tradition to attend for Beliqua and I that we had adhered to for many months; so many that we've lost count.

So I pulled on my leather trousers and popped on a crimson halter neck top. Peering into my medium sized mirror, I gave my jaw length hair a quick comb just before I heard Beliqua bang on my door. I grabbed some lipstick the same shade as my top and applied it before nearly breaking my neck running down the stairs. I opened the door and Beliqua smiled in the shadows, dressed as I was so we didn't attract attention. She wore similar black leather trousers, but her top was midnight blue and that showed her midriff. It shone like silk. I motioned for her to come in and she stepped over the threshold and sat on the sofa, swinging her legs as if she was nervous. We both had good reason to be. Violence wasn't uncommon later in the gang speeches if a large proportion of the people didn't believe in them. Maybe people wonder why we even go, but when you have nothing to believe in, sometimes you'll go to things that are a little radical. At least you have something to listen to. For us, it's mostly entertainment, but a little part of me can't help but wonder what would happen should these people get what they want. Power was what most of them wanted; power to shape Midgar like they wanted, to change it into a vision that would dominate the Planet once more. One thing about the new Midgar that was being shoved together using the pieces of the old was that it was faceless. Faceless little grey houses and plain grey larger buildings. The new Midgar had no soul. When I thought about it sometimes, the way Midgar was being rebuilt it was like the soul Midgar used to possess. Its soul was dark and greedy like the people who ran it and now it felt like the new Midgar's soul was being put together from pieces of the old one. And that worries me because most of the people here now hold such a disregard for what had happened; they just want to get on with their lives.

I was just nervous about the gang speech. Violence can break out if people get rowdy for whatever reason. There can be squabbling amongst the listeners if some darker characters come along to stir up trouble. Preparation is the key. Beliqua didn't have the training I had – she was just a regular citizen who happened to befriend a, well… weirdo like me. I don't fit in anywhere. But I can protect her, my best friend, with the weapon I've trained with. I headed to the kitchen and opened a draw filled with every kind of handheld sharp objects I could get my hands on whenever I went. Piles of wreckage still lay about where certain sectors hadn't been rebuilt yet and you could pick up all kinds of things. Small pieces of metal that could be thrown were some of the things that lay about.

"Jacket," Beliqua said standing in the doorway with my black jacket in her hands. I smiled and took it, swiftly shirking it on and carefully placing some razorblades and a few shards of metal in the pockets. At least we're safer with me there. I don't know what Beliqua would do without me.

"Ready. Let's go," I told her and with that we stalked into the night.

* * *

Three silver haired men sat in the hollow wreckage of a building. It was where the gangs made their speeches and they were in preparation. The leader of them appeared to be the youngest and the most troubled, his teenager body striding back and forth irritably. His hair just overshot his jaw and he kept gripping his hands into fists and then relaxing them again, which appeared to be an unnoticed habit of his. The two other silver haired men seemed far less perturbed. The eldest stood still, his back resting against the slightly crumbling concrete walls, his arms crossed and head tipped up so he stared with blue-green eyes that held slits for pupils within at the ceiling. He was the heaviest muscled man out of the three and his left arm was adorned with a metal arm guard of some kind that bore two threatening prongs. The other silver haired man was by far the most delicate looking; his features androgynous and framed with long silver hair and the same eyes as the other two. He looked thoughtful; his head tipped slightly to one side, and sat on an unidentifiable piece of wreckage that reached waist height. 

"Loz," the teenager suddenly said, his back to the two, and the eldest man straightened from his leaning against the wall. Loz had his hair different from the other two; short so his silver hair swept back. He seemed the most unconcerned of the three.

"Yeah, Kadaj?" he replied and the teenager called Kadaj whirled around, turning on his heel to stare levelly at Loz. The third nameless man remained where he was, not even paying attention to what was going on. Kadaj frowned slightly as he caught sight of the long haired man staring into space and opened his mouth.

"Yazoo," he said and the long haired man blinked and finally turned his attention to Kadaj. Even paying attention, he still had the remnants of dreaminess on his face.

"Yes? Do you think our plan shall be successful?" the man called Yazoo suddenly replied in a slightly lilting voice of an untraceably faint accent, pausing afterwards almost as if he were surprised he had asked questions, then focused his cool gaze back on Kadaj, briefly flicking his eyes to Loz. Loz hadn't moved except to shift his weight from one leg to the other, clearly becoming bored.

"I think it will. We will be successful and Mother will be happy. Just remember to keep a lookout. For the strongest, Mother says," Kadaj informed the two with a small smile that played on his lips. Loz grunted and gave a careless nod before returning to his spot and Yazoo gave an absent-minded nod before returning to his thoughts.

Kadaj began to pace once more, his steps impatient and sharp on top of the debris.

The plan was afoot at last. Mother's will would be done.

In the darkness outside, people began to gather. Tonight was the gang speech.


	2. Gang Speech

AN: Sorry about taking so long to update, but I got really stuck on finishing this chapter. But all is well now and chapter three is complete and four almost complete. Hope you guys like it!

Oh yeah, my lovely reviewers!

Hollowed Shame: Thank you! I really enjoyed Reflections of the Past. By the third chapter, the whole premise of this story will be revealed. I won't hold out ages for chapter three though to make up for my tardy second chapter.

Kadaj: Once again, thanks for taking an interest! Three brothers and a general – lol. I was highly amused! I do my best when it comes to making my writing flow. Can't in a history essay, but by God I can in fiction!

Asmodean: Hey bro. Thanks for the support. Much appreciated.

**Chapter Two: Gang Speech**

The two of us walked the night streets as if we owned them, acting casual and unconcerned. The trick was to behave like you could handle yourself. If you can do that, people don't want to cause trouble with you, obviously. I had on my dangerous expression, the one that makes my eyes look intense. Beliqua had her expression that looks more disdainful than dangerous, but had an air of 'don't mess with me' within it. It didn't matter really because if trouble came our way, I was pretty sure I could see it off. The bladed items within my pocket were our insurance of safety.

We strutted down the streets, a familiar path through a couple of the new Midgar's 'districts' rather than sectors. The districts weren't laid out like the old sectors. It had a far more… natural feeling about it, though nothing of Midgar is natural. Nothing I have ever seen. And like I have previously thought; Midgar may not be able to climb up out of the ruins of the old, its soul unchangeable.

Beliqua stayed close by despite having the air that she didn't need anybody. We turned a few corners past the more night-friendly district where several clusters of bars, nightclubs and more lowlife entertainment brought many of the younger city dwellers. I personally wasn't a fan of it, but Beliqua sometimes hung out there on a weekend. It tended to be the place to be, but not my place. It wasn't in the centre of the city, but skewered off to the side and sat on the border where sectors two and three were. I think it would have insinuated itself into the centre, except the Meteor memorial is there; a massive circle that is usually milling with various people for various reasons. Some come from other towns or countries to see the monument that was built to remind us of what happened, others from the city itself come to remember the people lost two years ago. Meteor is still a very fresh memory in most people's minds, though the massive amount of work put into rebuilding the city has helped diminish it and the pain. But the centre is a nice place and is so open compared to the surrounding area packed with all kinds of buildings and construction. I rarely visit it due to too many people occupying the space during the day. At night, usually some kind of entertainment gets held there, like a concert. It's often free at the liberty of President Reeve determined to bring people together, though I must admit, it does create a sense of… unity.

Another few streets covered and we were in the newest district, still in the process of being built. Much of it was still wreckage and it suited the gangs that hovered about and squabbled over the trashed land just fine. Why they want to command the district is a mystery to me when all it's filled with is crumbling, hollow shells of buildings and demolition crew. It will be worthless until it's rebuilt by the government. I really don't understand gangs sometimes.

Beliqua tapped my arm, pulling me out of my reverie, and she pointed to one particular hollowed out building. It was tall and eroded, and gave the impression it was leaning slightly to one side. It was the building where the gang speeches were held because it was in the centre of this district. Some called this district simply Gangland and kept well away. I wouldn't quite call it Gangland yet with all the bustling construction that took place during the day, leaving the gangs to hide out. But soon if more people turned to them, I dread to think what this place could become.

I followed Beliqua, who had pulled slightly ahead as I had stopped to stare at the building for a moment and heard a few jeers from some men sitting on their motorbikes. They leered and I gave them the dirtiest look I could before moving on.

We slipped into the gang speech's shabby building along with a few other people. From what I could tell, we were bordering on late. No matter; to arrive early meant a poorer chance of escape should a fight break out. I had no desire to be mired behind a crowd of fighting people, unable to reach the exit.

"Neriah, wanna get in the side?" Beliqua asked me in a hushed so we didn't attract attention. I nodded and the two of us began to make our way so were next to the gathering crowd. To the side gave you a decent view, but also gave you enough space to escape if needed. There was no point coming if you couldn't see. More people jostled in, irritating me, but I did nothing but glare. Any action taken could result in a fight that spread like wildfire in a crowd like this. Slowly, I pulled away so the two of us stood against a cold concrete wall to the side of the proceedings.

The building finally seemed to be full and no-one else was entering, so gang speech wasn't far off now; I could feel it. The space left at the front was just rubble really; a gaping hole was where the back wall should be. That was where the people giving the speech would enter – out of the black void.

And sure enough three men with silver hair, strange blue-green eyes and similar black leather outfits came into the dim light, the sound of crunching debris under their feet. Their eyes were odd, but how so I could not say the distance being a little too far for my eyes. People at the front all began to shift uncomfortably and I wondered if it was linked to their general appearance or something more specific.

One was young – too young to be involved in scenes like this – and wore his silver hair just below his jaw. A teenager of about seventeen, no more than eighteen surely, and he looked troubled, even angry. Perhaps he did belong here; many angry youths had stormed this building in the past demanding war. None ever achieved it, but their vainly tried. But this youth had a quiet, steely determination I hadn't ever witnessed here. All three possessed this determination to some degree.

The second eldest was male from what I could tell, just very feminine looking and sinuous. He had a graceful step and long silver hair that fell to his shoulder blades. He had a faraway look in his eyes that slowly hardened and bore that same mark of determination the teenager did. I thought it was odd, but it seemed the teenager was the leader when the other two were clearly in their twenties. The whole team together made my skin shiver and crawl. These people meant serious business, where the previous groups of ragtag anarchists who had less than a clue. I noticed beside me Beliqua was looking wary, even a little worried. We exchanged concerned glances before turning our eyes back to the trio.

The third man. Perhaps not a tall as the willowy man, but with far more muscle. He was stocky, with his hair shorter that the rest. It swept back in an odd manner and I found myself wondering if we should leave before even hearing them talk. Something was wrong.

The third man's eyes had been determinedly roving through the crowd and, to my horror, I saw them rest on me. I never liked it when I was noticed by anyone, but especially gang members. For a heart stopping moment I thought he had recognised me from somewhere and was going to point me out or talk to me. If that happened, I could become linked to this trio who were fronting themselves as a gang and make a lot of enemies I've never even heard of. Our eyes locked and the need to leave rose, but I pushed it down. Slowly they slid away from me and I glared at nothing in particular. I can't believe I let my tough exterior I used as a cover here slip because of some unchecked fear. To bring open fear here was to be weak.

The leader of their gang stepped to the forefront and opened his mouth to talk, quieting the murmuring crowd. Beliqua watched the teenager with a clearly unimpressed look while I found myself watching the burly man who had stared at me. He was strange like the other two seemed, but somehow he had a down to earth quality about him I couldn't exactly place. I mean, the only indication he had given to being even remotely down to earth was the casual way he leaned against a wall before straightening and looking menacing when his leader prepared to talk. But something told me he was laid back guy. I shouldn't be thinking like that. Gang members get you killed. They're too tangled in their need to rule, or petty gang squabbles that break out every day.

The silver haired teenager paused and shut his mouth, and instead came into clearer light and I finally realised what was wrong with his eyes – his pupils were slits and a colour reminiscent of a cat, though with quite a bit more contempt in them. How he thought he was going to win the listeners favour looking derisive like that was beyond me. His eyes surveyed us in one shrewd glance before he readied himself again to speak.

"My name is Kadaj," the leader said, his eyes glimmering like a knife blade, "this is Yazoo and Loz." He motioned first to the thin man and then the burly one. Loz had been the one staring at me with those odd eyes. They were still partly shadowed and I couldn't quite see what was wrong, despite having quite sharp eyesight. You needed good eyesight if you wanted to accurately hit people with small razor-sharp objects.

"We are the ones who will bring Midgar to heel. We seek justice over those who have failed the world." His words were elusive and didn't exactly make sense. How did this apply to us? All it sounded like to me was a charter for vengeance against whoever these three had a grudge against. Why should that concern us?

I glanced around the crowd to see the unease creep onto their faces. They weren't sure what to make of these guys either. I swept my eyes back to the trio again and my gaze was caught up with the burly man called Loz's. He kept looking at me and it made me incredibly uncomfortable. I could feel his eyes on me all night.

"We want to try and solve grave problems that have plagued us since Meteor. Geostigma to begin with," he continued and I felt a little more at home with this subject. The Star Scar Syndrome, or Geostigma as its known, was a topic everyone talked about. The disease that came after Meteor was disbanded. Quite a few people have come down with it and I heard it could be very painful. The theories that these people would not necessarily die, but simply lose touch with the world disturbed me. Apparently, they suffer hallucinations and developed a glazed look until eventually, they just stop responding. I never want to go down like that. These guys weren't doctors, so what they thought they could do about it both worried me and stirred my curiosity.

"We wish to gather the children and cure them. The power to do so relies on Materia that lies far to the northwest of here on the northern continent. There lies a forgotten city that within possesses the means to heal these children. The Planet savers knew of this location and the properties it bore, but did not divulge the information," he growled viciously at the end and everyone seemed to change and contain a wary tension that made everyone twice as uneasy.

By Planet savers, I'm pretty sure that was a reference to the group who set out and defeated Shinra's greatest general, Sephiroth. He devastated the Shinra headquarters and murdered President Shinra, so in a way he did us a favour. He was greedy and treated the lower plate's population as if it was dirt. And maybe it was, but only because he made it that way. He caused the suffering of so many… but now Reeve does an okay job of it. At least he's trying to make things better.

But this idea of strangers taking children to some location in the middle of nowhere to use some unproven crackpot method of curing them was beyond ridiculous. The trio didn't seriously think people would allow something like that? If they did they were either incredibly naïve, arrogant or complete fools. I think Kadaj picked up on our change in demeanour. The whole crowd were staring as if they had gone insane rather than riveted. I glanced at Beliqua, whose eyes bore traces of worry within them. If the crowd turned, we'd have to be out of here quick sharp. It looked like this gang speech was going to be severely cut short.

"Questions?" Kadaj asked, his eyes narrowed as he surveyed the crowd.

There was a wary shuffling of feet. No-one said a thing. This was highly unusual as all kinds of debate came up at the end of a gang speech. The silence was eerie. Slowly the crowd dispersed into the now inky black night. The construction site rarely had any lights on this late. Beliqua lightly gripped my arm and guided us outside with the rest of the people and after an exchange of confused glances, we headed home. We had no idea what to make of it, but I decided then to try and firmly put it out of my mind.

So I gave no further thought of the gang meeting that had taken place that night and it turned out to be the biggest mistake I ever made in my life. Some things seem so insignificant until you possess the power of hindsight. But I got on with my life and busied myself working and saving up cash and a week passed with nothing particularly spectacular happening. That was until my first night off during the week in almost a month. Night's off mean gathering extra cash.


	3. Cornered

AN: Thank you Hollowed Shame for your support!

**Chapter Three: Cornered**

I needed some extra cash, so on my night off Beliqua and I headed off to another bar near where Beliqua lives, known as Hells Pit, said so because of some of the people who hang out there. I'm not particularly scared though; I can defend myself and Beliqua if it comes to that. But winning some cash by fooling some biker idiot that thinks I barely know what a dartboard is and puts a load of money on a game of darts. That's how to hook them in, and I love it.

Hells Pit was crowded, smoky and not my kind of place, but still I ventured in, Beliqua tagging behind me, looking at me apprehensively. She's here because I promised her I'd split the winnings if she accompanied me, because I hate coming in here alone.

I flashed a smile like a knife at the men playing darts and made my way through the smoky air to the dartboard and raised an eyebrow, playing the airhead dummy girl. I loved luring in the big oafish bikers by playing the fool.

"What's this?" I asked in a dumb girly voice and the heavily muscled man with tattoos and scars covering his arms approached me with leer across those gross lips. He motioned to the board and focused his slightly inebriated dark eyes on my wide brown ones that were mock innocent.

"This is a dartboard. For darts, little lady," he explained with that same leer on his face and I managed to force a smile on my face and looked to the dartboard with interest. I made sure to twirl a few short strands of my brown hair between my fingers, pushing them behind an ear.

"Can I play?" I asked and his leer widened considerable and his voice became more like a wheedle as he put one of those disgusting arms around my shoulders. All I could do was put on a false smile while trying not to gag from the smell of sweat.

"Well, you see, we only play for money here, so if you want a go, you gotta pay up," he told me and I pulled away, and rummaged theatrically in my pockets before producing a decent amount of Gil from my pocket and presented it with a smiling flourish.

"Oh, I have money!" I nigh squealed and the man grinned and motioned for me to place it in the empty ashtray, which I did so with an almost teasing smile. This was way too easy. Beliqua nervously took a seat near me, watching the action with wide brown eyes darting from the biker man to me.

"Hey, Buck, can we have that darts match later? I wanna teach the little lady some darts." He gave the man a meaningful look and the man called Buck smirked, nodded and backed off to take a seat to watch the action, while the burly biker handed me three well worn darts, but they still had a point, even it was a little blunt. It made no difference to me.

The biker man spent some minutes explaining the rules and so forth, and I played along, nodding and smiling inanely. Some of the crowd picked up on what was going on with the biker guy; not that they suspected me to be hustling this guy, instead they thought that I was about to be taken for a ride. Made me giggle inside as he took his first go and he ended up on four hundred and one. He wasn't that bad, but I was better; Way better, if I say so myself.

With a silly smile and took my darts after the biker removed his and eyed the board, so used to this game I didn't even need to calculate what I needed to win. Three turns was all I needed. Now for go number one.

With ease I twirled the darts and in a flash my darts had hit their mark. I ended up with all three darts embedded in the triple twenty area on my first go, leaving me on a hundred and eighty out of five hundred and one. It almost makes me laugh when I see the biker man's expression as I turned and smiled widely.

"I did good!" I shrilled dumbly and the man's mouth dropped open, then it closed and his eyes flashed with suspicion, his face hardening and turning to a frown in an instant. I knew that my time was swiftly running out. I shouldn't have been so cocky to do so well so quick, but I couldn't help myself. The guy deserved it.

"You're not an innocent player… you're a damn hustler!" he yelled and my eyes widened and I shook my head, desperately trying to play along. Beliqua began to look more terrified and I decided perhaps it was time to leave.

"Bel, take the money. This man is mean and I'm leaving," I pouted and Beliqua hurriedly took our money back and stood, sidling to the door. The biker man watched me carefully and I continued my innocent stare, but it was too late.

"I don't think you should leave, little lady," he growled, his large hands quickly turning to balled fists, and I knew danger was imminent and dropped the façade.

"You better let us go," I said in a dangerously silky voice, my brown eyes hardening as my hands took my darts from the board. They would soon come in handy. My left hand took one of the darts, readying it to be thrown if need be.

"Beliqua, leave. Go home, now," I told her and she stared at me fearfully, hovering by the door. I flashed my eyes at her meaningfully and her mouth opened as if she wanted to say something, but couldn't let herself.

"Just _go_. You know I can handle myself," I almost shouted and she disappeared out of the door into the night, leaving me to deal with the stupid biker man, who was trying to menace me by getting closer and closer.

"Little ladies need to get taught how to behave," he half muttered and I lashed by leg out, hitting his square between the legs hard. He yelled and collapsed to the floor, and many of the crowd turned to look at me with anger burning in their eyes.

I took a fighting stance, my legs apart and my hands ready to throw, my left one coiled to hit the first person with a dart who came at me, my eyes looking about expertly and calculating an escape.

"You dare touch me and you'll wish you never lived," I growled my threat and the men watched with sour expressions. One of the drunker ones lurched at me, raising the empty glass in his hand to strike me and I spun, the dart embedding itself in his stomach with perfect accuracy. He slumped to the floor yelling and a few men crowded to him, while the rest began to approach me with evil intentions in their eyes.

I swiftly fed the second dart into my left hand and knew I was going to need some fancy footwork if I was going to escape in one piece. So I leapt on a nearby bar table as they got closer and raised a dart as if to hurl it at them, making them shy slightly, and I took the opportunity and flipped myself over most of the crowd, landing on a few of the ones at the back, the darts dropping from my hands, and sprinted out of the door.

The cool night air was refreshing as I ran away down the street and collapsed in an alley, needing to regain some energy after that disaster. I gulped in some breaths before straightening and shaking my head. I cannot try that again, at least, not there anymore.

Just at I regained my strength and prepared for the walk home, a shadow made me start and stare at the entrance of the alley. A tall man with short silver hair stood at the mouth of the alleyway and I realised he was one of the three from that meeting I had attended the other week. He watched me and an unwanted shudder made its way up my spine as I realised that he must have been at the bar I had just fled from.

He didn't say a thing and it made me even more scared than if he had of been talking. Then slowly, he began to stalk toward me, but my strangled gasp halted him and he returned to staring at me, those cat eyes feeling like they were trailing all over my body and making me uncomfortable. He didn't seem to even care that I knew what he was doing, still carefully watching me in the dim light.

"Get away from me!" I finally yelled at the man with the short silver hair and he simply grinned and stalked closer. I backed further into the alley, my left hand fumbling in my pocket for something sharp to throw. A razorblade, small and agile, perfect for the job. Chances were, I could probably scare him off by spilling some blood, but when I stared into those feline, or maybe snakelike, eyes I had the sinking feeling that only a direct hit – maybe even fatal – was going to save me.

Grimacing, I whipped the blade out of my pocket and spun, hurling the blade at point blank range at his face. I halted to see what would happen and to my horror, the man reacted at an inhuman speed, lifting his left arm which had some strange metal device on it that was most likely a weapon, so the blade skittered off it and bounced into the wall before falling to the floor with a clatter.

"Nice aim, pretty girl," he said in a low voice and my mouth gaped as he rushed at me with that same inhuman pace, a brief blue radiance surrounding his body. I was quick and agile and just managed to leap over him, land and run out of the alleyway, heading straight for any kind of crowd to hide in.

His eyes had terrified me the most, I decided as I slipped into a milling horde of teenagers not much younger than I was, waiting around to get inside a nightclub. The coloured lights being thrown about on the ground added to the cacophony of sound and I breathed a sigh of relief as the group hid me well. Those catlike green-blue eyes that had eyed me like a cat does a mouse…

I was just prey, running from something I could never hope to escape. It saddened me to think this, I had always thought I was so tough, so strong and capable of protecting myself. But this seemed to mean nothing to the man pursuing me, and that terrified me. I remained in the throng, but my heart was already sobbing at a loss that hadn't occurred yet; my heart already knowing that I would not, _could _not escape. What he would do, once he had caught me, was the most terrifying thing to think about of all.

Frightened of remaining in the same place too long, I decided to move on and try and make it to Beliqua's house. Beliqua only lived a few minutes away from here, a couple of streets at most. I could make it and be safe, I knew the route better than any other.

Steeling myself for the job, I assured myself that I could always distract the hunter with another razor throw and on that shining thought of hope, began to sprint away from the crowd and turn a corner into a wide lonely street. The night oppressed me and I thought it was becoming hard to draw breath, the tension too much for my body to bear along with the strain of running for my life. I could hear my blood pumping deliriously and my panting panicked as my legs carried me away like lightning.

But this man could outrun lightning.

I knew my error when I heard the pounding of feet behind me, quicker and heavier than my own running and my heart screamed to kill him, if only to save myself. The feet were directly behind me now and I knew if I struck I could cut his throat. In a flash the blade was in my hand and being forced to his throat, but a strong grip covering my hand and wrist left the razor an inch from his neck, and for the first time I screamed aloud.

The man tugged the razor out of my hand so it was flung to the ground and his hand immediately covered my mouth, his tough leather gloves silencing me in an instant. Fear and adrenalin drove me to the point of insanity as I tried to claw him with my hands, aiming the frenzied blows at his face and eyes, but he moved behind me, gripping my waist tight and still covering my mouth, and dragged me into the shadows.

I kicked and screamed, but still he held on to me with ease and pulled me into his arms before speeding off at a slightly slower pace now I weighted his arms, but still with that eerie blue aura that appeared when he sped up. I did not help in the least, violently struggling the whole time. Still he ran in the night, until finally coming to rest in a seemingly abandoned building. The rooms were hollow and empty, his footsteps and my screams echoing. And then, for the second time, he spoke.

"No-one can hear you here," his low voice told me with a terrifying clarity. It was planned, dear Planet, it had to have been planned!

I did not answer, my screams trailing off. They were becoming pathetic anyway; I had not the energy and my throat had quickly become raw from the effort. The man chucked me over his shoulder, so I couldn't see where he was going and walked into another room. I was righted only to be sat on a chair and swiftly bound to it with ropes. They weren't painfully tight, but plenty tight enough so I couldn't hope to escape.

The man walked several steps away from me, the moonlight filtering through the window to his right and illuminating him in a milky glow that highlighted his silver hair. I shivered, the room cold and my mind shuddered at the many scenarios it played through my head as to what this man was going to do. None of them benefited me in any way.

"I picked you," he suddenly said and turned to face me, those snake eyes staring intently into mine and I found my anger flaring up in response to his words, not caring how he would act. It seemed to be too late for me now anyway, so what could it hurt to give him a piece of my mind while I was at it. However, I was driven by anger and frustration, and no well thought out arguments came to mind.

"I don't want to be fucking picked! Why me!" I screamed, instincts making me lash out, and his eyes narrowed as he refused to stop holding my fearful gaze. Panic was beginning to build and I could barely prevent myself from screaming blue murder. The idea of screaming was appealing, but I knew that if I did I wouldn't be able to stop; it would be endless and he'd have to gag me. I didn't want to be gagged, so I fought the urge and waited for him to answer.

"I saw you at the talk, remember? There was a connection; I knew it from the beginning. And then I saw you again at Hells Pit. You were beautiful," he told me and I violently shook my head in disagreement, my lips trembling as I was on the verge of tears.

"No! That was nothing! I just saw you because you were behind that kid! I was just hustling!" I desperately explained and the man shook his head, as if he didn't believe a word I had said.

"Everyone had their eyes on Kadaj, not me. Except you," he pointed at me a finger at me and I shuddered in my bonds, terrified of what the future held for me. I didn't even want to think about it, but how can you not when put in such a situation?

"What are you going to do to me?" I whimpered and he remained motionless, instead keeping those eyes on me like a hawk, unblinking and terrifying. I began to think I couldn't breathe, restricted by being bound up and the terror of this situation.

"I chose you to stay by my side. And you will. I will take you and keep you. You won't leave," he informed me quietly and panic began to claw its way up my throat. I couldn't keep a lid on it anymore and finally I lost it.

"You're mad!" I shrieked and a small laugh escaped his lips, his blue-green eyes finally breaking contact with mine, instead looking at one of his boots as he listlessly scuffed it. I began to think that he was acting rather strangely, almost as if he was sorry about what he did. This man truly must have been mad to abduct someone and then regret it. Why do it in the first place otherwise?

"I'm not mad. I find you attractive and I want you to be mine," his eyes flashed to mine as I knew what he was planning to do. I couldn't bear it, no, not like this…

"You have a funny method of going about it, you bastard! 'Take me', you say – you fucking dare and-" I said in a strangled voice, but in an instant he had used that surreal speed to bridge the gap between us, leaving a faint blue echo of his movement, and covered my mouth tight. His hand moved to my jaw and the power of the grip his fingers exercised on the side of my face silenced me immediately.

He stopped and bent over to examine me closer, tipping my head from side to side and then focusing on my eyes, as if he were searching them for something. He let go of my jaw and I wondered what he was going to do now, my heart hammering behind my ribcage.

That's when he kissed me hard and fiercely, and I was frozen in shock at the action. What scared me most was the _passion_. How could he be so passionate when this meant nothing? I didn't know him, how would he know he would even like me? And to my utmost horror and revulsion, parts of me were enjoying his impassioned kiss, my heart the worst betrayer of all, welcoming the kiss and making me want to scream.

He drew back and unconsciously licked his lips, making me feel sick and I turned my head away, my face reddening from mortification. And on that note, he retired into the shadows, out of the door and I heard the door click from being locked. I was too shocked to even cry at the situation I had been put in. The ordeal had drained me, and I felt myself become tired; worn out from the fighting, running, screaming and the adrenalin aftermath. In no obvious danger, my head finally lolled onto my chest and I slept.

Loz departed from the room that contained his prize, his lips still holding the memories from when they were upon hers. He thought she was attractive, and the element of deadliness she had displayed in the bar was simply a joy to watch. She wasn't nearly as powerful or skilled as he, but compared to all the other women he had investigated after the gang talk, she had been by far the best. And what Loz, or the other two, wanted, Loz got. The girl was undoubtedly upset at being captured, but he hoped she would adjust with time. Time is a healer, he thought with a twisted smile.

The burly man left the house and sped down the dark streets, that strange blue glow creating an aura around him to where he knew the other two would be waiting for information. He would bring good news tonight.

He rounded a corner and dashed into another empty building that the moon unveiled as where Kadaj had made his gang speech. Loz halted in the clearing where the crowd had stood and in the shadows, Kadaj and Yazoo emerged.

"You chose someone?" Kadaj asked in a cool voice and Loz nodded, looking to each of them. Yazoo was his usual silent self, his matching snake eyes wandering over the wreckage of the building as he took a seat perching on a lump of concrete embedded in the floor. Kadaj was agitated, restless and strolled about the room, his eyes flashing in the shadows to Loz's.

"Yes. She was the most perfect candidate out of all those who attended. She will make a fine vessel," Loz updated the two and Kadaj eyed the eldest man critically with his cat's eyes. Kadaj was slightly shorter than the other two, but contained a presence that almost mirrored Sephiroth's, the feared one.

"She is on par with us?" he asked crucially and Loz shook his head and leaned against a wall to look at the far wall. He didn't want to look at the other two of the trio, his mind wavering between business and pleasure. They were both getting mixed up in one another and his mind was becoming clouded with plans.

"No, but with training and possibly some alterations, she could almost as good as we are. As a vessel, she will be perfect. Her style of fighting is to throw sharp objects at her enemies with lethal accuracy. Fast and deadly for a regular person," Loz elaborated and Kadaj listened with mild interest while Yazoo appeared to be deep in thought.

"Is she willing?" Kadaj enquired and Loz looked up to the ceiling and expelled a breath, the room cool enough so it briefly floated in the air like a mist before dissolving before his misty eyes, his thoughts turned to dealing the plan, converting the woman to his will. It was supposed to their will, but they hadn't even met her, so what did they know?

"No, but in time she will. I'll see to it," Loz finished and then he went to leave, in his mind all business done, but Kadaj's sharp young voice called his attention. The burly man halted and turned, repressing the urge to sigh. With each passing day Kadaj seemed to become more and more possessed by their plan. The paranoia in Kadaj appeared to be growing with each passing day and it slowly was beginning to irritate and concern Loz. Yazoo was silent when in Kadaj's presence, but when the occasion arose, Loz and Yazoo would converse quietly. What Loz learned hadn't pleased him in the least. Bursts of what Yazoo concisely described as 'tantrums of insanity' did not bode well for their trio.

"How long until we can use her?" His eyes glowed in the shadows and Loz wouldn't meet Kadaj's eyes, instead looking down at his feet.

Loz's face looked ponderous for a minute, before he lifted his eyes and stared levelly into Kadaj's cold ones.

"Two or three weeks and she'll be mine," he said with a certainty and Yazoo's face creased with slight confusion as he replayed the sentence in his head. He turned his slender form gracefully to face his comrade, brother; no-one really knew for sure.

"Do you not mean that in three or so weeks she will be _ours_?" the quiet one posed to Loz, carefully moving his long silver hair away from obscuring his face, and the eldest realised his mistake and shook his head as if to clear it.

"Of course. See you," he evenly replied and left without further word out into the streets where dawn was about to unleash itself on the citizens of Midgar.


	4. Adjustments

AN: Thank you for the reviews - I appreciate every one. To be honest, I wasn't expecting many as AC stories aren't exactly popular or widely read. I guess I'm just that kind of girl. Well, here it is...

**Chapter Four: Adjustments**

I awoke when I heard the door to my room creak and my head immediately snapped up to attention, not wanting to appear vulnerable. It was daybreak, the pastel morning light filtering through the small frosted window. I wanted to be vibrant and strong in the man's presence, but the way he manhandled me and bound me up like I wasn't even fighting back didn't exactly make me look particularly strong. I hated that with a passion.

My eyes couldn't focus on the door because, annoyingly, the door was behind me, so all I could do was struggle and strain my head to try and see who it was. I guessed that it probably was the silver haired man that had effectively abducted me and is now holding me prisoner. And sure enough, he slowly stalked into view, giving me a small smile and sat on the wooden floorboards directly in front of me and looked at me.

"You know you don't have to be scared of me," he told me and I thought I was going to blow a fuse from such a ridiculous statement. How dare he try to reassure me after taking me like that? He has no right when he's terrifying and took me off the streets!

"WHAT? Are you insane! You snatched me from the streets after chasing me and now I'm tied up in a desolate building with no clue what the HELL is going on!" I screamed at the top of my voice so my lungs strained from the effort. It felt good to get that out of my system, but I was afraid of the man's reaction. He did nothing though, just watched me in that disconcerting way before standing to rove aimlessly about.

"Sorry. It had to be done, and you'll thank me later for it," he told me haughtily, making me want to spit in his face. I would cut his throat, but my arms were still pinned and after hours of being bound and I doubt I would have hit my mark anyway. Such a pity.

"Thank you? Ugh, let me go," I tried to reason and then fell silent, displaying on the face that I clearly didn't want to talk to him, refusing to look at him. Instead I turned my gaze to the frosted window and wished it wasn't so small and high. Perhaps I could have escaped otherwise.

I saw the man walk up to me out of the corner of my eye and I felt the need to look at him so I could make sure he didn't do anything. The man looked down at me, those creepy eyes burning into me so I felt mentally paralysed. I could see his right arm undoing the metal thing on his other arm. It came loose and he held it in his left hand and the man finally opened his mouth to speak.

"Name's Loz. What's yours?" he quietly introduced himself and I felt my mouth drop open. Why should I tell him my name? But a part of me, compelled by that piercing look, made me close and then open my mouth again, swallowing so I could talk, my throat still raw from the raving.

"Neriah," I sighed and he gave me a small smile, apparently pleased by my answer and then began to unbind me from the chair, sitting the device on his knee as he did so. I gaped in shock, not caring if he noticed or not, and the smile lingered on his lips as my arms were freed. I didn't take any action against him, knowing that I couldn't hope to get away even if I tried. This Loz clearly looked satisfied by my lack of struggling to run free and gave me a nod as he took the rope away from my legs.

"I'm afraid this is only temporary, until I can trust you further. Do you want to get cleaned up in the bathroom?" he asked me and I silently nodded. He took my right arm in a firm grip, but it didn't hurt, and guided me through into a room I realised was his bedroom and part of me began to panic as to his real intentions, but he took me instead to another door, tossing the metal arm guard onto the bed as we went. Through the next door led to a smaller, almost completely bare room and then to the small door in there that opened to reveal a small, but meticulously clean bathroom.

"Use it. I'll be outside. Promise I won't enter," he informed me with a sincere expression, but I had no idea how truthful he was. However, passing up a chance to get a wash and use the toilet, as well as massage away the deadness I was feeling in my limbs, was not an option and I shut myself in the bathroom and used it as best as I could.

Afterwards, he took me back to my chair in the same fashion and bound me up again, but I noticed not as tight as last time. I think that was probably a reward for not being stupid enough to try and make a run for it when he released me when it was clear I could not escape. It didn't please me to know this, and it severely pained me to think that I may well never be free again, but there was nothing I could do, so I was resigned to my fate.

Loz started walking around again, in a way that looked like he was thinking, and he ceased to pay any attention to me. His footsteps were slow and contemplative and they were putting me on edge, wondering what he was thinking about, or maybe planning. The idea he was planning something worried me far more.

Finally, he halted and then strolled to a corner where furniture had been stacked and pulled out a chair with one hand. He turned to face me and straddled the chair back to front a mere metre from me, resting his head on his arms, which sat across the back of the chair, to peer at me with those intense eyes.

"You can ask me some questions if you want," he told me and my mouth opened in shock at his offer. Since when do captors presenting the option to ask questions? Is this guy really crazy? Although I'm not forgiving him for being a bastard for taking me in the first place, but from then on considering what he could have done, he's been quite hospitable. Well, except maybe tying me up. I realised that I had drifted into a whole little spell of thought, my eyes clouding over and staring at Loz's arm, though really looking through it.

I snapped back to reality, my eyes suddenly meeting his slit pupils and I drew in a breath, a question pushing its way to my mouth before I could bite my tongue.

"Why did you abduct me?" I asked, eyes wide, and then I suddenly had an urge to frown, my lips turning to a pout. Loz regarded me inquisitively for a moment and he then sat back, his arms falling to rest on his knees. He seemed to mull on it for a little while, I guess to think what to tell me. I didn't really expect him to actually tell the truth, so I wasn't surprised by his answer in the least.

"Because I was told to," he answered and I lowered my head, teary anger building up inside me. Tears threatened to spill, but I have a mind of iron to exercise control. I would not cry in front of him, no matter what he did. The hunger and thirst that was beginning to develop was by no means helping.

"That's not a proper answer. You don't seem like a go-between to me," I gritted me teeth and choked out, managing to compose my face and confront him. He shrugged and looked away, only confirming that he wasn't strictly telling the truth. We remained like this, this strange fragile stalemate where he would not answer me and I would not talk, when he broke it with an intake of breath.

"I'm not. I work as a trio and together we formed a plan. Part of it involved taking you. Well, not you in particular, but a person," was all he would say and his eyes slid away from mine once more, instead looking at the frosted window. I think it was really a distraction from looking at me, and I was glad I didn't have to look into his eyes. They always made me uncomfortable.

The need to cry subsided and instead I became intrigued by the answer that he worked within a trio. Who were the other two and what were they like? What the hell did they want with me?

"Why am I here? And don't say because you planned to kidnap me, or those others told you," I added sharply and Loz stopped looking inanely at the window and focused on me like a hawk. I began to wish I hadn't been so prickly with him, who knows what he might do, now I think about it.

"I… can't tell you exactly. All I will say is that I chose you, not the other two. Maybe I shouldn't have," he ended shortly and then stood, finishing the conversation. He went to leave, but I called out to him, my stomach protesting loudly, my mouth parched and he looked to me.

"Hey! Uh, I'm hungry. And I'm really thirsty," I declared and his mouth opened in surprise, and then was hastily shut again. He eyed me, making me lower my head in an effort not to be looked at.

"Oh. Of course, I'll get you something," he said and departed, leaving me to think about what had been said. So he chose me, not the other two. And that last sentence… it sounded like he shouldn't have said that, but what did it mean? He chose me for other reasons than just the plan?

I shivered, the empty building having no heating system whatsoever and I patiently waited for Loz to return before I died of starvation and dehydration. And froze to death. I have a right to whine – I _am_ the victim captive here.

Thankfully he was only gone for about twenty or so minutes. He opened the door with a flourish, making me jerk in surprise and stare at him quizzically due to his behaviour. Loz ignored my expression and strolled toward me, a paper bag in his hand. I patiently waited for him to give me food, when it occurred to me that my hands were bound, so how was I supposed to eat and drink?

"I got you," he said, pulling out a sandwich and flashing me a grin, "a cheese sandwich and there's also some water in the bag."

I stared at him helplessly, struggling with my arms to reach the food. My stomach was having a field day, not happy with being taunted by unattainable food before it, made worse when he removed the water as well. Loz frowned and looked down at my arms striving against the rope and I guess the cogs began to turn in that muscle for a brain of his.

"Oh wait, you can't. Guess I'll feed you myself," he reasoned and my mouth dropped open in shock at the suggestion. I was about to comment on how I didn't want to be fed by my lousy captor, who apparently wants me alive, but forgets to feed me – but before I could, Loz seemingly took my open mouth as an indication to feed me and stuffed the sandwich into my mouth.

My mouth clamped shut in surprise, taking a massive chunk of the sandwich with it, and the large piece went down my throat so I immediately began to choke violently. Loz's eyes widened at my reaction and I felt helpless, unable to move my body to help hack out the lodged food.

I desperately wanted to wave my arms about, but couldn't and Loz quickly began to untie my bonds to help me out, loosening my arms first so I could bang my chest. Loz pushed me forward so I was choking in the view of my shoes and smacked me hard on the back. The piece of sandwich finally dislodged and was disgustingly spat out into my hand. I threw it in the bag and inhaled deeply, leaning back into the chair and Loz moved to face me, concern lighting his eyes.

"Sorry, I didn't know I- uh, are you alright?" he asked me and I nodded, my throat hurting from the effort of choking. I drew in some shakily breaths and sat back, closing my eyes to recuperate. I could hear Loz shifting about, but why I didn't know and frankly didn't care. I was too consumed just getting my breathing back to normal, hoping the pain in my throat would subside.

Suddenly I felt my hand being touched and I instinctively jerked it back, but I was firmly gripped. My eyes flew open to see Loz placing the sandwich into my hand, and then holding out the water to me. I briefly gaped, but grabbled the water and focused on stuffing my face. I was careful not to choke or look like a completely disgusting eater. Still, I ate pretty quick, leaving Loz to just stand nearby and look awkward. If he hadn't of been such an idiot, maybe he wouldn't be so sheepish now.

"Sorry about forgetting to feed you. I don't eat much myself. Don't need to," he suddenly hastily explained, eyeing me warily as if I were going to detonate. I did nothing to even indicate that I had listened, or cared, and simply continued to eat and drink. Nevertheless, my mind had picked up this piece of information with great interest. He didn't need to eat much? Why? This statement only led me to further believe he couldn't be human and made me want to cry. I wouldn't though. I would make sure to bite my lip until it bled and fist my hands until the indents from nails turned to gashes that gave me the distraction of pain than tears. I would rather be angry than sad.

The food and drink were quickly consumed and I was left with nothing to do except talk to Loz. I didn't want to talk to my captor though and so remained absolutely silent, despite the fact he was staring intently at me, as this would prompt me to say something. I stopped looking at him in favour of the bland washed out wall with peeling dull yellow wallpaper and he moved his head to obscure my view of the wall. His look seemed to be gently teasing me.

"Hello?" he gave a small wave with his hand, which only served to antagonise me and I frowned. My face clearly darkened while his remained impassive to my expression, still a hint of teasing lingering on his features.

"What?" I coldly replied, still annoyed with him for almost choking me, trying to talk to me without answering important questions, and of course for kidnapping me in the first damn place.

"I want to get to know you. Remember what I told you when I first… brought you here?" he asked, clearly glossing over the fact I hadn't wilfully come here. I shrugged, turning my head to the side and allowed my eyes to drift to the floor. I didn't like recalling that.

'"_I chose you to stay by my side. And you will. I will take you and keep you. You won't leave."'_

I didn't say anything, those words overwhelming my mind. The fact that I will not be leaving here anytime soon… that I was going to be forcibly kept here by him in some kind of twisted relationship I'm assume he's concocting from the way he had said 'take me'. Take me… so I guess if I do leave here, it won't be as an upstanding woman like I had planned to be. Bastard.

Loz was still watching me, but with an edge of anger on his face because I wasn't responding in any way, just sitting there like a rag doll. From the corner of my eye I spied his eyes glowering slightly at me and I became afraid of him, of what he might do as punishment.

"I…" I began but he angrily fisted his hand and I fell silent, worriedly considering whether his action meant for me to be silent or not. He loosened his fist and brought his hand to his face, resting the palm on his right cheek. I watched with interest, unsure of what was going through his mind as he stood still as a statue looking at me.

After several long minutes, with me feeling like a mouse deadlocked in the stare of a cat, he released a tense breath and lowered his hand. Loz seemed steelier, as if he had made up his mind on how to approach me. Slowly, I think deliberately, he walked right up to my chair and began to bind me again. I sat back resignedly, just glad it appeared he was going to leave me alone, when he finished and put his face unsettlingly close to mine. All that encompassed my vision were those burning eyes, more green than blue this close. His slit pupils disconcerted me greatly, but there was no way to avoid them.

"You remember. You _will_ willingly become mine. I don't want you to fight me," he leaned back slightly and I released some of my unconsciously held breath, "and eventually you won't. See you tonight." He placed a kiss on my lips, a chaste one unlike the previous passionate one that left me feeling sick.

He left the room, his words ringing in my ears though he had spoken in a low, deadly soft manner that had made my skin shiver with the need of escape. This was a dangerous game I had wanted no part in, but here I was tied to a chair in an empty shell of a building with nothing to do but wait for the man that had captured me to return, a dependence that sickened me. Intense fear cascaded through my body, his words still replaying through my head. I would be his _willingly_. How could he do that? I-I wouldn't… I'm sure he could not achieve that, but a conniving part of me was already reminding me of that first kiss he had forced upon me, how a part of me had liked it. Sickening!

"Sickening!" I shouted to no-one and my tears quickly slipped down my face as my flagging hope of escape finally diminished and died. I was failing; all hope dead and my resistance dropping away to make way for resignation.

I would be his.

* * *

Loz had business to attend to. He was needed that day for Kadaj's planned exercise of the day: intimidate head saver of the world and nemesis of the great Sephiroth, Cloud Strife. Kadaj had instructed Loz and Yazoo to handle matters.

Kadaj seemed to be getting worse by the day, though the teenager himself showed no appearance of noticing his own behaviour change. Though Yazoo spoke rarely, even he had raised the subject with Loz when the younger member of the trio wasn't around in his soft, concern filled voice.

Loz reached the trio's wrecked building-turned-headquarters to find it unsurprisingly empty. The conversation and feeding of Neriah had left him a little behind schedule. Poking a head into the largest room in the building they had made into a makeshift garage, he discovered a bike provided for him. He supposed it was for the task Kadaj had set for them and approached it jauntily. Loz liked motorbikes a lot and smiled as he found the key resting in the ignition.

"Perfect," he murmured and slung himself into the seat, turning the ignition while his foot nudged the stand up. The motorbike roared to life, making Loz grin broadly, and spun the motorbike towards the door. He drove it through the rooms and out of the hole in a wall near the entrance before kicking it up several gears and roaring down the streets and out of Midgar.

Within a matter of minutes, his motorbike going at the maximum speed, he made his way out to the location he had been given. Dusty land surrounded Midgar and Loz looked about for his partner. Massive amounts of dust were kicked up by the tires, leaving a miniature sandstorm trail in the bikes wake while Loz hunted for Yazoo. After several minutes he spotted the long haired man, his silver hair shining in the mottled sunlight. The second eldest man levelly watched Loz approach, but his faraway eyes were unfocused, instead thinking upon other things. Loz drew alongside his partner and cut the engine to talk, ignoring the floating dust swirl about them and threaten to choke him.

"Kadaj coming?" Loz asked Yazoo, who slowly blinked and turned his gaze out to the unmoving plains of dust as if he were expecting somebody.

"Perhaps, I am not sure. He has not been in a very good state of mind of late. Yesterday it was all I could do to stop him from rushing out of the headquarters and attempt to slaughter all Strife holds close to him. He had to go to rest for three hours," Yazoo said in his soft voice that bore a slight lilt of an accent Loz strained to place.

The three of them had not always been together; they had each led very different lives across the Planet. It wasn't until their true heritage came through that they found one another and had remained that way ever since. None of them spoke of their former lives, but Loz wouldn't have minded divulging his past or learning of the other's old lives. He himself had grown up a naturally stout boy, adopted into a lumberjack's family and so put his build to good use hauling lumber about. When they were kids, they were… normal. Loz remembered having black hair until he turned ten and it began to give way to silver. By eleven, it was completely silver and he heard his adopted parents have concerned, hushed discussions over what was happening to him. At sixteen, he began to hear a voice in his head, one that tried to guide him to leave his family, destroying them and his village in the wake of his departure. But he had refused and continued to live his life, slowly straining under the pressure of holding the voice off.

But the voice had become more and more insistent as years passed and he began to slowly succumb to its will. Loz found it was easier to follow the voice than to stave it off. He did not return to his village. He couldn't.

He left following the call of the voice and reunited with his blood; the voice of Jenova soothing him with the concept of blood was thicker than water. _Your brothers need you more than they ever could._ Now Jenova gave them a free reign over what to do now they were on her side and not humans any longer. Her voice no longer plagued him – her will was directed almost completely through Kadaj. Loz had his suspicions over Kadaj losing touch with the world and Jenova's instructions and presence in his mind.

"Well, we'll wait for five minutes. But if we're expecting him to come by…" Loz trailed.

"…Then we leave," Yazoo concluded, his usually quite abstract voice firm and the inflection sharpening. Loz nodded, still reflecting on his past and what the others pasts could be. Loz couldn't help but become intrigued by the slight accent Yazoo carried in his soft voice.

"Look there," Yazoo said quietly, his voice inaudible to a normal person. But they were normal and Loz heard perfectly, already following Yazoo's slim finger pointing to a cloud of dust in the distance. Even with his enhanced sight, Loz could only make out the flash of the sun glinting off metal and of course the trail of dust.

"It's him," Yazoo determined and kicked his motorbike to life, his eyes never leaving the figure in the distance. Loz started his engine as well and waited for the figure to pass them by so they could chase. Chasing was the name of game that day; chasing until Strife was well warned and deterred.

Sure enough, Strife's familiar hair was seen shining in the sun as he sped by on a customised motorbike the likes Loz had never seen before. It didn't matter; all that mattered was giving Strife the message. And with the two of them he would hear it loud and clear.

"The hunt is on," said Yazoo with a hint of a smile gracing his lips and they sped after the blond haired man, motorbikes roaring across the dusty terrain. The chase was easy since Strife wasn't expecting company. Even when they drew up beside him, the blond haired man merely looked confused and a frown began to form.

"What do you guys want?" Cloud growled over the roar of the motorbikes.

"Nothing," Yazoo said with a faint smirk on his face. His eyes were always clear and focused in battle and other intimidating situations. He was always the intimidator. Loz leaned over to Cloud to finish their message.

"Just a message," said Loz gruffly before smashing his motorbike into the blonds. Cloud shot off to the right only to find Yazoo careering into him. His motorbike skidded dangerously to the side for a moment, but Cloud recovered his balance and revved the engine before attempting to outrun these strange men. What had struck him was their uncanny resemblance to his ex- arch enemy Sephiroth. His mind had been too focused on that nugget of information, rather than the fact they were threatening him.

His motorbike stayed in front and the two silver haired men exchanged looks before Yazoo nodded and they sped on to draw alongside Cloud once more. Cloud growled again before turning to Loz.

"This is a rather silent message, clone." He chanced at the clone part – they looked more than alike to be anything else, but the look on the man's face was a picture of shock and anger.

"How dare you! We're clones of no-one. We are blood brothers, sharing the almighty kindred cells of Jenova!" Loz yelled angrily while Yazoo followed, his eyes glowering.

"We are not copies. We should not speak of this, Loz. Finish him," said Yazoo in a voice of steel and Loz lashed out with a fist and punched Cloud as hard as he could manage while speeding along. Cloud jerked his head back, but a glancing blow still split his bottom lip and a small trickle of blood made its way down his chin. Cloud lunged his bike into Loz, who fell back and Cloud turned to look at where he was going to find them heading for a tunnel.

'_Just great,'_ thought Cloud sarcastically and he continued on with Yazoo alongside him. Yazoo had now fished his weapon out – a stubby gunblade - and was brandishing it with finesse, aiming it at Cloud's midsection.

"No!" Cloud shouted and hit the brakes, spinning sideways while Loz's own bike went shooting past him. Yazoo pulled his gun up and directed his shot at the ceiling so he missed Loz and swerved his own bike around to chase after Cloud.

Cloud shot after Loz, not wishing to deal with that gunblade the long silver haired man was wielding and hefted his sword out from it sheath, determined to bring these guys down before they ended up killing him. Didn't they say this was just a message?

Loz saw Cloud's determined gaze coming toward him and he turned to see where he was driving before an idea hit him. It was risky, but worth it. He stood up on his bike and lifted his arm guard, the Dual Hound with a wicked smile before leaning down and putting it on the ground so he swung his bike around. His legs gripped the bike tight and he rotated his eyes focused on the approaching motorbike, in particular Cloud's widening eyes of horror. He let go and sent the bike catapulting towards their enemy and then rolled painfully in the road, his leather outfit taking the brunt of the damage. He quickly jumped to his feet, feeling roughed up but pleased and ran to the side to survey his handiwork.

Cloud had seen the bike fly in his direction with complete incredulity and dismay, but that didn't stop him from managing to dodge it, only the back end of his motorbike getting clipped and causing a slight veer before he drove out of there to safety. Yazoo had fired some shots after him, but never expected any to hit, which they didn't. He grumpily drew up alongside Loz, who looked put out and motioned for the older man to hop on.

"Yazoo – I never expected him to be able to miss the bike, I swear. It just didn't go to plan," Loz explained hurriedly and Yazoo shook his head as he turned to see the ruined remains of Loz's bike.

"This got out of hand. I do not think Kadaj will be pleased, though he favours violence. You will have to find a replacement motorbike. Perhaps it is better he managed to get out of the way, for this was only supposed to only be a message and not an attempt on his life," Yazoo replied gravely as he turned the bike around and departed. Loz felt disheartened, but he instead thought about Neriah and he brightened. Fun was still to be had.

Yazoo kept silent the whole journey back to their headquarters. He parked in their makeshift garage and got off, followed by Loz and they walked out into the dilapidated street. Loz glanced at the sun to see the afternoon beckoning and then looked back to Yazoo, who had returned to his expressionless dreamy state.

The two silver haired men exchanged glances before nodding goodbye and heading off in their respective directions. Yazoo had his business as Loz had his. Neriah needed to have an eye kept on her.


	5. Possessed

AN: Hello! Thank you for the reviews! Just a quick note that this is short, but rather graphic, so be warned.

**Chapter Five: Possessed**

When he finally had exhausted our stilted conversations, Loz spent several days in silence, just sitting around and watching me. I refused to talk to him, though he said nothing to me, remaining in his solitude, though invading mine with his watchful eyes. I wondered for hours over what he possibly was doing, or perhaps looking for in me. I couldn't bear to meet his eyes; they made me edgy. Over the two weeks I had spent with him, he had not done anything more than his ritual kissing of me every night before he left me alone. Those kisses were the worst, not because I hated them, but because I _liked_ them. It made me feel like I was betraying myself, giving in to this man, but I could feel myself slowly being bound him a little more with each passing day.

I knew that when he decided to claim me for good, I would give in to him and it made me hate myself. He was the only contact I had and with each passing day, those features became more familiar and… handsome. He hadn't been exactly ugly to begin with, but I hadn't looked because I was too consumed with fear. But now I was in no imminent danger and he spent all that time just looking at me, I would unintentionally steal little glances at him and notice things that made me blush, like his well developed body and his nice jaw line with those sideburns… it made me mentally rage at myself for even thinking about him like that.

When he finally took me, I enjoyed it. I remember that night well. The previous day Loz had unbound me from the chair, instead locking me in a room that was adjoined to his and I realised we had taken another step closer to what I was fearing and sort of wanting. That night, he did not give me his ritual kiss and my body tingled with the realisation of what he was probably planning. The next day he visited me, sitting on the floor next to me and we calmly faced one another, both civil.

"You're going to make me yours," I stated calmly and I knew by his carefully blank expression that I had caught him off guard. He remained motionless, but the look he shared with me in his eyes confirmed it.

"There's no point denying it; I can see it in your eyes," I added and he stood, shortly followed by me. Still he didn't talk, but he constantly kept his eyes on me, as if he couldn't tear his sight from me, which chilled me slightly that anyone would look at me in that weird way.

"Loz, say something," I pleaded, feeling peculiar at his own odd behaviour. I just wanted him to say something, or do something; even if he shouted at me, or hit me. Just something, _anything_; the tension was killing me. At that, Loz finally found his voice and he flashed me a grin.

"Then I guess you'll see me tonight," he said matter-of-factly and with one last look, he stalked out of the room and locked the doors, leaving me to stand and stare. I shivered at the thought of what would happen that night and curled up on my makeshift bed, scared to move in case I flew into a panic and tried to futilely escape.

Tonight I was going to become his.

* * *

Loz visited his comrades again at the disused building, who weren't there. All he could guess was that business was afoot, but he couldn't work up the effort to care, instead all his energy focused on what was going to transpire that night.

He rubbed his hands together, restless from the images in his mind of how tonight was going to end. Neriah would become his and then she would never leave him, he would make sure of that. She believed herself to be expendable in his eyes, but oh no, that wasn't the case at all; the complete opposite, in fact.

Loz agitatedly strode around the room, trying to collect his thoughts on how he was going to do this, and what courses of action he would take should things not go to plan. What if she rejected him? He had hoped learning all about her and trying to create a sense of familiarity would help combat this. The kissing was partly to do with that, but mostly to do with Loz's desire for Neriah. She had not been chosen to serve the other two as well, as planned, but instead she had been chosen to be only Loz's. Though Kadaj had helped plan this, Loz was not going to allow any interference of Neriah by either of the other two if he could help it. They didn't even particularly like people, so Loz thought he was probably safe anyway.

Loz began to get tired of waiting for their return, eager to make preparations for that night, what to say, do, behave and any other eventuality that could cross his mind on the way home. So he searched around the partly destroyed desks to finally produce a scrap of paper and blotchy pen, hurriedly updated Kadaj and Yazoo on the situation and left it on Yazoo's preferred seat of rock where he believed they would most likely find it.

Running a hand through his hair, he rubbed his chin and left the rubble, his thoughts concentrated only Neriah and that night.

* * *

I awoke from my huddled sleep to find it was the evening and began to panic. I knew I couldn't refuse him, but I was confused over whether I actually _wanted_ to refuse him or not, which made me feel mixed up and sick. I went next door to the bathroom and cleaned myself up, taking a nice shower and so on. I was scared of presenting myself to him and being rejected! How stupid is that? I'm afraid my captor won't want me? I should be trying to make myself revolting so maybe he'll throw me onto the streets and let me run away.

The whole house sounded quiet but really, when I think about it, was nothing new as Loz could move about without making a noise when he wanted to. I calmed down and simply sat crossed legged in a meditative state, calming and reassuring myself all the while that nothing bad was going to happen.

When I finally rose out of this hazy meditative state, it was night and my heart leapt into my throat. But I soothed myself and remained calm. I effectively resigned myself to my fate, forcing my mind not to deeply contemplate anything in particular, making all my thoughts become abstract and empty.

By what I estimated to be almost midnight, I heard a sound of a key in the lock and my heartbeat increased considerably. Loz entered and my mouth opened in shock, before hastily being shut. He moved away from the door, his eyes on me, but didn't rush up to me. Instead he remained halfway between the open door to his bedroom and me, just us watching one another.

We remained like this for an unknown amount of time until wordlessly, he undressed before me, removing the leather straps and boots and the rest of his outfit to stand alone, naked before me. I didn't know what to do, what he wanted me to do and so blushed and fidgeted with my hands in the moonlight. That's when Loz approached me, his pale muscled body illuminated in front of me. He walked right up to me and took my shoulders, making me look him in the eyes.

I stared into his ophidian eyes, unable to look away until he closed them, leaning down and passionately kissing me. It was horrible, the longing I felt as he did that. I wanted him, though he was my captor, perhaps _because_ he was my captor. I returned his insistent kisses with my own overpowering ones. And as I did, I felt him undress me; my blouse quickly undone and slid off my shoulders, followed by my skirt. Eventually we were both stripped before one another and I trembled from fear and excitement.

He led me to his room and swept me into his arms, then headed to his bed and laid me in the centre, still continuing our kissing all the while, feverish and powerful. I knew there was no going back, but at that moment I did not care. He climbed on top of me and lowered his full weight down, making me gasp. His hands began moving all over my body; across neck, breast, down my stomach making me shiver, and to my thigh. I unconsciously opened my legs at his small prompt, wrapping them around him and making him bury his head into my neck after we shared what felt like a timeless look.

He took it as a signal and with that, he thrust into me and I cried out from the pain of my virginity stolen, but Loz either didn't notice or care, too consumed with making me his, instead lavishing kisses feverishly on my neck. The pain subsided, but was still muddily remembered, though it was quickly slipping away as his body moved against mine. My body seemed to know what to do, moving with his as if we were one and he murmured my name, which made me feel peculiar. My arms were wrapped around his neck as I leveraged myself up to his hips, my lips seeking his, and his eyes shone as he realised I was agreeing to this.

I wasn't sure what I was agreeing to.

But by then, I no longer cared, I was so absorbed in what was happening right then. I was sucked into the moment as he ravished me, our hips almost welded together as we moved back and forth in a frenzy of lust. I knew I shouldn't be doing it, but I couldn't stop myself, lost in the moment.

Eventually it reached a peak and I screamed in ecstasy, leaning up into Loz's arms to be tightly embraced by those muscular arms before I fell back to the bed and struggled for breath. Loz joined me, rolling off my body and we lay in a heap together, panting in each others faces, unable to do anything for some minutes. Loz was the first to regain any energy and used it to catch my chin and steal a kiss from me, his lips pressing overpoweringly against mine. My mind was barely functioning and I couldn't comprehend why he was treating me this way. Before I could return the kiss, he had let me go and watched me tiredly on his side.

Finally I returned to my more rational senses and began to panic over what I had just done. Had I been thinking straight? I shouldn't have given in, but what would have happened if I had rejected him? I might have ended up dead, or bound up even tighter until I would comply.

I felt sickened to realise that these sounded like excuses and not valid reasons and I turned away, unable to face Loz's watchful eyes. I wasn't sure what would happen now, or what was worse; giving me my freedom after just taking my virginity and so proving I really am just discarded trash, or keeping me prisoner, perhaps as some kind of slave where he would use me at will. Both resulted in me having been used and I began to feel like crying.

"I shouldn't have done that," I quietly whispered. I knew he would hear me; all his senses seemed heightened, but I didn't care. I _wanted_ him to know how I felt, whether he liked it or not.

I shivered and from behind, Loz placed his hands on my back and ran them slowly down, making me quiver from his touch. They felt like he was leering, though I couldn't see his face and didn't dare look.

"No, you probably shouldn't have. But you did," was all he said in the darkness and I heard him shift and turn away from me. The silence stretched between us and I heard his breathing steady and become slower. But I couldn't leave. I remained frozen on my side, my mind tumbling through the events of that night and I berated myself for being a fool. Some part of me had hoped he wanted my body because he meant to love me, which was stupid wishful thinking. My thoughts fell onto my friends, particularly Beliqua, and I felt my heart break at the knowledge they probably thought I was dead and gone from the world. I missed them terribly and wondered if Loz was going to be the only person I'd ever see until I die, whenever that may be. Sooner, rather than later, I bitterly hoped. I deserve it for being so foolish.

It was past midnight, I wasn't positive though, and I drew the covers over my shoulders, not wishing to be exposed. Tears trickled down my face, unable to halt them as I thought of my friends, what I had done and death. A small sob escaped my throat, but I snuffed any more in fear of Loz waking.

My mind tired of this endless circle of deprecation, as well as the lethargy from, well what happened, and my eyes slid shut and I at last found some vestige of peace in sleep.

* * *

Loz watched her after she had fallen asleep for some time, his eyes riveted on her. It was easy enough to fool the woman that he had been sleeping; his senses were sharp as a knife so he could hear her with ease. Apart from the crying he thought he had caught, it had gone quite well. She hadn't resisted him in the least; she had gone along with the whole thing, the next part of the bonding he was creating between them. This one had been particularly powerful; he didn't think he would forget that in a hurry.

He was going to need to inform the other two of the achieved progress. Loz considered telling them about his change to the plan, but decided to let it wait for a while longer. If it backfired, he would at least have a few more nights of tasting her body.

Action was going to need to be taken against those who were going to stand against them. Violence wasn't a problem; he enjoyed violence when it had purpose. Loz liked to think you could relish the fighting when it bore purpose. Meaningless brutality meant nothing to him. The Planet savers would have to be dealt with, he knew, but Kadaj and Yazoo had more knowledge on that than he. Loz had had his hands busy with the separate project; Neriah. And it had been a very time consuming job indeed. But for now, he was happy for her to lie on her side and not possessively held in his arms.

* * *

AN: Comments on the graphic nature. The rating was kinda a warning on that, but I feel it's neccessary in order to bond the two together. Review? Take pity on a poor girl? 


	6. Aftermaths

AN: Thank you for the review! I'm really grateful - here's number four!

**Chapter Six: Aftermaths**

I woke up alone, which wasn't the most reassuring way I would have liked to begin the day. Does this mean I'm free to go, that what he told me was all an elaborate lie and now I was used, discarded? That sent a nasty chill down my spine. Which was worse, being used and discarded, but ultimately free to go, or trapped but with him still by my side?

I drew the covers closer to me and my heart didn't miss a beat when I noticed the door to the room where I used to be tied up was locked; I was able to make out the lock hooking the double doors together. What have I done?

Ruined; That's what I've done, I have ruined my life sleeping with this man. Is he even a man? He moves too quickly, he's physically too strong, but I can't see him to be some kind of monster because he's too human looking. The eyes, I forgot those slit pupils so his eyes were like those of a cat, or a snake. My life is permanently changed by this abduction. If he lets me go, I'm not going to forget something like this, so it will be forever engraved on my mind. What if I take a husband, I-I'm meant to be pure and virtuous, at least that's what I had planned for myself. _Sorry honey, I was kidnapped aged twenty one and the guy sort of coerced, though I partly was willing, me into sex._ I don't think that would work out too well, so I've also ruined my life all by myself.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

This is what Loz lived for sometimes. The fight he knew was going to ensue already has his blood pumping, ready for action. The second prong to the attack wasn't particularly endearing at all, but it had to be done. It was all part of the plan.

He didn't bother using any speed, instead preferring to stroll to the small dilapidated church. It was one of the few relics of the old Midgar that survived, by some miracle. Loz didn't believe in miracles, but still a miracle of a kind that it still stood as it was. Loz stopped outside it to look at it for a while. Around it lay rubble of buildings that did not meet such a lucky fate and Loz cracked his knuckles. This is where one of the fool Planet savers chose to live his life. Cloud Strife was an idiot and need to be put down before he could stir up trouble for the three of them. That wouldn't do at all, especially with one failed attempt already. Kadaj hadn't been pleased by their actions nearly killing Strife, but somehow had also been cheered by the closeness of his death. Kadaj had had a better day then, according to Yazoo. Yazoo's eyes told Loz that this meant nothing. Going from just warning Cloud to instructing Loz to finish the blond off today didn't bode well at all, but they had to follow Kadaj now; he had Jenova instructing him and what he said was as good as from Jenova herself, wherever she was. After dealing with these Planet savers, the next part of their plan would be put into motion: finding Jenova's body. Or head – whatever was left of her. Kadaj seemed adamant a part of her had survived otherwise they wouldn't be hearing her in their heads those years ago.

Loz didn't know what to make of the situation. As far as he was concerned, his main part in the plan concerned Neriah, since neither of the other two wanted to interact particularly with her if they could help it, yet they wanted her to be converted to their way of thinking and Loz knew that no-one would be willing to attempt to create such chaos – especially Neriah. She was pretty strong willed, but still… she did give in to him. She was growing on him, though she could be a little too outspoken at times, almost as if she forgot she was being held captive. On occasion, it lapsed his mind that she had been abducted by him and it disturbed him a little.

A job had to be done today, and he had to focus on that, so he cleared his head and slowly opened the large double doors of the church. He looked in to find that Cloud wasn't there and rolled his eyes, deciding that this wouldn't be a good start to the day if Kadaj threw an insane tantrum. He went to leave when he caught sight of another of the Planet savers – the dark haired one – Tifa. A slow grin crossed his face. Perhaps he wouldn't kill Cloud today, but if he could leave the man another message…

"Hello," he said in his baritone voice and the woman straightened before turning around to face him, a protective arm around the accompanying girl's shoulder.

"Who are you?" she asked suspiciously and Loz shrugged, stepping closer menacingly in a slow gait.

"I wouldn't exactly say I was a friend. I was looking for Strife, but he seems to be out, so I'll just relay a message to him," he said, deadening his eyes. Tifa gave Marlene, who she now wished hadn't come, a little push and leaned down to whisper, "You have to run when I say."

She straightened and balled her hands into fists before charging at the silver haired man as fast as she could, "RUN!"

Marlene scrambled to the side of the church with a screech and dived under a table. She refused to leave Tifa when that man seemed out to hurt them. She hated the grin on his face with a passion.

Tifa threw a barrage of punches at the man, but he managed to deflect most of them with his Dual Hound, though was surprised at her strength and tenacity. It hadn't taken her two seconds to realise he was trouble and she immediately went to deal with it. He supposed the Planet savers weren't as foolish as he took them for.

Tifa fell back and gathered herself, determined to take this man down before he hurt her, Cloud or the church. Some things had to be preserved and this place was one of a few that had survived Meteor. The pink ribbon around her arm was for Aeris – everyone in the team wore one for her and she wasn't going to wear it in vain. With renewed determination she ran at him again, directing a kick at his chest with a grimace.

With ease Loz grabbed her attempted kick and spun her in several spins, before letting go with the intention for the dark haired woman to hit the wall, but somehow she twisted in the air and landed on her feet against the side of the wall. The petals from the flower bed had fluttered everywhere caused by their destruction. Loz hadn't looked at first, but his head rose, a grin gracing his face, but it faded when he saw her look down at him with dark eyes that were cold and hard. Murderous.

She flew at him, pushing her legs and arms off the walls and tackled him to the ground, her knees driven into his stomach, but he didn't cry out though the pain had finally touched him. In response, he levered his knees up so she was flipped up and over his head, falling hard on her back, and Loz took the opportunity to get up and ready himself for another attack.

On his feet, he swiftly checked his Dual Hound, a mixture of arm guard and something that could gouge with its twin points if need be. He barely took his eyes from the metal device when a punch hit him square in the solar plexus and he fell back, thankful the leather had absorbed most of the impact.

Tifa came at him again, but he quickly jerked his head back and avoided the blow, only to be hit with a flurry of a dozen more punches. All he could do was be hit and try to raise the Dual Hound in protection while backing off. It hadn't hurt, but it had surprised him. He stared at Tifa for a moment, surprised at her quick recovery, but all he saw was tiredness and anger. And so another smirk appeared on his face.

"You _dare_ invade this church," she growled and lifted a leg, then snapped it into his face, causing Loz to stumble sideways from the impact to his jaw. Loz briefly squeezed his eyes shut from the searing pain that spread from his jaw across his face, but pushed it aside and surged forward, smashing his Dual Hound into Tifa's side, making her scream and grip the pain in her side, then roll and push both of her legs up and into his jaw. He saw this coming and used his inhuman speed to fall back and leap over her as she rolled to her feet, and then smash his Dual Hound into her back. She fell to the ground, the pain in her back throbbing intensely.

Loz halted for a moment, annoyed that the battle was going to end in such a pathetic manner, then grabbed Tifa's neck and yanked her head up, planting a blow in the back of her head. He turned Tifa over and let her fall to the floor, the flowers surrounding her. Loz had applied the right amount of force to the blow so her eyes were fluttering dazedly. She was just conscious enough to hear his speech before he departed; he needed to give her a message before leaving. Roughly, Loz picked her head off the floor and stared at her coldly.

"Just a warning - don't you or Strife try messing with us. This is what happens." He let go of her head and her eyes slid shut and remained still, unconscious on the bed of flowers. For a moment he pitied himself that he hadn't the time to relish the fight, instead focusing on the battle at hand as well as the speech afterward. Loz didn't even bother regarding her to make sure she was out when he turned on his heel and left the church, pausing to pick up a white flower as he left. He could present it to Neriah later.

His eyes swept over the room before he left, suddenly anticipating that Marlene had not listened to Tifa's advice. Sure enough, he spotted the little girl crouching in a corner and as soon as their eyes connected, the little girl ran to Tifa, calling the woman's name.

"Sorry little girl, but she's not waking up for a while. Why don't you come with me?" he tried to persuade the girl, but Marlene shook her head, her eyes riveted on Tifa.

Loz, tired of dealing with the child, menacingly approached her, making her turn and stare fearfully into his cool gaze. They departed, Marlene kicking and screaming under an arm while in the other dangled the flower.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

I couldn't get to my clothes or the bathroom, which annoyed me to no end. I was effectively held prisoner in this bed until he returned, which more than pissed me off. Did he just expect me to happily sit here, or did he forget like with the food? Loz is more than a mystery sometimes; he's a full blown enigma.

I was just about to try yanking the double doors open to get to 'my' room when I heard the other door begin to unlock. A mixture of relief and annoyance flooded through me and I opened my mouth to indignantly yell, "You could have at least allowed me to get dressed!"

There was no reply and I started to get worried. Was he mad at me, or about to throw me out, or what? My body tensed as the door opened, then my eyes went wide.

"AHHH!" I screeched when the other silver haired men from that gang speech entered and I wrapped the covers as tightly as I could manage around myself, my eyes straining from nearly popping out of my head. The creepiest thing was how unconcerned they seemed about my position. They didn't seem in the least bit interested that I was naked. I shuddered; what were they going to do?

"I see that Loz has spent some time with you," the teenager said coolly, his eyes dead looking and disturbing. These two were so… inhuman compared to Loz. I wished I had some damn clothes, but it wasn't going to do any good.

"You're… Kadaj and Yazoo, right? Loz spoke about you," I said warily and Yazoo tipped his head to one side, his snake eyes focusing on my sharply. It was quite a contrast to that faraway expression he seemed to hold at the speech and made me even more uncomfortable.

"So he has told you about us. We were wondering if we should introduce ourselves as you shall be spending some time with us in the near future," a small cold smile curled onto Yazoo's lips and I shuffled as far back as I could, which wasn't nearly far enough.

"Time?" my voice shook slightly no matter how hard I tried to hold it steady. If they were as strong and agile as Loz, then I was more than done for. No hope for escape, nothing if they didn't want me to. As I thought this, Kadaj curled his lip in disgust and turned his intense blue-green eyes on me.

"Physical intimacy won't be on the cards if that's what you mean. As if. Loz can keep his little pet," he hissed and I recoiled, hurt by his comment. Kadaj turned to leave and looked to Yazoo, who returned to his more dreamy state and was looking into space.

"Yazoo, let's go. I have other business to attend to," Kadaj continued and Yazoo absently nodded before turning a softer gaze on me.

"We shall meet again… he has not mentioned you by name, as of yet," Yazoo trailed and I lowered my head. A part of me wanted to simply scream, another just tell him so they left and a last piece that was considering whether it was a good or bad sigh Loz hadn't referred to me by name. Was he protecting me somehow from them, or was I too worthless to even be given a name?

"Neriah," I said faintly and Yazoo nodded, then left with Kadaj, who ignored me completely and simply left. Those guys really shook me up and I hated every minute in their presence. Today has been awkward enough as it is, but to pile them on top of it all is just too much.

I sat in my swaddled covers for an hour before Loz returned, looking a little dishevelled but cheerful, and he frowned at my scared expression as soon as he entered.

"What? You look spooked," he said and I didn't say anything – it felt like my jaw had just seized up. I wasn't even angry at him anymore, just… a little scared. Okay, a bit terrified. I shrugged and he came closer, curiosity clear on his face.

"Neriah, what happened?" he said with a more forceful tone in his force, now beside the bed and I managed to meet his eyes.

"Um, Kadaj and Yazoo paid me a little visit," I explained and Loz's face hardened.

"What did they say or do?" he questioned stonily and I shrugged, shaking me head.

"Nothing much. I think they were introducing themselves, or something. Maybe checking up on me?" I suggested and Loz relaxed marginally before moving to where 'my' room was and unlocking it.

"You can get washed and dressed while I go out for a while. You know not to try anything, Neriah," he said and left, locking all the doors behind him. I stayed where I was for a while, thinking. When I looked down at the end of the bed where he'd been standing, a beautiful white flower lay and my mouth fell open. I froze for several minutes in pure shock. What the hell was he thinking? After some time I cautiously got up, dragging the covers with me for modesty, and approached the flower. Where had he got it and why? Perhaps it was a ploy to charm me – to convince me that he wants me in some sick, strange way. It's all part of a ploy is the only conclusion I can draw. With a frown I picked it up and stroked its delicate petals. It was velvety to the touch and very beautiful. Though Meteor wrecked Midgar and allowed for plants and wildlife to grow where the land had been cleared, nothing like this had grown, only scrubby short plants with no flowers. Midgar plants were like its people – fighting for survival without a care for beauty.

A part of me wanted to get rid of the flower, but I just couldn't destroy something as striking as this in a dull world of concrete and machinery. It would be… unacceptable. Instead I took it into the bathroom a few rooms away and tipped out the cup that had held toothbrushes and filled it with water. My new makeshift vase complete, I placed the flower gently in the water and took a moment to admire it before turning away to shower and dressed. I really needed some more clothes if I was going to be held here all this time. Perhaps I could bring it up with Loz. Where had he gone?

A shower and some dressing later and I sat in my usual spot in the room adjacent to Loz's on the solid unvarnished floorboards with my back to the pitifully tiny letterbox window made of a yellowish misted glass. Cross-legged, I closed my eyes and attempted to meditate. I'd never learnt to meditate, but I did what I thought could be considered meditation; calm steady breaths, my hands lightly resting on my knees and clearing my head of troublesome thoughts. I wasn't a captive when I was meditating, I was… elsewhere, buried in my thoughts. The happiest thoughts I had, which weren't tons. Many of them had my best friend Beliqua in them. I missed her and wondered if she thought I'd been murdered. She was pretty much all I had for a family and vice-versa. Though I could be quite strong physically, she had an inner strength that could crush mine. She would probably manage fine without me. Beliqua was a survivor.

I didn't like these thoughts at all. Too upsetting… I shifted my legs about since one was starting to go to sleep and redirected my thoughts elsewhere. My clothes. Maybe I could get Loz to take me to my house to get my clothes, though I guess it would be a little risky. Beliqua might have cleared it out, or even be there. Someone new might have already moved in. I still had my house key in my trouser pocket, which could come in useful.

With a heavy sigh, I had had enough of meditating and thinking. I just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. I couldn't leave myself so vulnerable with Loz about no matter what had happened between us. I couldn't let it happen again, but was there anything else I could do? Hopefully he would leave me alone.

I stood up and balled my hands into fists and paced around. Part of my routine was to try the handles on all the doors – just in case. One was opposite the window, a plain wooden door that didn't look like it led to anywhere worthwhile. But when it opened in my hand, it made my heart leap with renewed hope. I yanked it open wider to peer into the darkness, my eyes alight with curiosity.

"Oh." It was a closet. No clothes, but plenty of other things to entertain. Books, papers, a few scattered pens. More useless things like music CDs – no player in sight. Still, books could make this thing a little more bearable. I began rummaging through all this stuff and wondered whose it was. It didn't look like Loz's, but more likely the previous owner of this place, wherever they were. If they were lucky, they were killed in Meteor, if not… they met a silver haired man and met a most likely gruesome end. Kadaj and Yazoo didn't look pleasant at all. At least Loz tried to be a little human, though he failed and was just a jackass. But better than those other two. If I were in their captivity, I reckon I'd be chained up and never fed. And on that train of thought – why the hell was I here anyway? Loz hadn't done much so far, except… did that have a point? Why me out of everyone? He'd told me I'd been chosen, but with no indication for what purpose. A shiver ran down my spine at the thought that the three of them were in on it together.

To calm my nerves I picked up a book and shut the cupboard then returned to my spot by the window and read. I didn't know how calm and uneventful the next few days were going to be. Until that say Loz made an announcement that surprised me to no end. That day showed me something about Loz I'd never really noticed or thought about before. It also made me realise some things about myself I would have rather not and set the scene for a whole chain of events I was going to both regret and look back on in the future with a fondly pained look. Those memories had been both been painful, but held something I never wanted to forget. How foolish. Hindsight is a funny thing now, but…

… I think even with the benefit of hindsight, the silly thing is… I think I would still go through with it all.


	7. Out on the Town

JBadgr, thank you so much for your reviews – you really brightened my day! So much so, I decided to put my next chapter up early! Hope you like it!

**Seven: Out on the Town**

"We're going out," Loz announced one day and I looked up from the book I had found inside the house's closet. It was strange. I was a prisoner, but with each passing day I felt less and less like one, though I felt the weight of my lack of freedom. It was a horrible transformation that I didn't know whether I wanted or not, because if I accepted it I could be free in a sense. I was beginning to resent the closet I had discovered since it had made this imprisonment more… comfortable. In turn, this newfound pastime helped me endure the time, but consequently made me more accustomed to being in this situation that I needed to leave. Loz hadn't said anything about my evident discovery. I had expected him to maybe punish or at least scold me about exploring and opening things I shouldn't be, but he didn't say a thing when he first caught me reading. If I remember rightly, he merely shrugged and left me to sit and read by myself.

"Huh?" I said, shutting the book and placing it on the floor. He looked… different today, though I couldn't say exactly what it was. His demeanour was a little cheerier than usual, I suppose. His eyes were filled with a… strained look? I felt myself tensing with worry, wondering if this was bad for me or him, or even both of us.

"We're going out tonight. To the cinema to see that Faithless movie," he told me and I frowned. Since when did we start going out like a couple? Yeah, every forced kidnapping results in romance! Get your abductor today! I locked eyes with Loz and he looked at me with interest. I was in some of the new clothes I had been supplied with: a loose fitting white long sleeved top and a pair of jeans that surprisingly fit just right. However, this was the only other outfit I had and this wasn't good enough. At some point I was going to have to convince him to let me check out my house for clothes. And this looked like the perfect opportunity, but I wouldn't suggest it right away. He might change his mind about going out and I'd lose out altogether. Any kind of freedom – as mild and short-lived as it looked like it was going to be – was better than none at all.

"Where did this come from all of a sudden?" I questioned, my suspicion growing. He folded his muscled arms across a strong chest and I felt my heart sink. I wasn't getting out of this and it looked like I wasn't going to get a proper answer either. I still was weighing up freedom against appearing in public with Loz, unable to cry out for help. This bout of freedom may make my imprisonment worse. I might like the taste of it too much and all this time cooped up may prove unbearable. I'm confused. Do I really want that reminder of what I've lost?

"You wanted to see it at some point, right?" His eyes weren't budging from mine and I wanted to disappear from his intense gaze. I wish that I hadn't told him about that now. It all stemmed from those conversations we had back before he took me. I think that perhaps he's trying to do something nice for me, but it's backfiring. I guess I do want to go outside, but… I don't know. When does imprisonment become less frightening than the prospect of freedom? I climbed awkwardly to my feet and shuffled over to him, if only to distract him and myself for a while and I pulled his arms apart.

Well, tried to. After a few moments of tugging, I pleadingly looked up and his eyes softened. Slowly, his unfolded his arms before placing them around my waist. It felt possessive and I was on guard again. I felt like an item, though perhaps he was trying to assert himself. I was being a little more antagonistic than usual. Usually I sat and read and tried to get along with as little fuss as possible and gave in to any demands made of me, which were few, though I didn't like to talk about them. I suppose I was now resigned, but this teasing of freedom wasn't going to be enough and I felt… I'm not sure. Frightened that it will be too much for me, that I wouldn't be able to deal with this situation like I had before. I was getting angry and frustrated. How dare he hold me here against my will! Tears began to build, but only in my mind. I wouldn't cry in front of him. He better have a good explanation for taunting me with freedom like this.

"Neriah… don't you want to see outside for once? Don't you want to live a little?" he chided me and I felt anger take hold of my heart and give it a tug. So it was naivety. He plainly didn't realise what this 'treat' brought about inside me. Pure turmoil.

"Excuse me? I would have lived a _lot_ had I been free to do what I want. But, oh wait a second, I can't because _someone_ took me captive against my will and… a-and… you did _that thing I will not talk about_ and I'm stuck here forever!" I ranted, refusing to meet his eyes, instead choosing to stare adamantly at his chest. He drove me mad sometimes. It was his careless thinking without any in depth consideration of how I'd feel that infuriated me. Why didn't he just use that muscle for brain for once in his life! Or maybe he was socially retarded and… No, I'm taking my anger too far. He was looking at me with a devilish glint in his ophidian eyes.

"What, that I took you into my bedroom after stripping and then we moved to my bed and then-" he shut up when I slapped him as hard as I could. He stared at me in shock, his arms dropping away from me and I stumbled backwards. I stepped back until I hit a wall and realised I was cowering from him. Fear shot through me like an electric jolt, my breathing already quickening. Oh, what have I done?

Loz still looked pretty shocked, but it began to fade to concern. Concern? It should be me who's concerned, in this case for my life! And slowly, he began to walk toward me until he was almost against me. I couldn't move from both fear and the fact I had pinned myself against the wall. I couldn't meet his eyes, terrified that they held anger.

"Neriah, I'm… sorry. I deserved it. I shouldn't have goaded you like that," he said slowly and I met his eyes with sheer disbelief at his words. He wasn't as socially retarded as I first thought. He had apologised to me… It felt like I'd been mentally slapped an woken up to what was going on. He _apologised_…

"No, I… thank you." It was all I could choke out. We shared equally confused looks, but his faded slightly and he leant down to me. He placed a gentle kiss on my lips, the first ever. His hands slid around my waist again, but comfortably and felt almost… unconscious, not that controlling possessiveness I had felt from him before. It had always been powerful, rough kisses, but this… maybe this had meant something. It terrified me more than torture could.

The silence pervaded. I wasn't sure where to look anymore as embarrassment at my thoughts and feelings fluttered through my head and heart, leaving me floundering in confusion. Tentatively, I looked up to see Loz watching me, but I couldn't discern what he was thinking or feeling.

"Well, I suppose we go," I said faintly and he let me go.

"Alright. I'll let you get ready. Back in an hour," he said shortly and left, shutting the doors behind me, but didn't lock them. That didn't mean he didn't lock the main door. He doesn't have that much faith in me. I certainly wouldn't.

I sighed. Things were getting too complicated. I headed for the bathroom to freshen up before Loz returned. I had a film to watch.

* * *

We were walking in the streets of Midgar – with fresh air and sights and sounds and lights! It's almost overwhelming to see, hear and smell all of it. I wouldn't care if a gang member tried to attack me; I think I'd be glad for the experience. Which is a little sad and desperate, but that's what you can be reduced to when you're a captive. I was dressed in a simple white top and a pair of black jeans, while I had been surprised when Loz had fetched me to leave for this district dressed in his leather jeans and a black shirt that had three or four buttons undone at the top. He didn't look so menacing without those leather shoulder pad things that crisscrossed over his chest. The lack of his arm guard thing he still hadn't told me the name of also helped a great deal, though I guessed that he could handle of gang of people unarmed. The thought chilled me slightly as I looked about.

Loz and I were walking down a small street with people wandering along heading to the entertainment district. It was a proper district, but much of the entertainment facilities were located there – just off from the city centre. I was getting a little irritated with Loz at that moment.

"Grip my arm any tighter and I think it might fall off," I hissed near his ear and he loosened his grip, eyes widening slightly in surprise. I don't think he realised how tight he had been holding on. A streak of possessiveness must have gripped him or something. Maybe he's jealous that I'm looking out at the world and there are, shock horror, other men in it! Maybe he thinks that I only stay with him because I have no other options, because he's completely right. What other option did he think I had when placed in the situation? Reject him or try to escape and be beaten until I did? Suicide?

"I'm sorry," he said in a low voice and moved his hand from my arm instead to rest around my shoulders. I didn't shake him off in case he thought I was trying to make a break for it. He seemed too comfortable in his body, I realised. I'm not so much, at least in terms of contact with other people. I'm just not a hugely touchy-feely person and it felt strange that Loz – apparent gang member silver hair trio guy – was so casual and relaxed. It made me wonder if he had done this to other women and where they were now. Dead probably, if they were real.

On that happy thought, we had finally arrived at the outskirts of the relatively small area for entertainment. It wasn't in the least shabby looking – everything gleamed and was filled with happy, smiling customers and workers. This didn't really surprise me considering the people who came here had some money to spend on entertainment. IT saddened me to think of how Beliqua and I had promised to save up enough money to come here and see something together. We'd never get to do that now.

I realised that Loz was watching me stare at the district, a trace of awe on my face which I swiftly hid. A smile played upon my lip, catching me off guard and he guided me towards the tall metallic building slightly to the left. It stood four storeys tall and its metal exterior nearly blinded as the setting sun's last rays reflected off of it. I briefly shielded my eyes, then lowered my hand and chose to squint if only in defiance as Loz was smiling at my actions again. It was beginning to irritate me.

"Stop smirking all the time like that," I softly scolded him and he gave me an innocent look before shaking his head and avoiding my gaze. I ground my teeth and lightly punched his arm.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "you're just… never mind." I was now intrigued by his evasiveness and scrutinised his face, which was looking straight ahead and ignoring me, though I could tell that he knew I was looking at him.

"What?" I probed, curiosity filling my voice. Loz shrugged uncomfortably and tugged me along into the cinema and lowered his eyes.

"Just thought it was cute the way you looked so enchanted by this whole place. I just liked that in some way, I made you happy," he finished so quietly, I could barely hear it over the so-so bustle inside. There were a few dozen people milling about, queuing for tickets, or buying popcorn, or simply standing around waiting for someone. So he liked making me happy. He clearly didn't think far ahead.

"If you really want to make me happy, you would let me go," I murmured and Loz's face had that same expression of surprise when I slapped him. His grip on my arm briefly tightened, but what it meant, I had no idea. Was it a warning or something more possessive? I pondered on it as we queued for tickets, my eyes wandering over the corny details the cinema had inserted in order to bring about the feeling that this had been standing for longer than a year, when the entertainment district got built. Old fashioned popcorn makers for display and pictures from past movies make me faintly smile. I don't know why Loz thought it was a good idea to take me out to the movies, but I was glad he did. Even if he did and decided to comment on it like that… making me happy indeed. Something has changed and it was worrying me. I felt relaxed, even with his arm lightly gripping mine from even before we left the building.

We reached the counter and the gaunt man handed over the tickets after Loz paid up. Then I was steered away instead toward the popcorn seller. Loz caught my attention with a wave and I faced him. He looked as if he had forgotten the whole earlier incident.

"Do you want popcorn, Neriah?" he asked with a leisurely smile slowly returning to his face and it occurred to me that he'd never told me what kind of life he had lived. I didn't know whether this was the time or place to ask him about it, but on the other hand, when else would I ask him? How long was I even going to be around, anyway?

"Yes, alright? Have you ever been to the cinema before?" I tried to come across as casual as possible, yet he stiffened as soon as the words left my mouth. I unconsciously placed my free hand onto his chest, fingers brushing his bare chest where the shirt was open. I wanted to placate him – I didn't mean to upset him, but my curiosity got the better of me.

"I'm sorry. You don't have to say anything," I quickly added, my eyes widening. He faced me, his expression imperceptible and I slowly removed my hand. It surprised me when he snatched my hand back, pressing it back to where it was and my mouth dropped open.

"It's okay. No, I haven't been to a cinema before. I grew up in a village," was all he said and he only made me want to ask even more questions. However, I let it lie for now. We picked up popcorn and Loz changed his hand to hold mine, making us look a little bit more like a relaxed couple than him just tugging me about wherever he liked.

I was actually beginning to get excited about the whole thing as we entered the screen and took our seats. There were quite a few people sitting about in couples, or groups. A lone woman sat at the very front, crunching on some popcorn.

It was so nice to watch a film, but the whole experience drained me. It was ridiculous; I finally got to see Faithless and my eyes were beginning to feel heavy. Loz held my hand the entire time, though I wasn't sure whether it was to prevent me from suddenly jumping up and trying to dash away, or some more obscure reason that I didn't really want to even think about. I gave him my damn freedom and body, what the hell more could he expect from me?

Slowly after an hour, the picture hazily blurred and my eyes drifted shut…

"… Mmm," I moaned softly, irritated at being moved slightly. I was resting against something warm and slowly opened my eyes to find myself pressed against Loz's shoulder. I was slumped over the chair and my arms had found their way around his neck, clinging tightly to him. It was an uncomfortable position and I jerked away in surprise.

"I was trying to wake you. Sorry if I hurt you," Loz said quietly in the dim light. The film had finished and people were filing out. I can't believe I missed the film, but at that point I was too busy yawning and finding my head sliding back to his shoulder again.

"No, I was just startled," I mumbled as another yawn escaped. I stood, swiftly followed by Loz and we exited the cinema into the dark street. The cool air against my face felt good and I paused to enjoy it. I felt the warmth of Loz beside me and turned to face him.

"I guess we go back," I said and he nodded. To my surprise, he offered me his arm as if he were a gentleman or something and, with a bemused expression, I accepted it. Then I remembered about my clothes and decided that this could be the perfect opportunity to try and get some clean clothes. To wear clean clothes again appealed to me no end.

"Um, Loz," I began timidly and he turned his head to me, his cool eyes questioning, "I was wondering if I could get some more clothes. From my house perhaps, if my stuff is still there."

He regarded my slightly sleepy face and gave a nod, allowing me to lead the way. It was a fifteen minute walk of silence, which made my skin crawl a little. I didn't know what to expect at my house. Had it been reclaimed, or cleared out by Beliqua?

It turned out it had been left alone, as I peered through the window to see the dark interior. I had no key, so Loz kicked the door in for me and I ran upstairs and pulled my single suitcase off the top of my small wardrobe. I turned and bumped into Loz's chest, since he was right behind me, making me yelp in surprise. I hadn't heard him or anything. It was a little disconcerting. I tried to ignore his presence as he watched me fill up the suitcase with everything I had, which wasn't much in all.

"So this is where you used to live?" his voice came from a shadowy corner. I turned to try and see him, but it was impossible from his shadowy niche. I wondered where he was looking and I successfully creeped myself out.

"Yes," I hollowly replied, stuffing the last of my diminutive amount of clothes into my battered leather suitcase and zipped it up. It wasn't very heavy, but Loz extracted himself from shadow and took it off me, taking hold of my hand again.

We exited and I gave my little house one last look and a silent goodbye before having to focus on the road ahead. That's when Loz ground to a halt and I gave him a questioning look. He dropped my suitcase of things and I glared at him for a moment until I noticed the gang of six men, than is. They leered, a recognisable 'I'm in a gang, so you better watch out' leer. I knew immediately that we were in trouble. The leader wouldn't take my eyes off me, while the rest of them glowered at Loz, who was limbering up, his jaw was gritted tight and twitching.

"What do you want?" I growled and the leader of the gang licked his lips. He was tallish, with long black hair and a thin, but muscular body. He wasn't particularly handsome and I wished that I had some blades, or darts, or anything that was sharp and throw-able. A curse against Loz confiscating any hint of weaponry from me was quelled. We had to at least appear as a united front against these idiots.

"So what do you want?" Loz hissed as the silence stretched. The leader briefly shifted his grey eyes to Loz before sliding them back to me and I balled my hands into fists in preparation for punching this guy in the face.

"Just liked our odds against you two. Plus the girl is kinda hot. And you were the guy at that gang speech from a month or two back – the look-alikes three, right? Your manifesto sucked and riled a bunch of gang leaders up. I'm one of them," he replied, a smirk forming. His hand moved to the gun at his hip and the action started. Loz began to move at his abnormally fast speed, fists ready, while I darted to the left in case the gang leader tried to take a pop at me with that gun. I had nothing but the basic hand-to-hand training I received at the Shinra Weapons Academy. The furthest gang member to my left was scrawny as he loped over to me, slowly un-holstering his gun. I managed to kick the thing from his hands and punch him in the nose, which hurt me almost as much as it hurt him.

I certainly wasn't cut out for punching, I decided as I clutched my stinging hand to my chest. The boy – he looked only sixteen – clutched his nose as blood trickled down his jaw and I smirked, picking up the gun he'd dropped now the pain was slowly fading. I didn't want to kill anyone, but I wasn't letting anyone else get a hold of this. The boy was out of the fight, since he was too wrapped up nursing his nose.

Meanwhile, Loz had quickly made his way to the right hand group of the gang and took them out – three were crumpled on the ground, but I had no idea how this had happened, as I'd missed the whole thing dealing with my one guy. I guessed he'd punched, as this seemed to be Loz's main form of attack. That left the gang leader and a tall, heavily muscled man who cracked his knuckled while lumbering over to me.

Gang leader aimed his gun at Loz, who appeared caught between killing the leader, or stopping the last member from reaching me. I danced back from the fray, my eyes trained on that gun the gang leader had. Loz made a quick decision and sped out of the way of the bullet the gang leader fired.

"What the fuck are you on?" he exclaimed as Loz barrelled into him and sent the two of them crashing into the concrete pavement, but quickly flipped back to his feet in a surprisingly graceful manner for such a burly man. My attention had been diverted too long, as the big man caught a blow on the side of my head and I tumbled to the ground, my mind reeling from the impact. I blearily focused on the large man looming over me before darkness enveloped my senses and I knew no more.

* * *

Loz didn't have time to call out to Neriah as he watched in anger as the tall burly man slugged her in the side of the head and sent her to the ground like a ton of bricks. He was incensed even further as the man bent down to pick her up, presumably to carry her off. A stray wry exclamation of Neriah being _his_ hostage flashed across his mind before a sharp pain in his arm brought him back to the situation in question.

The sound of a lone gunshot rang in his ears and he hurriedly checked his arm. A flesh wound graced his lower bicep, blood lazily trickling from his flimsy black shirt. An unlucky shot, or a lousy aimer? Loz wasn't sure, but he was no longer willing to find out. At some point during his train of thought, the leader of what looked like the Omega gang, had got up and took a shot. Now the man was dusting himself off with one hand while aiming for another shot with the other.

"No," Loz growled and charged at his inhuman speed to snatch the gun away and head butt the moron. The man was out like a light, folding up in an instant. Loz turned his intense gaze to where Neriah had been to find her gone. The tall muscular man had her in his arms, carrying her off.

"Get your own, she's _mine_," Loz snarled possessively and aimed the gun at the man's forehead. He halted, Neriah swaying limply in his large hands. Finally, he put her down and raised his hands.

"Don' wan' no trouble. Killer jus' wanted piece o' her ass. I'll go quiet," the man rumbled and Loz ground his teeth before giving a nod and lowering the gun. There was no point killing when there was no fight. Fish in barrels came to mind. The tall man departed swiftly for a big guy, melting into the night and Loz crossed the distance between himself and Neriah in an instant.

"Neriah…" he tried, but she was out cold. He touched her cool face and she didn't react at all. With a sigh, he picked her up and trudged over to the nearly forgotten suitcase. Carefully juggling her, he managed to hold both her and the case – her resting in his arms while the case dangled dangerously from three fingers.

"The things you get me into. You're almost as bad as Kadaj," he mumbled as he headed home. The cold night air was oppressive with all the soaring shadowy buildings obscuring the faint moonlight. He wished she would wake up so he had someone to talk to.

"Perhaps you're not as bad as Kadaj," he amended after a short while. At least Neriah was sane, whereas Kadaj appeared to be teetering more and more with every passing day. It was too disturbing to think on. Eventually, he reached home and placed Neriah on what he supposed could be called their bed now. She didn't move at all and the concern for her health grew as he placed the suitcase at the foot of the bed, kicked off his boots and sat beside her on the bed to feel her forehead and give her some try-out pokes and prods to try and wake her.

'_Materia. I have some materia around here somewhere…'_ he thought, hopping off the bed to rummage in the lone wardrobe in his sparse bedroom. He came across a low level restore materia and was glad to even have that, since he didn't really favour materia when he tended to use his fists.

He returned to the bed and focused on the materia's power before managing to cast a Cure spell on Neriah's prone form. She didn't react at first, but them a slight movement and muffled moan brought a smile to Loz's face. He didn't think she realised how much she was beginning to mean to him, though he didn't want to broadcast it too much. If she found out how much potential power she had over him… the lines between captor and captive would be even further blurred than it already was.

He remained by her side, his hand holding hers, though he didn't notice he had done anything.

* * *

The first thing I remember when I came to was the warmth of a hand holding mine. It reminded me of when I was a child and I came down with some childhood disease – chicken pox or something, I don't remember right. I had it worse than most kids and ended up feverish and laid up in bed. My mother had held my hand all through it, more of less, so the first thing I felt when the fever died down was her hand holding tight onto mine. And I was so glad she had stayed with me and I felt so loved… it was a memory I cherished deeply, though I don't think my mother knew how deeply it had touched me. Such simple things like hand holding can affect a person more than other's realise.

My eyes fuzzily focused on Loz watching me intently and reality came back into focus. I was here, of course with him.

"Loz…?" I managed to say and he nodded. Things were jumbled. I remembered seeing the first hour of Faithless and picking up some of my clothes but after that…

"What happened?" I groggily questioned, trying to sit up only to make my head spin unpleasantly. Loz immediately pressed me back down to the bed and I grudgingly complied and contented myself to gazing at the blank dirty white ceiling.

"A segment of what I think was the Omega gang attacked us and you got a blow to the head from one of Omega's sub leader lackey's. You took care of one and I dealt with the others. We came out pretty unscathed. My flesh wound's already healed," he explained and a few images of facing a gang of six and walking along my street after picking the clothes up was all I could muster from my memory.

"Mostly gone, it seems," I mumbled and turned onto my side, "I'm really tired. Can I sleep if I've probably got concussion?"

He sighed and I felt him brush a few strands of my hair from my face, making me freeze al little at the gesture. Not something I had expected.

"I used a Cure spell on you, so the damage is healed. The tiredness is probably from tonight's antics. Sleep," he said and I complied. I had had enough of today.

The last thing that lingered in my mind was the gentle pressure of his hand holding mine and the question of why he had gone to all the trouble of taking me to the cinema in the first place. A question soon to be answered.


	8. Isolation

AN: Thank you Sephiroth-Sama and NekoGuyFan for you reviews! I really appreciate every one! And now for…

**Chapter Eight: Isolation**

The event began irritatingly. Loz announced his intentions suddenly, with no real detail, leaving me furious.

"Yazoo and Kadaj will take care of you while I'm away. I've left enough food for you to survive a couple of days if they don't turn up before I do," was all he said and he departed, pausing only to lightly grip my jaw and place a rough kiss on my lips. That kiss from before was a one off, then. Some things will never change and irritate me for all eternity. Bloody Loz and that creepy kissing – he already had my body. Wasn't that enough anymore? What more did he want from me?

I had nothing really to do here, except try and escape or keep exploring that cupboard I discovered and read the books in it. With a sigh, I shuffled back into what could be called my room, though I had no bed now I had to share Loz's, and sat on the smooth floorboards. I picked up the book I was in the middle of reading and continued on. And why didn't I try and escape when there was no-one to stop me? I was losing the will to escape. Loz was becoming more interesting with every passing day, despite the more than unusual circumstances we 'met' and his annoying habit of holding me captive and forcefully kissing me, not to mention other things. And anyway, Yazoo or Kadaj were sure to come by at some point and I had no intention of having _them_ hunt me down, because they were both scary from my first encounter with them. It didn't help when Loz mentioned in our conversations that Kadaj was a little unbalanced. Well, from what he described it was more like bouts of raving madness. And I definitely didn't want to face Kadaj as a frenzied lunatic. He'd probably kill me without a second thought.

I shivered and pulled the blanket I used as a sort of makeshift cushion closer to me, tugging it up over my shoulders. Loz needed to get some heating in this place because Neo-Midgar was prone to cold showers since the Midgar area has a tendency for bad weather, especially since Meteor. Experts from Cosmo Canyon were blaming it on Meteor ravaging the land and creating a minor wound the Planet had to heal, so things found it harder to survive and it made the weather bad. That didn't stop Loz from not bothering to get a fireplace or something. I think it's because he doesn't seem to feel the cold. He's never mentioned anything about it, but I haven't as yet seen him shiver, or mention how cold it is on cool days. Add that to that fact he doesn't eat much and has incredible strength, dexterity and speed for his size, prematurely silver hair and catlike blue-green eyes, and I've got myself a case that he doesn't feel the cold. That, and he doesn't care if _I_ freeze.

I calmed down my overactive brain, instead turning my attention back to my book. It looked like I was going to have to await his return and then question him about why he left. If he came back. A fear gripped me suddenly and my mouth fell open. Perhaps this was when he… did he abandon me? I've been getting more and more afraid of him leaving me, and now… he may well have. He probably just lied and left me here to starve and die, or worse – he's left me for Yazoo and Kadaj. I felt sick at the notion. The book was forgotten, dropped from my fingers and I sat in a glazed state as my mind turned over the possibilities of what could happen to me now I was alone.

* * *

I awoke to the noise of the main doors being opened and jerked upright from my sprawled position on the floor of my room. I swiftly untangled myself from my blanket and stood, afraid of who it could be. I peered up at the small, high-up yellow frosted window to see an early morning light filter through. I had sat frozen in fear last night, until I finally forced the horrible thoughts from my head and read for a little while before the stress of the day caught up and sent me to sleep.

Slow, measured footsteps approached the door to my room and I braced myself for who it could be. I wasn't in the mood to be messed about today. My anger at Loz was bubbling fitfully at leaving me here all alone at the mercy of Yazoo and Kadaj. I especially didn't want to see Kadaj – Yazoo would be better than him any day.

The doors opened and I nearly sighed in relief when Yazoo's long tendrils of silver hair brushed the doors as he entered. He looked less than pleased to be dealing with me, but it was mutual; the last person I wanted to spend time with was the strange, distant man who didn't like humans, despite the fact he appeared pretty human himself, bar a few unusual abilities.

"Hello, Yazoo," I greeted leadenly, my demeanour darkening. To be obstinate, I sat myself down on the floor and folded my arms, "Why are you here?" I didn't care that I already knew the answer; I'd rather appear to be confident and have the upper hand when inside my anger was beginning to mingle with a tinge of fear. Yazoo was a disturbingly beautiful, but deadly man who looked down his nose at people, just like he was doing with me. It only served to make me angrier. He indicated for me to stand, his eyes hard, and I reluctantly obeyed, but tried to look calm and controlled, verging on the point of unconcerned. I still kept my eyes trained on the lithe man, who really did look indifferent.

"I am here to look after you for a short while. A check up, if you will," Yazoo said in his quiet silky voice and a part of me just wanted to slap him in the face. If I did it to Loz, perhaps I would just get away with my life, but with him I think it would be different; I don't think I'd be here to tell Loz the tale.

"Where's Kadaj?" I asked innocently, but inside I knew that Kadaj was probably completely imbalanced and insane by now. Those fragmented pieces of information from Loz I heard never exactly hinted that Kadaj was mentally well, as mentioned earlier; they all implied that Kadaj was less than mentally well. Not that I've ever seen this with my own eyes, but I never wanted to, if I could help it.

"He is… busy," was all Yazoo would say and my mouth opened to bite back without me barely thinking about it. Yazoo was going to kill me.

"What, too crazy to deal with me?" I snapped and I immediately knew my mistake. His eyes flashed with that disconcerting mako glow, engulfed in fury. He crossed the gap between us in a flash, forcing his face into mine so our noses just touched.

"Shut up! Do not dare speak of Kadaj!" he hissed vehemently, his breath hot against my tightly closed lips and I fell back sitting on the floor so quickly I was nearly plastered to the floor. Yazoo regarded me for a while from a crouched position, not like Loz who just all out stared at me like I wasn't even there, but thoughtfully. Almost as if I was a puzzle that intrigued him, or I was being weighed up somehow. It disturbed me how quick the anger that had marred his face faded to nothing, leaving him looking unperturbed.

"W-what?" I stammered, his eyes boring holes into me and making me want to scream and hide. Yazoo gave a chuckle of soft laughter at my reaction and allowed me to shuffle away, his jaw twitching in amusement.

"I wonder why Loz can bear your presence?" he cocked his head as he thought aloud and I stuttered, afraid he was going to kill me or something and wouldn't answer. The room became eerily silent and we remained in our positions; myself on the floor, shuffled so far away that my back was pressed against the wall, and Yazoo crouched on the floor close to where I had been. He laughed softly at my stark pale face and I buried my head into my arms, curling into an upright ball. I just wanted to be left alone!

"Ah, Loz always did like your kind more than us," he continued to chuckle quietly and I refused to look at him, my mind whirling from what he was saying. So Loz isn't quite like the other two… but in what way, I wasn't quite sure. Well, there was the fact he probably wouldn't kill me if I was a bit outspoken. He's nicer, I guess… I didn't want to think about it, or I could lead myself down avenues of thought that ruled that it was okay to be abducted and kept effectively as prisoner. Just because I was developing feelings for Loz I'd rather pretend didn't exist, though they were creeping up on me every day, didn't mean it was alright to snatch people.

"I want to be alone," I said in barely a whisper, not expecting Yazoo to even hear. Yet his blue-green eyes that were identical to Loz's gleamed from the shadows cast by his silver hair falling across his face. I knew he had heard, his head immediately tipped to the side with an expression of interest. I shied away from the look, turning my head to stare at the bare wall, but still watching him out of the corner of my eye. I was beginning to regret saying that, but the hiss of Yazoo expelling air did not sound harsh or derisive, more thoughtful.

"Hmm… I think I am beginning to see why Loz takes an interest in you. Do not worry, although I was part of the plan in capturing you, I feel no desire toward you. I doubt Kadaj will make any moves upon you either. Loz appears reluctant to… share you," he said, a knife thin smile gracing his lips. It looked unpleasant and his words chilled me as I faced him again.

"Share me?" I asked warily and Yazoo's eyes glimmered with the kind of dark amusement I knew I wouldn't share at all. His hands rested on his bent knees, not looking ungainly in such an awkward position, but graceful. I hated it.

"We were going to share you, but I have no desire to mesh with humans while Kadaj… has other things to attend to," he twisted his smile and let it fall away. I shivered and frowned, not wanting to think what could have happened if they had of wanted to see me and began to feel sick. The thing that irked me the most was that if Yazoo were a regular guy, I could have pounded him into the ground, made him beg with the use of my razorblades. But when I looked at myself, I was just a curled up wretch, pathetically wishing Yazoo away and unable to make it come true under my own power.

Yazoo stood and straightened his shoulders before looking down at me, his face expressionless, almost dreamy.

"I am going to leave you now," he announced, "and I advise you to clean yourself up, instead of hunching yourself so. Loz does not like to implement physicality on you. Do not bother trying to escape; it is pointless and I find it rather boring."

He turned on his heel and left the house, purposely grinding the keys in their locks as he left each room. I swear he did it just to antagonise me and I snarled at the locked door before standing and crossing the room to give the door a kick. At least Loz gave me a free reign of the house. I felt so angry that I was powerless; the anger swirled and surged in my body until it became a desperate rage and I yelled futilely at the ceiling. I think I just needed to get some pent up feelings out, because I felt numbly drained afterwards and slumped into a huddle. Tiredness made me rest for a while, but I kept Yazoo's words in mind. I didn't like the sound of being forced to look half decent appealing at all.

Eventually I picked myself up and headed to the bathroom. Making sure I was shut in, which was foolish really because there was no lock, I peered into the mirror to see a withdrawn pale face stare back. My eyes briefly caught the white flower Loz had given me in the former toothbrush cup. It still looked beautiful. I actually missed the bastard, I had to admit. Biting my lip I turned back to the mirror. Did I always look like this? It felt a little odd that I couldn't remember if I had always looked like this, but I just shook it off and hurriedly turned the shower on. Looking about to check I hadn't been sneaked up upon, which was a bit ridiculous considering what a small, creaky kind of room the bathroom was, and stripped. I folded my clothes and neatly placed them in the corner near the towels and firmly decided that I was going to relax and enjoy this shower.

* * *

It had been almost two days and I was getting more and more agitated with every day without Loz around. Yazoo had paid me short visits each morning, dropping off some food this morning with an exceptionally mysterious smile, as if he knew something I did not. It only served to antagonise me, I'm sure, but still it niggled at me an hour later as I prepared to take a shower. I hoped the warm water would soothe my back since I had to sleep on the hard wooden floorboards of my room each night. Yazoo was perfectly well aware what was going on between Loz and I, but always locked the doors so I couldn't access the bedroom and get a decent night's rest. I'm sure he enjoyed the thought of me unable to sleep properly. Always with that knowing smile that drove me insane.

The bathroom called to me and I picked out a clean set of clothes before entering to examine my face again in the mirror. An even more tired and drawn face than two days ago. I looked sleep deprived and stressed. Being trapped in this house was bad enough, but alone made it even worse. And as the days went by, I found myself missing Loz's company and those feelings I was trying to bury were surfacing when there was nothing left to cover them with.

I loved that bastard and it was conflicting with all those thoughts I thought I should be having. I should hate him, but I don't. I could never tell him how I felt, surely… surely he would laugh in my face. It would make me look… so weak and desperate, but he drove me to it! It's his fault!

No, I was just lonely right now. I needed to get my thinking straight. My muscles were aching and I was tired and today was a little on the chilly side to depress me further. My mind briefly flitted to speculating how Loz felt about me, using the trip to the cinema as evidence that I wasn't just an object for his use at least, but it was too painful. There was too much rejection potentially involved in this whole messed up situation; rejection I couldn't take without wanting to die.

I pulled away from the mirror and tiredly stripped, placing my clothes neatly to the side and hopping in the shower. The warm water cascading over me was a welcomed relief as I felt my muscles loosen and allow the incredible tension that had been building up in me dissipate a little. For some minutes I let my troublesome thoughts drift away and found myself feeling better about myself than I had in some days. So naturally I was surprised and somewhat annoyed when it was shattered by the noise of movement outside the bathroom.

I heard the door open and I shrieked, backing into the wall and staring at the silhouette behind the shower curtain. I cringed at the freezing cold tiles against my back, but refused to move, instead vainly staring at the curtain to make out the figure. Surely not Yazoo, who had made it clear he didn't like much contact with 'normal' people?

"I'm back! Thought I'd let you know," the voice of Loz came from the shadow and I popped my head around the shower curtain looking as mad as I could. It wasn't hard considering his intrusion into this bathroom where I'm _naked_!

"Sure fine, you can look at me when… when… but you can't when I'm in the bathroom showering! Go away!" I yelled and Loz stared back at me impassively, making me even angrier. He grinned and then laughed like I'd said the funniest thing he'd ever heard. I pouted and yelled at him, waving a water soaked arm at him, but all he did was grab it and pull me toward him. I gasped, but was shut up when he pressed his lips to mine with force. All I could do was batter him with my other arm, then hastily cover myself up and pull back behind the shower curtain.

"So, yeah, like I said… thought I'd let you know," he said with clear amusement in his voice, then left. After the door shut with a click I breathed a sigh of relief and then collected myself for a moment before returning to my shower.

"The nerve…" I muttered as I climbed out, making sure a towel was secured around me. After I was dried and dressed, I bounded out of the bathroom with a newfound energy. My heart felt lighter with the knowledge Loz was back. It was stupid, but I was happy to see him. I walked into the bedroom for the first time in days to see Loz standing there undoing what I'd come to understand was called the Dual Hound. He tossed it onto the bed and I practically threw myself at him, my arms wrapping tight around his waist and sliding up his back. It was… so good to feel him again after being so isolated.

Loz looked down at me with some confusion, but held on tight to me. He leaned down and his lips soon found mine. He didn't grab my jaw or force his kiss on me; I welcomed it, allowing our tongues to mingle passionately. Some minutes later we pulled apart and Loz watched my face with a hint of confused wonderment.

"It's good to see you too," he said with a smile and I managed a smile before burying my head into his chest. It was so good to be in his company compared to Yazoo's less than friendly conversation. I had nearly forgotten his quirky ways that were endearing him to me. Eventually I let go of Loz and he watched me intently, with some tinge of fascination that made me redden slightly. He was staring at me again – that disturbingly open way that barely acknowledged that I was there, but seemed to appreciate me. It made me feel strange that he would look at me like that.

"So… where did you go?" I asked and Loz shrugged, avoiding my gaze and sitting on the edge of the bed instead. I joined him and refused to let this topic go unanswered. I didn't endure these past few days of complete boredom for nothing. A small smile appeared on my face as I realised I could feel myself returning to a semblance of myself. I'd been so wound up and now I felt like my old self… so much better.

"I just had some business to deal with. Nothing to concern you," he assured me, but he still avoided looking at me. It seemed Loz hadn't come back as cheerful as when he left. I sidled up closer to him, still relishing human contact like it was a new toy.

"But it does concern me. I want to know why I got locked in my room for two torturous days with no-one but myself as company, save Yazoo's visits, which were less than pleasant," I retorted, annoyed that he wasn't opening up to me. I wanted to know!

Loz faced me suddenly, his eyes searching my face for something. He took my shoulders in his large hands to hold me still and stop me from turning my head away like I wanted to. I had no idea what was going on when he finally voiced a question that left me a little surprised.

"Yazoo didn't… do anything to you, did he?" His eyes pierced mine and I sucked in a breath.

"No… nothing. He just spoke a little and gave me some food before locking me in my room. It was hell, you know. I had to sleep on the floor," I whined a little and Loz relaxed, releasing my shoulders and stood. I watched him pace around restlessly, his eyes trained on anything but me.

"Good," he said firmly with an air of possessiveness in his tone. That possessive nature of Loz always made me wonder if he was jealous in some way. Did he really think Yazoo would do something to me, because Yazoo really didn't seem to like me, let alone want touch me if he could help it.

"Where did you go?" I persisted and Loz sighed, clearly becoming irritated and finally faced me. His eyes were bordering on sealing his emotions away, but still a glimmer of frustration was burning away. It was like he wanted to tell me all kinds of things, but… didn't have the words, or he shouldn't tell me. Something was keeping him from talking to me and I wanted to break it.

"I had to travel out of the city somewhere else for a while and sort a few things out. Don't worry about it, Neriah. Now stop questioning me," he finished finally, crossing his arms and I stood, my anger flaring. I decided to drop the questioning since he was becoming more agitated, but that didn't stop me from stomping over and trying to force his arms down. I hated it when he crossed his arms and blocked me out like that. Of course, I couldn't do it, but the attempt was indication enough of my anger. I glowered up at him and he looked down at me with a small smile.

"So here we are again. Am I going to get another slap this time?" he asked me and I rolled my eyes and tried pulling at his arms again.

"Stop it," I commanded and I tugged as hard as I could and he suddenly dropped his arms away and pulled me close, pressing his lips down on mine. It wasn't exactly forceful, but… passionate. My mind froze in a whirl of emotions and I responded with my own kiss. I couldn't tell him what I felt when I didn't know what this was to him. I… I've never been good at rejection, so to take such a step as telling him how I feel… it would break me up inside just to tell, let alone if he did laugh in my face.

We separated again and Loz peered at me again.

"Are you alright?"

I turned my head away briefly and stepped away from him, his closeness unwanted by my body in the face of what I was feeling. I wrapped my arms around myself and sat myself back on the edge of the bed before I looked at him again.

"Fine," I lied and he saw through me, I'm sure from that expression, but let it lie.

I had to tell him how I felt, or at least test or find out some way how he felt or I was going to die from emotional stress if this wasn't sorted out. I… just needed the right words to say. My musings and pent up frustration made me lose track of the world around me and I remained in place, lost in my thoughts.

I needed to somehow tell the man who had formed all these bonds to imprison me, that I was no longer a prisoner, but something else. How could I tell him that his bonds didn't detain me, but nurtured me and made me feel loved?

Only the cool silent night would tell.


	9. Bonds

AN: I'd just like to thank all the reviewers who supported me. Thank guys, you really make writing worthwhile when I feel down. Cheers.

**Chapter Nine: Bonds**

It was night. I had slept here so many nights now… so many, it was scary to look back and not be able to count exactly how long it had been. And I felt so disorientated, the main source of my confusion stemming from the man next to me. And what of this man, if he truly was one, considering his unusual abilities?

I was chained to this man; not by any physical means, though I suppose his taking of my body counts, only an emotional bond he refuses to let go of. And myself? I don't know… I desperately want to be free, but… I also wish to stay by his side, now. My life here doesn't bother me like it did in the beginning. I knew I was starting to feel more at home, and it concerned me, but now… I really did see it as a kind of home, which frightened me. Maybe I would stay by his side even to the end of this foolish endeavour, in 'our home'. If he drags me into battle to fight, though, I will not; I would rather die rather than attack what I perceive to be the side of good, the right side. Kadaj is wrong.

Loz thinks not, still holding true to Kadaj's talks of truth, justice, the fate of children and power to Jenova, the abomination that left us with the Geostigma that haunts us today.

And I hate it and stupidly love him, and I do not know if he loves me back and it _hurts_ so much to think that. If he took my body, and held onto it as he is doing at the moment and then throws me away, I will swear vengeance; one he shall regret. I do not care if he thinks I'm too weak to harm him; I will find a way and make him pay in blood. But I'm getting ahead of myself as he still holds me and I wonder every night I am with him what he is thinking, what he plans to do with me. Has he even thought that far ahead, does he even care? …Does he love me? I'm scared of answering the questions, scared that I will have to undergo a pilgrimage of endurance and pain in order to attain the vengeance I have vowed, should he discard me.

_So scared…_

Instinctively, I reached out into the dark and my hands came into contact with Loz's bare muscled chest, which made me shiver and recoil. I didn't know he was even awake until large hands encased mine, bringing them back to rest on his chest and I gasped as I detected his eyes glimmering in the faint moonlight that barely highlighted our faces. My mouth gaped and he leaned forward so I could see his features better and his expression was a questioning one that sent shivers down my spine.

"What's with you?" he gruffly asked and I couldn't do anything, feeling like I was frozen, unable to even move or make a sound. Loz frowned and continued to watch me, though not like a cat watches a mouse as he used to, instead I noticed a trace of concern in that face, making me want to cry and pull him tight to me. It's sad the joy I get from such a tiny gesture, one I don't even know means anything.

"Neriah?" he asked with a slightly harder tone in his voice and I felt myself jerk into motion. I could not talk to him, could not face this man. To avoid anymore speech with him I turned so my back faced him, hoping he would let it be, but inside knowing this would do nothing to deflect his questions when he wanted answers.

Loz took my arm and pulled me back so I laid on my back, but not harshly, just enough force to make me at least see him in the corner of my eye. Instinctively, I pulled the covers higher, as if to protect me. He put a hand under my chin, but did nothing like jerking it to force me to face him.

"Look at me," he commanded in that low voice. He didn't need to tug me about; his voice could make me jump through hoops, should he desire it now. I wondered again whether I really was a captive in this house anymore. Some of our actions and behaviour and talks… they sounded like something normal people have, not captors and captives. We were acting like some kind of _couple_. Nervously, my head turned to the right to face him and his eyes burned into mine, making me stomach squirm. I didn't want to face this, or confess my feelings. To know he didn't care after all I had endured would break me.

"What is it?" he asked more firmly and I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn't articulate my thoughts, not wanting to divulge to him what had been going on in my head. But Loz is dominant and controlling when he wanted to be and I could never escape him, his will and strength too strong for me when applied like it was now. What Loz wants from me, he gets, but he will laugh in my face should I admit that after all he has done to me, I love him and want him to love me back. He will laugh hardest at me wishing he would love me. It sickened me to think that, but from what I could tell, it may well have been the truth.

"Loz, I… I was just thinking. That's all." I tried to pacify him, but I couldn't conceal the shake in my voice and cursed myself for it. Loz let go of my chin, but still watched me like a hawk, prying me open simply with his eyes.

"What about?" he continued his questions and I lowered my head, unable to hold his gaze any longer, preferring instead to stare at his chest. I gulped a few breaths, and a few tears back, before shakily opening my mouth and wishing that this wasn't happening.

"Loz… I was thinking about, well I was scared. I was scared because I…" I broke off, unable to say it right out like that. I needed to tell him, even if he did laugh or throw me out or whatever went on in that head of his. I had to say it, but the fear of rejection was unbelievably great and heavy on my heart. It also weighed my mind that this way how I was feeling towards my captor – that it was wrong and shouldn't be this way. But this was my lot in life and hopefully it'll all work out in the end. It should never have started this way – perhaps it should never have started at all – but I could at least hope it would end right.

"I… I love you, Loz. And I'm terrified of that and I-I'm terrified you don't love me too. I'm garbage to you," I confessed, tears coursing down my face, across the bridge of my nose and onto the pillow. I couldn't bear to look at his reaction, keeping my eyes down and just wishing he would leave me alone to cry in peace.

But he didn't. He placed his hand beneath my chin and this time did not command me to look ay him, instead gently tipping my face up to look at him. What I saw there was a completely indecipherable expression that made me want to run. I didn't know what that look meant, it was blank, but his eyes burned into me as if he couldn't believe I thought that and his mouth twitched as if he wanted to say something.

"Neriah, do you think I would allow garbage to lie next to me every night? Do you think I would make love to what I perceived as trash?" he demanded, his gaze intensifying and I stopped crying out of fear of punishment and gave him a wide-eyed stare.

"No," I quietly replied and Loz let go of my chin, satisfied.

"Then you have your answer," he brusquely informed me and went to turn away, but some emotional madness took over and I found myself reaching for his arm and making him turn to face me again. He frowned slightly, but it faded in favour of watching me patiently, if only to see what I would do.

"What does this mean?" I whispered and his eyes softened as his hand reached up and gently caressed my cheek in a way I didn't think was possible coming from him.

"Neriah… you were chosen, not picked out of the trash. You are… special. I…" and for the first time, Loz seemed unable to talk. My heart leapt, hoping beyond hope that he felt for me like I did for him. Loz's eyes dropped down, before meeting mine again, without the same incredible intensity he had used before.

"What do you see before you, Neriah?" he suddenly changed the subject and my lips parted slightly, before I regained my composure and answered him.

"I see a man. A man who I think was maybe lonely because he was different," I paused, realising how this was all beginning to fit together, and my heart skipped a few beats, "and he wanted someone who was like him. Different. Special. And I was chosen. B-but, I was scared, and I still am… but I can't leave you now, because the man I see before me chose me and I c-can't leave…" I heaved in a breath, unable to talk any longer and Loz looked at me for a long moment. I realised how unhappy he began to look and, slowly, he inched his face closer to mine.

"Neriah… I love you," he whispered and with that, he slowly kissed me, his tongue sliding into my mouth with ease and his arms winding around me and me tightly to him as if he could never let me go. All I could do was weakly wrap my arms around his neck and return his kiss with the same passion. Everything around faded until all that was left was us.

* * *

Neriah was snuggled close to Loz, her head laying on his bare shoulder, her soft breaths gently tickling his neck. Resting on his broad shoulders always reassured Neriah, her left hand stretched across and placed on his other shoulder. Loz had finally admitted it; he loved her. But what could he do about it? He was locked into the trio and the plan had to go forward. After that, the plan may have already gone forward and the second coming of Sephiroth may already be in motion.

Loz drew in a breath and made sure his arms were secure around Neriah's lithe form, his hands resting on her back. He felt like he was quickly losing control of the situation; before he'd always had the power of her doubt on his feelings for her, but now she knew the truth he'd lost all power over her. Loz had wondered on many an occasion why she was so afraid of him when he'd done nothing to hurt her. He was strong, sure, but he never exercised any of his brute power on her, never.

She must have been pretty intimidated all this time, he decided, and felt bad that he involved her in this entire mess. On the other hand, if he hadn't, where would they have been? He certainly wouldn't be here, his lover in his arms, feeling content to lie with her for an eternity, but also the thought of dealing with his brothers made Loz want to punch a wall until it was dust.

A new future could be created, he was sure. If he was going to alter his future, the only thing he knew he wanted in it for sure was Neriah. He had to make sure she never left his side again. From the way she was speaking though… that wasn't going to be hard, thankfully. He was glad that she loved him like he loved her. Lingering thoughts of being her captor graced his mind and he briefly wondered if she was just manipulating him so she could escape. No, it had been too real. What needed to be made now were plans for the future that ensured their safety together. His safety wasn't a problem, but if Kadaj and Yazoo found out too much of what was going on, Neriah could easily be put in jeopardy.

He wasn't going to allow that anytime soon.


	10. Explanation

AN: Thank you for the reviews – Kadaj, Sephiroth-Sama, Shojogirl1, SavE-My-SouL, NekoGuyFan and of course Fire's A Beautiful Sound - I'm really grateful to you all! Chapter Ten had some length issues which have mostly been worked out, but I still feel is a little on the short side. But, hey, that's me. I hope you like this. It's the end of part one of my three part tale. I hope the explanation isn't too… I don't know… peculiar. It's a strange tale, to say the least. Enjoy.

**Chapter Ten: Explanation **

The two of us had reached an understanding. It was a great relief to find we shared the same feelings for one another; anything less would have broken me, I think. Despite this understanding, questions pervaded. Namely the reason I had been abducted at the start of this fiasco. I wasn't sure whether I should find out the answer, but there was always that part of me that had to know; that curiosity that was going to get me killed, or at least damaged. It didn't stop me planning to ask Loz anyway.

I had to approach it in an unthreatening way, though.

Loz was sitting in the bedroom, legs crossed on the bed. Resting on a knee was the Dual Hound. I had no idea what he was doing, but it looked like he was tinkering with it somehow. He was half bent over it, an expression of concentration on his face. It didn't look like the best time to try and question him, but I couldn't put it off forever. I had really been putting the questions of this nature off since he first captured me.

With a brief squeeze of my fists, I steeled myself for a highly likely argumentative and emotional struggle and slowly meandered my way toward him. Had to remember to be unthreatening. From the way he fought those guys a short while back, I didn't want to get on his bad side. I mean… well, he confessed he loved me, sort of. But did it mean anything? I've known people who loved people without a thought for anything else, but it didn't mean they would protect them, or even refrain from hitting them. Was that even love, or merely obsession? People think it's love… maybe Loz thinks he loves me, but there's been no-one else around so… no, I don't want to contemplate it. I'm thinking too much, putting off what could only be an inevitable confrontation. If I'm lucky, he'll prove it to me in time. And if he doesn't, then I shall regret this whole situation indeed.

I had to ask him. My feet shuffled forward and bumped against the bottom of the bed. I winced from the brief shock of pain in my toes and the questioning expression on Loz's face. He tossed his Dual Hound up onto a pillow and slowly stood, stretching his broad shoulders and reminding me of how tall and imposing he could be, which didn't help me summon the strength to ask the fateful question.

"Hey. Are you alright? You look a little… weird," Loz asked, narrowing his eyes as he scrutinised my face, which I turned away from him. My mind screamed to ask, just spit it out and face what I must. Slowly, I forced myself to face him once more, my composure on a knife-edge. My mind wanted to scream, tear, crack, but no way was I going to break down pathetically. I had to remain strong, resolute – I had to ask him face to face!

My eyes locked with his and I noticed that he hadn't missed the mental struggle I seemed to be suffering before his eyes, which had narrowed. I couldn't tear my eyes away, so I took a deep breath before diving into a situation I just knew I was going to hate.

"Loz… why did you capture me in the first place?" my voice quivered a little, but I kept it mostly under control. Why me? What was I needed for? The idea that the trio had a purpose for me sent a shiver down my spine; especially after my less than pleasant encounters with Kadaj and Yazoo.

He watched my face with those intense blue-green eyes as I struggled to remain composed, but it was difficult when desperation was rising within me. I had to know _why_.

"We are related in an obscure way to Sephiroth," he began and I frowned, my mouth dropping open. Why didn't I see the resemblance before of that man who had wrought havoc across the world? The Great General of Midgar, our hero for a time. Silver hair… those eyes… I shut my mouth and listened on.

"We're not as strong as he was, but we're tough. Very tough. I think you think that Kadaj, Yazoo and I have always been together, but it was true when I said I grew up in a village. Us three are remnants of the Jenova Project," he explained and my brows creased slightly. I noticed how he wasn't meeting my eyes; anytime I tried to get him to look at me, he looked elsewhere. He's either hiding something from me, or maybe it's painful to talk about. Loz didn't look happy to admit he wasn't as strong as Sephiroth – I did pick up a slight amount of bitterness, but why? How many people could be as strong as Sephiroth was? It had surprised me that Loz and the other two were linked to such a big event – General Sephiroth's madness. The Jenova Project further piqued my interest.

"The Jenova Project? They did a big documentary on that and Shinra after Meteor. A professor called Hojo injecting people with alien cells, right? It said that Sephiroth had been injected and showered with mako while still in the womb," I said, my eyes widening. Loz and the others were the same? I took a seat on the bed, pulled my legs up and wrapped my arms around my knees so all you could see were my eyes peering at Loz. Silently, he sat down beside me and looked up listlessly at the ceiling before slowly focusing on the door facing him across the room.

"Yeah, you got it. Jenova is our mother – she gave birth to our powers. After Sephiroth was a success, he tried it to other pregnant women he lured into his project, telling them that it would make their babies strong and healthy. A lie, of sorts. However, only halfway through the procedure, the project was cut from Shinra's budget and the women were let go. Of course, the procedure sealed their deaths from mako poisoning and after giving birth, they died almost immediately from the strain of both birth and poisoning. That left us three."

"We were adopted into families around different areas of the Planet. I lived in a village not far from Gold Saucer and Gonaga, Yazoo lived in Icicle Inn, and Kadaj grew up in Mideel. I think that's why he's a little like he is – he saw what the Planet did to Mideel. He saw it destroyed before his very eyes by the Lifestream's upheaval," he took a deep breath and ran a hand absently through his hair, finally meeting my eyes.

"I didn't used to look like this either," a small smile tugged his lips when he saw the surprise I couldn't hide. So… he changed. This is too weird. I thought that I had been thrown into a strange and disturbing situation, but now the truth is coming out, I haven't even begun to plough these dark depths. This made me feel sick to my stomach – to think there was _more_ of this.

"Y-you didn't?" I replied and he shook his head, that smile still there. I let my legs down and shuffled closer to him and he wrapped an arm around my waist. I looked at it for a moment, but let it slide. It felt kind of comfortable.

"Nah, when I was young my hair was black. It wasn't until I was about ten when it started turning silver. I had been adopted into a lumberjack's family, which was lucky considering I grew up brawny. And at sixteen, I heard Mother for the first time. She told me all about my true heritage and encouraged me to find my brothers. I was instructed to destroy my village to show my dedication to Mother, but I resisted for a long time. For two years I held off her voice, a mistake now I look back. Eventually I gave in and did what I was told. The village isn't there anymore.

"So I set off and followed Mother's voice and she guided me to Yazoo and Kadaj. And we've been together ever since. Jenova's voice is more or less gone now – she talks to Kadaj most of all," he finished and I shifted out of his grasp and a little way from him. That's why Kadaj was like he was, I bet – it's Jenova's doing. I wasn't going to say this to him – he burnt his village down! He… he killed his adoptive parents. And he still hadn't told me why I was here.

"Why am I here?" I said softly, my head lowered. I didn't want to look at him when he told me – I was scared that he'd leer, or worse, be cold about my role in this whole fiasco.

"Neriah, we needed you for our grand design. We want a leader to help us lash back at the Planet for Geostigma. And Sephiroth is dead. So Kadaj was informed on how to create a second Sephiroth. If we were to have child and inject it with her cells – then a second Sephiroth would be possible. No mako showering would be needed since the father would already be a sort of pseudo-Sephiroth. Jenova allows us not to age like normal people, heal faster, move quicker and have incredible strength. We would teach the child of their heritage with the help of Jenova and strike back. You are to be the vessel for the child. We have been trying to recover Jenova's head for a while now," he explained in one long speech. The terrible thing was that he sounded so convinced – that he really bought into this stuff. I… I couldn't take what he was saying.

In an instant I snapped.

"You want me to be _what_!" I yelled, leaping off the bed in one fluid motion, "That's why you… you did all that stuff! Oh my – I can't believe this! I don't want to hear anything more!" I stumbled back into the double doors where my room was to find they were locked. Trapped.

"Let me out of here! I want to be alone!" I cried, my voice cracking as tears slid down my face. Was this what it was all about? I couldn't… I couldn't take it anymore. I was nothing but a vessel and nothing more, like a lover. Was what he said to me from last night a lie? I banged my arms against the doors in a pathetic attempt to get through and away from him, but it was pointless – they wouldn't budge.

And I hated the fact that you can't take back love. As much as I wanted to turn on him, berate him, hate him… I couldn't. It was only made even worse by the fact that now with this revelation, I wasn't even sure if Loz had lied. I thought he hadn't but… maybe I was wrong. Perhaps I had been wrong all along. And it made me feel so small and painfully helpless.

He came up behind me and his large arms wrapped around my waist, drawing me close to him. I felt his breath against my head as he leant his head down until his lips brushed my neck.

"I meant every word of last night. I've been attracted to you from the moment I laid eyes on you during that gang speech. That's why you've only ever really been around me – I wouldn't let the other two near you," he murmured close to my right ear and I recalled what Yazoo had said to me when Loz had left all of a sudden.

"… That's what Yazoo meant… he said he felt no desire toward me and that you were reluctant to 'share' me…" I said faintly, my anger fading to be replaced with resignation. I wasn't getting away. Loz's words comforted me quite a bit though and I relaxed slightly against him. Give Loz an inch and he'll take a mile, as he began devouring my neck and tightening his grip on my waist, roaming upwards.

"Stop," I commanded and he relinquished my waist, but still kept close enough so I couldn't escape him.

"I'm sorry. Neriah, I'm stuck. I love you and don't want to hurt you, but I have to follow through with the plan. I'll talk to Yazoo, but I won't mention too much – it could endanger both of us. Give it some time, okay?" he said soothingly and I shakily sighed and finally let it go. I'll give him some time and see where this leads since I'm trapped in a corner either way. It's strange to find myself actually trusting Loz in this situation. Trust, after all this, is precious. I told myself I trusted him, but deep down something still stirred uncertainly and didn't really trust anyone.

Faith in Midgar had been dead since before I had been born. That's why Midgar has gangs fighting for control amongst themselves; why the people had been resigned to the fate Shinra had laid out for them; why when Meteor came, we barely fought to live as our city came tumbling down around our ears. Only when Shinra had been lost power and Meteor had been destroyed did the people of Midgar find their voices again and finally begin their path to power and perhaps could one day begin to trust and have faith again. I was only one of an entire city of people who found themselves unable to trust. I kept thinking that Loz could prove my trust to me by keeping me safe. If… if he kept me safe, then my trust could grow. One day I could truly rely on Loz and put my full trust in him. For now, though, I briefly glanced at Loz and felt his warm breath still tickled my neck. His blue-green eyes watched me intently and I finally found my voice and answer.

"Okay," I said and found myself feeling unbelievably tired. The emotional stress was too much for one day. I turned and finally faced Loz, who watched me with a mixture of concern and his usual calmer demeanour. In his eyes all was right with the world for now, I suppose, whereas mine had been turned upside down.

We had reached a severe stumbling block and survived, yet still I felt worried and ill at ease with what was happening. Things had been set in motion behind my back and now I was aware of the situation, it only made things more tentative. Life had just become a lot more complicated than the convoluted life I had already been living with Loz. If Loz couldn't stop these plans, then my life would change into something I wasn't even sure I ever wanted. Who had the right to bring a child in to this shambles of a world?

Future plans had to be made to see me through this, and Loz's decision was going to prove to be the deciding factor in how my plans were going to turn out. Whether for better or worse, back then, I was yet to find out.

**End of Part One: Past Mistakes**


	11. Injury

AN: Thank you to all who reviewed me - I'm really grateful!

**P a r t T w o: Future Plans**

**Chapter Eleven: Injury**

Loz started his day in a pretty good mood until he realised his was going to have to leave and get to some business before Kadaj noticed that he was taking all the pleasures and becoming more and more reluctant to do all the dirty work for their cause. He hadn't checked in with the other two for over a week now and he was sure if he didn't pay a visit to them, he was sure to have them turn up unannounced any time soon. He briefly ground his teeth before getting out of bed and heading to the bathroom.

Ten minutes later he was out of dilapidated house and strolling down the street. It was quite a beautiful morning; the low, fresh dawn light reflecting off the buildings that were slowly but surely being constructed. The light gushed down the streets and Loz resisted the urge to shield his eyes, instead purposefully setting course to his compatriot's headquarters. He noted to himself that he needed to pick up some food or Neriah would starve and eyed a makeshift convenience store as he leisurely walked by.

The headquarters was in its usual half destroyed condition as Loz stepped through a large hole in the wall and peered into the dim light with his enhanced sight to see Yazoo sitting in the dark. He appeared to be in his constant state of contemplation, but Loz didn't care if he interrupted the man, walking up to the younger man and pushing him lightly in the shoulder.

"I did see you, Loz," Yazoo said softly and Loz gave the man a gruff slap on the back.

"Hey, Yazoo. Everything alright here?" he asked in a low voice, taking a quick glance around in the gloom for a sign of Kadaj. Yazoo lifted his identical blue-green eyes with an expression of a man tired with life and Loz wished he could somehow save himself, Neriah and Yazoo from the destinies in Kadaj and Jenova's great scheme. He wasn't sure how much more Yazoo could take, but he was sure there was more strength within the lithe body of the young man. Of course he knew eventually something had to give, he just hoped it was Kadaj. Loz had never played around with thought's like that before – he never hoped that Kadaj would break, and with it his plan but… things had changed over time. Since their trio had formed, Loz prayed to any force that could possibly exist that they would fail, and with it bring he and Neriah's freedom.

Yazoo watched Loz's face in his frozen state of thought and recognised the signs of a man wishing to desert instantly. With a soft sigh, Yazoo stood and shook his head, breaking Loz's concentration. Yazoo would not tell anybody of what he saw in Loz. His perceptiveness was not wasted though, he assured himself. There was a time and place for all, he believed, and it was neither his time to divulge what he saw in Loz's heart, nor Loz's time to confess his feelings.

"Kadaj is unwell again. He threw a violent fit last night and has been resting ever since. His power grows, Loz, but his body weakens and his mind… I couldn't say. It is closed to all, save Jenova," Yazoo said quietly, his eyes wandering to the next room where Kadaj was and Loz followed his gaze to the rotting wooden door.

"He'll be up soon, I'm betting," Loz said a little darkly, but Yazoo ignored it and straightened his posture, asserting a more businesslike manner.

"Kadaj gave me some instructions to pass on to you," Yazoo announced and Loz felt his heart sink, "He told me to say this: 'We need results soon, Loz. Plans are moving into action and the vessel should only take half the gestation time. She needs to help us with some of the tasks, to bond her to us. If she is as good as you say she is, then she can help.' That was all. He was adamant she should be insinuated into our trio. With Kadaj's impatience, I recommend that she helps you fight soon. A matter of a week at most."

Loz nodded, his heart heavy and wished he had avoided the other two. But he knew to do that would mean suspicions would be raised and he would lose Neriah. He said goodbye and departed for the convenience store, leaving Yazoo to return to his thoughtful daydreaming of times past.

The sun had asserted itself higher in the sky and now the wonderful milky quality of the dawn light had faded into more practical, if less beautiful, light. Loz almost made it to the store when he was distracted by an exceptionally angry yell.

He barely turned his head before he saw Cloud charge, sword out, and dived out of the way, fluidly rolling to his feet. In an instant, he was checking his Dual Hound, which he couldn't have been happier to see on his arm. He didn't even notice he had put it on; it had become such a habit to keep it equipped.

"You!" Cloud yelled, slashing where Loz had just stood before spinning to face his enemy. Loz had never intended to become entangled in a fight against Cloud; he'd only meant to grab some food, or Neriah would starve. But he would not back down from this man, who so rashly decided to force battle.

In an instant, the two clashed, Loz's Dual Hound defending against Cloud's unforgiving sword blows. Loz could feel himself charging up, his inhuman speed only a breath away. But before he could sprint from the conflict, Cloud's sword stabbed wildly with uncontrolled rage and partially found its mark in Loz's side.

The wound had caught Loz off guard, but he showed no outward signs to Cloud that it had bothered him in the least; a leer hanging on his face as he stood facing Cloud, his Dual Hound primed ready to go again.

"You're inhuman, just like Sephiroth," Cloud taunted and Loz's eyes flickered to Cloud's blue ones before the silver haired man shrugged his broad shoulders and turned around. He was not going to deal with this in this condition or for no good reason.

"See you about, spiky hair," he said offhandedly and Cloud growled, making Loz give a faint grin as he disappeared into a network of alleyways. Once Loz was certain he was alone, he slid down a wall and cursed Strife with a vengeance. The wound hurt a like hell and he saw some blood ooze lazily from the gash in his left side.

He needed to get home.

* * *

Loz entered the house not in his usual self-assured manner, but slightly hunched, his head down looking at his left Dual Hound ensconced hand clutching his side. He stumbled slightly, making my eyes go wide with surprise. I had never seen Loz stumble in his life and this immediately sent alarm bells ringing in my head. I had only been up for perhaps half an hour, wondering where Loz had got to. Really, there was nothing else to do but wonder.

I got up from the bed and watchfully approached him, but he ignored me as he focused on unlatching his Dual Hound from his arm and tossing it onto the edge of the bed he drew near and climbed on. I followed him, wondering what the hell was wrong until I caught a glimpse of what lay beneath his left hand and nearly screamed. A large bloody gash just peeked from where his leather outfit had been cleanly cut with what I presumed to be a sword. Dried blood crusted the edges of the rip in his clothes and I dashed over to him, jumping onto the bed beside him as he curled up on his side.

"Loz! What on the Planet happened?" I gasped, lowering my head to try and look at his face, but he stubbornly closed his eyes and tucked his head lower to his chest to avoid me. I sighed in annoyance and gently placed my hand under his chin, stroking his jaw with a thumb to try and get him to respond.

"A man got the best of me," was all he would say and I frowned, desperate to help him. I never thought I would feel so compelled to help Loz if this had been the beginning of our weird relationship, but here we are with me desperate to aid him.

"There must be something in the bathroom that might help you," I decided aloud and went to get off the bed, but an iron grip encased wrist and I looked down to find Loz's slightly bloodied hand was gripping onto me. He still wouldn't look at me in his arched position, but I could see the expression on his face was pained and frustrated at the same time.

"Don't bother with me, Neriah. Jenova will see to it that I'm healed. A day at most and I'll be fighting fit," he grumbled, still curled up on the bed and I frowned, my face crumpling as I fought from either hitting him or crying.

"I don't want you healed by Jenova!" I protested and those slit pupils finally opened and slid to my dark eyes with an air that no matter what I said they would remain unaffected.

"It doesn't matter what you think. Jenova will still repair me; that's how it's always been," he told me gently and I drew in several emotion laden breaths before reaching toward him, caressing his cheek, and then unzipping his leather top. He carefully watched me as I pulled at him a little roughly to roll the skin-tight outfit off his broad shoulders. I needed to see that wound! I became driven; tugging his top off down his arms until I had managed to strip him to his waist. I tossed his top onto the floor before surveying the wound at hand.

The gash looked pretty gruesome, deep and bloody, but I could already see signs that it was beginning to heal and my heart sank as I realised that this was Jenova's work at hand. Still, being pretty stubborn myself, I stomped to the bathroom and grabbed a couple of towels, dampening one before returning. Loz had curled up again, head partially obscured by being tucked so low on his chest, making sure I couldn't access his wound and I growled under my breath. I saw a small smile peek from his mouth and huffed, tugging uselessly at his left arm clamped over the wound.

"Come on, don't be a baby!" I exasperatedly exclaimed and then grappled his face, pulling it towards mine. His eyes went wide with surprise, but then closed and I inwardly grinned as he relaxed slightly. My hand gently moved his left one away from the wound and I struck, pulling away from his lips and straddling his legs. Before he could cover his wound again, I pressed the damp towel to it. It must have felt better because he relaxed even more and I smiled sweetly, making Loz roll his eyes and then chuckle.

"Okay, it should be cleaned up, I guess. But I won't enjoy it," he groused and I moved off him so I sat beside the wound, still pressing the towel to the injury. I began to delicately wipe the blood from the gash and he gave a shudder, making me stop. I'd never seen Loz in pain before, so I wasn't sure what to expect from him. Violence, perhaps? Well, apparently not from the way he was behaving. He just appeared to be really reluctant to receive help, hell-bent on letting it heal itself. Wilful idiot.

"Shut up," I commanded and to my surprise, he fell silent, taking his usual method of watching me to the limits; his eyes never left my face and I could feel my face burning to the attention as I dabbed the blood away. Once clean, I dried it with the dry towel and sat back to look at Loz looking at me.

"What?" I near snapped, but I was feeling kind of tired and by then past caring. Loz shook his head as if I was a nut case and carefully touched the tender flesh from his torn skin, his eyes resting on it with a slight wince before flickering back to me.

"Thanks. I didn't know you had it in you to order me around," he said with a mild smile. He looked tired more than anything else and I realised that I wasn't exactly awake; it seemed all my energy had been focused on cleaning Loz up.

I stifled a yawn and felt Loz's arms take mine and draw me down beside him. I rested my head next to his, not risking hurting him, but he brusquely tugged me so I was half on top of him and I looked at him to see him seem content. I manoeuvred myself until I was on his right hand side and well away from that gash before relaxing. Still he watched me in that way that made my face redden.

"Why do you bother helping me? If it wasn't for me, you'd be free." He shocked me with his sudden words. I was so surprised I sat up and nearly smashed my head into his jaw. Loz's eyes widened, surprised by my actions and I felt my heart fluttering in a panic attack kind of way. It was unpleasant and made my breath tighten in my throat.

"I-I would," I managed to say, but my thoughts were already tumbling back to before I had been taken. My heart panged at the thought of the people I knew thinking I was dead.

"I'm sorry I brought this up, but I don't think I deserve your aid. If you want to be alone, I understand," he said, but the last thing I wanted was to be alone. I wanted him by my side while I slept. I didn't want to face the world for a time, or reflect on my life. My heart calmed when I aligned myself next to Loz and laid my head on his shoulder while my hand rested on his chest.

For now, I merely ignored reality and prayed I could remain in my warped dream world just a little longer.


	12. Discovery

AN: I have seen Advent Children and it rocks! However, I must note that my story should probably come under AU now and does not follow the events of the film exactly, since I started writing this long before I saw the film (which was awesome, just to carry on). Please enjoy and I thank my reviewers – each review makes my day!

**Chapter Twelve: Discovery**

Kadaj knew victory was close. His mind swirled with proud feelings of grandeur; his ideas – no, Mother's ideas – were working like a charm. But there could be complications if he couldn't do what Mother asked. If he failed… a shudder went through the teenager's body and he went to his knees in his headquarters. His body felt strong, but sometimes it gave out. Usually when Mother spent too much time whispering in his head. Always whispering. She said it was because she was far away, but her mental touch could feel like a blow to his head at times.

"Mother… what am I to do? Loz and Yazoo are looking under the Midgar monument for you, but what if you're not there?" Kadaj noticed his voice wavered, as if unsure whether he was talking to himself or not.

The reply was brutal; a shock of consciousness directly to his brain. Kadaj's body stiffened as if rigor mortis had gripped him, but then the convulsions began for a short time, then it was gone. Kadaj panted, the toll on his body high again, and slumped onto the cold hard concrete. He wished Mother was more gentle when she showed him things, yet he understood her impatience – she wanted to be reunited with her children, Sephiroth especially. Kadaj wasn't sure what lurked underneath his skin, but at times he could feel a shivery stirring within him. It felt like a cold soul gliding through him, then gone. It drove him forward, the desire to know what was within him, to continue his mother's plans… it was his purpose and he did not want to fail.

"Thank you," he mumbled, recalling what she had uncaringly pumped into his mind. Darkness. A slight rocking around her and muffled sounds that were not understood. An intense feeling of floating in a sea that tasted of bile. Kadaj didn't know what to make of it and hated himself for not understanding. From what she conveyed, she couldn't possibly be under the monument, but it was too late to call the other two back now. Mother was somewhere small, from what she had been able to show him, and filled with liquid that tasted foul.

Kadaj was confused, but determined. And in intense pain. His limbs were aching and his head felt ready to haemorrhage any moment. With an aggrieved groan, he rolled onto his side into a ball and turned over Jenova's picture in his mind until consciousness was gone.

&&&&&&&&

Loz had left me to go enact one of their stupid plans and I was left to worry. I hadn't been well for the last week and fear was growing fast. If it was what I thought it was, I was in deep trouble and it would only be a matter of time before things fell apart. I was sitting on the bed, watching the lone wardrobe in the room which I never touched, but knew what was inside. Loz had left a small cache of Materia for me in case I was in dire trouble. He knew of my poor ability with them, so I could only cast one minor spell. I nervously stood and crossed the room, opening up the wardrobe to find the box that contained some low level materia and tapped my foot anxiously.

The Sense materia sat amongst some Ice and Bolt materia and I swallowed before picking it up and staring at it. It felt so smooth – it was such an unnatural thing to place in your arm, but I winced before pushing it into my skin and watching it melt into my arm with a horrified fascination.

The Sense materia glowed in my arm, a comforting golden yellow which I idly watched as the materia integrated with my flesh. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling, but it made my skin crawl somewhat. As I said – I was not particularly talented with materia; the Sense materia and a few low level spells was probably all I could manage without draining myself of energy.

I was scared – no, petrified – about using Sense on myself to see what was going on. A part of me inside just _knew_ it wasn't going to be good news, but a nagging feeling in my mind persisted until I couldn't stand to not know anymore. I had to use it and see before I lost the nerve. My arm wavered as I felt the Sense meld with my tissue; the strange sphere of hardness in my arm that radiated a gentle heat. I hated using materia with a passion, the whole process creeping me out. That's why I stuck to using a physical means of defending myself.

"Okay…" I said quietly, sucking in a shaky breath and staring at my arm with the yellow glow of Sense within it. I abruptly looked up and began to pace, trying to decide where I would use it. Sat on the floor… perhaps on the bed? I could stand and see, but if the news was bad then I would probably have my knees buckle on me. I kept trying to keep my breathing even, but the moment I thought about what I was about to do I began to hyperventilate.

Eventually, I opted to sit on the bed. I crawled onto it and sat cross-legged in the middle, my teeth biting into the inside of my lower lip until some salty blood trickled onto my tongue and I abruptly stopped.

"Sense," I whispered and the Sense materia flared for a moment before feeding the information into my head. It was a rush; I wasn't used to wielding magic so the information hit me like a brick to the head, rather than seeping into my consciousness with ease. It became too much for me and my vision began to darken around the edges. I strained to see, but darkness consumed me and I slumped onto the bed, unconscious.

&&&&&&&&

Loz had had enough of dealing with the foolish people trying to prevent himself and Yazoo from pulling down the Meteor monument. The children that were to be the new Sephiroth's guard were protecting the monument, but he had caught sight of those foolish Turks that still followed Rufus Shinra and instinctively ascertained that it would only be a matter of time before they intervened. In the meantime, he kept his sharp vision on the shouting protesters, glaring ferociously in a silent attempt to get them to back down.

"I think we should get rid of them before they decide to come closer, do you not agree, Loz?" Yazoo said calmly, surveying the scene with little interest. Loz could never get over how Yazoo never appeared to feel threatening in the face of danger, simply taking the situation to hand in a methodical, clinical manner. Loz never liked that lack of passion Yazoo seemed to have for everything he came across, save his comrades which he had a mild intrigue of. Loz had soon decided after months from what he'd gleaned from conversations with Yazoo that the man had nothing to live for anymore; with his past destroyed in the face of Jenova's powerful wishes, there was nothing left for him but Loz and Kadaj. They were all he had left to live for, and he wasn't even that interested in that.

"I believe this could be as good a time as any," Loz said with a steel edge to his voice; he always played his part as the inflexible heavy man in public. Neriah saw a softer side to him that befitted his old life before he got himself into this mess, but the side he was showing the people now was just as much him as him with Neriah. Everyone was made up of different facets; Loz just happened to like the facet he showed Neriah more than the one he was coldly displaying now.

He felt a slight chill as Yazoo smiled frostily and gave Loz a glance before turning to the crowd. The slender man raised a hand and the crowd watched to see what would happen. Dust gathered and in the intake of a breath, a creature leapt for one of the closer shouting men's throat. The crowd's scream swelled as they fought to back away and Yazoo chuckled before turning back to business.

"Shall we?" he asked, taking hold of one of the chains wrapped around the monument. Loz stood for a moment, watching the unfolding carnage as several of the dust creatures hunted the crowd down. He turned away to face the giant Meteor monument and took up his chain. He wanted to go back to the little dilapidated building he began to call home some time ago. Loz just wanted to escape this scene and go somewhere peaceful.

"Yeah. Let's get this over with," Loz grumbled.

He hoped she was safe.

&&&&&&&&&

Kadaj was storming down the streets on his motorbike; his mako tinted snake's eyes flared in fury. He didn't know why he was so angry – a wild rage gripped him when he awoke and Jenova seized the moment and directed him to the area she believed she was in. It hadn't taken the teenager ten seconds to realise her directions led him to where Rufus and cronies hung out. So, Rufus had betrayed him. He hadn't exactly trusted the man – Kadaj only trusted Yazoo and Loz – but it still stung that Mother had been hidden in plain sight. And now he wanted revenge for making a fool of him.

He wanted to kick his motorbike up a gear, but he was already at its highest and to go any faster would surely result in a crash. He reflexes were fast, but he still needed to get his vehicle to its destination in one piece if he was to get away. Still, the rage burned inside of him and he gritted his teeth as he neared the building Jenova had directed him to.

With a screech to a halt, the bike abruptly stopped and Kadaj leapt on the seat and dashed into the building. It was falling to pieces like most of the other old buildings, but the stairs appeared safe enough and the boy charged up. The summit revealed an open top with neatly lined construction bars and strewn cinder blocks. Rufus sat near the edge in his wheelchair, seemingly oblivious. Kadaj knew better.

"So," Kadaj began, keeping his voice level, "you're watching my little display. I'm sure Loz and Yazoo will soon gain Mother and all will be well. The children we collected and… helped… are sure to aid the cause. Do you like what I am doing?"

Rufus didn't move as Kadaj approached and stepped on the very edge of the building, yet he eyed the boy furtively from under his white covering.

"Thank you for joining me, Kadaj. I think I needed the company. However, I am sorry to say that two of my Turks decided to try and stop your two comrades," he said, his voice calm, but with a hint of steeliness that made Kadaj's face reveal its rage. Kadaj swung to face the man, his eyes burning.

"Shut up! You think you're manipulating me, but you're not! I know you're hiding her and you sent those fools to stop me – but you will fail. If you give Mother to me, then I'll spare your life," he spat and Rufus said nothing for a minute, appearing unperturbed. It was hard to tell when the man hid himself so.

"Why do you think I have your 'Mother'? I am simply a man who sinned trying to build a better world after sabotaging the old. I have nothing and know little."

Kadaj stared levelly at Rufus, wondering whether the man was continuing to lie, or whether there was some truth to his words. He couldn't be sure when he couldn't see his face. But Kadaj had had enough, and wasn't going to stand for this insolence any more.

"Fine. Have it your way, but you'll pay. I want to introduce you to your death," he growled, smirking. Lifting his arm, he prided himself in the materia he had gained. It was unusual and he didn't think many, if any, had seen it before. The red glow of a Summon materia highlighted the furious boy's face almost demonically and power charged around his arm, then was released suddenly into the cloudy sky.

A roar from the clouds grabbed everyone's attention, all eyes turned to the sky. Thunder rumbled as the clouds were twisted and mutated until a form began to emerge; a monstrous form that snarled. A great dragon, with stubby wings from which insect like gossamer emerged, descended upon the city sending the people into panicked chaos.

"Is that Bahamut?" Rufus asked, his eyes fixed on the great beast. Even after all he had been through, power still attracted him. He sighed, lowering his eyes briefly to the case held under the drapery, then back to Kadaj who was looking at the beast.

"No. I found it myself several years ago. Bahamut Sin is from my own personal collection."

Rufus didn't know how the boy found out he possessed Jenova's head, but he wasn't going to hand it over with ease. He stood, throwing the drapery off him, which caught in a stiff breeze and was whipped away. Kadaj's head turned in an instant and gasped at the black case Rufus held in the crook of one elbow.

"Mother," he inhaled and Rufus smiled before tossing the case over the edge, taking out his gun and firing.

"No!" Kadaj cried, hurling himself over the edge at the black case, but it was too late. The bullet ripped through the box and dark green liquid sprayed out in the air. Kadaj's fingers just touched the box and he tumbled forward, pulling the case protectively against his chest before plummeting to the ground.

Rufus growled, shooting at the boy, but with one eye damaged by Geostigma, his aim had become appalling. At least Jenova might not survive. He prayed it was so.

&&&&&&&&&

Everything was rolling around in my head. Sickness churned my stomach. I knew I wasn't moving, but it felt like I was twirling about. I tried to move, perhaps lift my arms. I couldn't get my body to do anything, and each attempt sapped my energy further. I vowed never to wield Materia again. Then darkness consumed me again and I remembered no more.

&&&&&&&&&

Cloud raced along the streets toward the massive Summon wreaking havoc on the city, _his_ city. He didn't think he could protect anyone, but now he had a renewed determination – he would do what he could, save as many as possible and take down those silver haired men.

He halted near the now flaming monument – the Summon had clearly shot some kind of energy at it; the area was now decimated with small fires here and there and wreckage littering everywhere.

"Cloud!" Tifa called and he turned to see her run up with Denzel holding her hand tight. The boy seemed alright now; Cloud was thankful that Denzel's eyes were no longer the same eerie eyes the silver haired men possessed. The use of children was despicable in his eyes – there was no way any of them could stand for it.

He popped the Fenrir's sides open and selected the swords he wanted as Tifa reached his side, her eyes crinkled with stress and anxiousness.

"Hey," he replied, looking as grim as usual, "It looks like we've got some bad company."

She nodded, peering up at the cloudy sky where the monster flew, using his claws to catch and damage nearby buildings. Tifa noticed a glimmer of flying red and frowned, which quickly dissolved into a smile when her attention was diverted to a familiar young girl falling from the sky with a parachute.

"Yeah, but our friends have returned to give us a hand. Look!" she said, pointing. Cloud turned his head as Yuffie released her parachute and landed on her feet, clamping a hand over her mouth to suppress the urge to throw up with a groan before straightening.

"Well? What the hell Materia got that thing and why didn't we get it!" Yuffie shouted, stomping her foot, then taking a deep breath. She would not get mad – there would be a time from Materia stealing later, for now she had to focus on _that_ thing.

"No idea, Yuffie, but we have to stop that thing before Midgar gets destroyed again. I just know those silver haired men are involved," Cloud growled, placing his chosen swords into his back holder and shutting Fenrir. His eyes had hardened as he glanced at the Summon being taken on by his friends.

"Who are they?" Denzel said, glancing curiously at Tifa, who merely smiled.

"They're our friends."

The boy gave her a slow smile before letting go of her hand and moving away.

"I'm going back to the shop. Marlene's there, right?" Cloud nodded, "Well, I'll wait with her. Bye!" He ran off and Tifa watched him go, making sure nothing was around to harm him, before turning back to the other two.

"How are we going to get there?" Tifa asked and Cloud shrugged. Yuffie rolled her eyes, beginning to run toward the nearest building.

"He's coming over this way so I'm going in!" she yelled, running up the side of a building and Tifa grinned. She hopped behind Cloud and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Shall we?" she said and Cloud nodded, speeding away.

They would all pay.

&&&&&&&&&

Loz and Yazoo were fighting Reno and Rude with ease. Neither Turk had abilities above the silver haired men's prowess, so Loz was getting bored by Rude's attempts to kill him. The thought of Neriah kept nagging at him, but he pushed it to the back of his mind and hit Rude with a blow that sent the man flying.

Fifty feet later Rude landed, disorientated. Loz leapt and landed nearby, approached the man menacingly.

"Where's Mother? If she's not under the monument, you must know! Your little friends weren't very willing to talk to us before, but you and your friend are weak. So, where is she?" he demanded, but Rude merely stumbled before a sign smashed him in the head, shortly followed by Reno.

Yazoo landed next to Loz, looking as cool as ever, and stood next to Loz. His eyes appeared almost blank, but Loz knew it was covering a tightly controlled anger that was slowly being worked out through violence. He turned his attention back to the two Turks who were slowly climbing to their feet.

"We have no idea where your stupid 'Mother' is!" Reno snapped while dusting himself down and testing out his right shoulder, which ached more than the rest of him.

"That's insulting – take it back!" Loz raged, still feeling hurt even as he was beginning to turn away from the being he had believed to be his mother. He wasn't sure what he believed anymore. Yazoo hissed almost like a snake, his eyes narrowing in fury.

"If you do not, I shall personally rip out your throat so you cannot speak anymore insults," he said in his silky voice that always chilled Loz to hear. You knew he meant, too – his eyes held a cold fire that held a disturbing truth in them. He did not lie and he would carry out every word he spoke.

"Sorry… wait, why am I apologising?" Reno said with a frown, looking to Rude for assistance. Rude shrugged, keeping his sunglass covered eyes trained on the two silver haired men.

"You shall regret this," Yazoo replied, never blinking or removing his gaze from Reno. In a split second, everyone was in motion; Reno leapt into the air yelling, while Yazoo calmly, but filled with fury, leapt too. Meanwhile, Loz stared at the two flying through the air only to be caught off guard and punched by Rude and sent stumbling back.

Loz grunted in pain, but was back in action; ducking, punching – doing all in his power to win. In the background, his heard the familiar of one of the motorbikes they own and briefly took his eyes off Rude to see Kadaj rush by. He barely registered the clout behind Rude's punch to his stomach; he shoved Rude away and began to run off toward his motorbike. Something was wrong; he caught tears and anger on Kadaj's face with his sharp eyesight.

"Yazoo! I think Kadaj needs us!" Loz shouted with a wheeze; that punch had knocked the wind out of him. Yazoo read Loz's expression quickly and nodded. With one fluid kick to Reno he sent the man into Rude and took off to his own bike.

&&&&&&&&&

Kadaj tried to hold in his emotions as he reached Cloud's home. He wanted to kill the man – it was his fault, he intervened with his plans! The ramshackle church may have had him in there and if so… Kadaj wanted him to die right then.

His motorbike hit the double doors with a roar from the throttle and he drove over the beautiful flowers without caring in the least. Kadaj only looked for revenge, but found the church empty and yelled in frustration. He stopped on the main patch of flowers and looked at the black case he was cradling that held Jenova's head. The bullet had hit the top part of case – it looked bad. He was afraid to open it and see. His hands twitched, desperate to discover the truth, but he was frozen.

Suddenly, the sound of motorbikes caught his ears and he prepared himself for battle, his blood beginning to boil with wild rage that had become so familiar. The doors smashed open once more and Kadaj marginally relaxed when he saw the glint of silver and motorbikes identical to his own.

"Kadaj!" Loz called breathlessly, "I saw you drive by and you looked upset. Did you find Mother?"

Kadaj turned his head away, unwilling to divulge his fears. He unscrewed the lid, but didn't remove it. A hand gently gripped his shoulder and he instinctively spun and went to break the arm, only to have Yazoo extricate his arm and watch the teenager with mild interest.

"I thought you would try that, but I decided to try anyway. Are you alright?" Yazoo asked, slowly blinking. Kadaj quelled his erratic breathing and took the lid off.

"I'm going to see if Mother lives. She got hit by a bullet," was all he said before forcing himself to look inside to open case. Yazoo drew closer to look himself while Loz stood beside them, remembering the last time he had been here in flashes of fighting and the white flower.

Kadaj tipped the head onto the ground, a sob welling in him while Yazoo's face had become white, his eyes wide with shock and fear. Loz felt fear grip his heart and stood beside Yazoo, his hand resting on the man's shoulder.

"She's… dead?" he voiced his fear and Yazoo turned his pallid face to Loz's and gave a single nod. Kadaj gave a suppressed sob and got off his bike only to fall to his knees.

"She's going to be mad at me," he whispered, beginning to cry shuddery tears. Yazoo did not cry, but his skin was white and his eyes were still large and disbelieving. Loz didn't know how to react; he felt nothing to the head lying amongst the flowers. It looked nothing like how he pictured Jenova to look. It looked… empty, false. He shuddered and thought of going back home once more. Yazoo neither accepted or rejected his attempt at consolation, so he turned instead to Kadaj, who was still brokenly crying. Loz knelt beside the teenager and pulled him into an embrace. The boy was only young – a determined, somewhat lost eighteen year old – who needed someone older to hold him; his brother in Jenova cells. Loz was the oldest and felt it was his responsibility to comfort the boy, despite Yazoo being closer to Kadaj. The twenty-two year old had sunk onto the seat of his motorbike and was now staring into space more than ever, but Loz still held their youngest close. He felt strangely like a parent with a scared child, despite being used to the dumb tough guy role. Having seven years over Kadaj wasn't really much relatively, but right then it felt like he was twenty years older. Loz felt strange that he felt so little toward the dead head lying only a few feet away, while the other two were falling apart around him.

"No-one's going to be mad at you, Kadaj," Loz tried to sound soothing, but wasn't sure whether he should say anything or not. The whole situation felt uncomfortable.

Loz wasn't sure how long he knelt there, but eventually Yazoo came to his senses and stood. Yazoo felt the need to lose himself in his memories, if only to shield himself from what he had witnessed.

"I… we must depart. We need to look at what has happened and see what is to be done," Yazoo said in his most distant voice Loz had heard since he'd first met him. Loz turned to look at Yazoo getting back on his bike and then faced Kadaj, who was now sitting down and out of Loz's arms.

"Can he ride alone? I think he should hitch a ride with you, Yazoo," Loz decided, gently pulling Kadaj up and onto Yazoo's bike. He worried how little Kadaj was resisting, but was just thankful the boy was going home to rest after such a stressful event. Without warning, Kadaj's vice like grip was on Loz's arms and he was staring at Loz like a wild animal.

"That girl you're going home to – I told you she had to be included in some of our events, unless you have good news…?" Kadaj said in a strangely hollow voice, his grip tightening further. Loz frowned. Where had that come from, Loz didn't know; he didn't want to know either, but if he were to guess, the boy was trying to divert his mind from what had just taken place. To attack him was easy; he had become further distanced from the main two since he was responsible for Neriah. The thought of Neriah participating chilled him.

"I'm afraid not, but in time we'll know. The next plan we make will include her," Loz assured Kadaj, but the boy didn't look convinced. He let Loz go and the two left, leaving Kadaj's bike behind. Loz sighed, looking at the wreckage and left on his own bike before Cloud could return to find him there still. The head was left in a field of flowers, silently screaming, its dead eyes staring at a broken roof at a now cloudless sky.

&&&&&&&&&

What first woke me up was the feeling of spinning. I knew my body wasn't spinning; my hands and feet felt still and a little numb, but my mind tumbled about. It was an unpleasant feeling and made me want to open my weighted eyes. I felt tired and knew it would be dark if I opened my eyes. My ears caught someone else's breathing and I immediately became alert, my eyes popping open as fear gripped me.

"You're awake," Loz said softly and I breathed a sigh of relief. The blackness began to give away to reveal navy light coming from one of the high windows I couldn't hope to ever see out of. Looking down at my body, I found I had been placed under the covers and that Loz was beside me, but not holding me close and possessively like he usually would. He was instead watching me intently, curiosity tingeing his mako tinted irises.

"Mmm hmm," I merely mumbled, content to doze. I felt so drained. And now I knew the situation with some horrible clarity. But I couldn't say anything yet. Speaking of… I tried to surreptitiously glance at my left arm which had held the Sense materia.

"I took it out for you. What were you doing with that materia anyway?" he questioned, frowning slightly. I was worried – what could I say? My mind began to flit about worryingly. What could I say? My mouth worked briefly before I thought of something.

"It was silly," I said, looking down at the covers, a hand idly tracing nervous patterns, "I was trying to sense if you were alright. You were out of range, though. Obviously."

He watched me with such intensity; I was close to burying myself under the covers and never facing him again. Loz knew something was up at that point, I think, but said nothing. He instead gathered me up in his arms so my head fell comfortably onto his chest. I snuggled close, glad to have avoided saying anything yet. I was happy to feel his warmth and know that he loved me. Probably. Well, he hadn't deserted me yet, but who was to say what went on in his head for sure? I was kidnapped, held a prisoner here until somehow I managed to pull myself onto an equal footing. I was still held here – there was no option to leave here when I felt like it – but it didn't feel like imprisonment anymore. It was a foolish thought to have, but I had it all the same.

My mind was working overtime. My eyelids began to drag down again – I was both emotionally and physically exhausted. Combined with Loz's warmth, I couldn't help but begin to drift off. There was only so long I could put off this news. And then my strange built up world would shatter.

I didn't want to tell Loz for one major reason; whether he could get us out of this situation to some kind of safety. I did not want to be part of Kadaj's crazy plan. And Loz appeared more and more reluctant to aid his two 'brothers' in the plan. I would not say I had power over Loz, but I had a little sway that day by day must have been more enticing to Loz. The life he could lead with me would be a lot more fulfilling, I believe, than what he will enact with Kadaj and Yazoo. We could become something, given time and distance from this city. But I won't say a word until he can vouch for my escape from Kadaj's clutches. Well, I hope I won't say anything; if he keeps looking so intently at me like that, I'll give eventually.

But my lips will be sealed for some days yet. It would only be a matter of time before things began to fall apart and I would have to face the truth.


	13. No Going Back

AN: Sorry its been a while since an update of any kind, but university has me tied up a lot. Stupid education. Well, here is chapter thirteen. Hope you enjoy and thank you for your reviews, because you guys really make my day!

**Chapter Thirteen: No Going Back**

The days passed by slowly, too slowly, for me. I found myself wearing the floorboards out walking around the house. I learnt more about the place that was originally my prison as the hours dragged and Loz was elsewhere. I had no idea where he was. I asked whenever he showed up, but he dodged the question with ease and I had no choice but to let it slide. Every time he evaded a question, it became harder and harder to tell him about the pregnancy. I have to admit, apart from boredom, that was probably the reason why I was pacing so much. The anxiety was getting to me. But that wasn't the worst of it.

"Neriah," an annoyingly familiar voice called from the main hallway. I turned on my heel and marched out of the main bedroom through the dilapidated living room, which consisted of bare walls and floorboards, and into the main hallway where Yazoo stood.

Now Loz seems to be engrossed in whatever plans Kadaj had set up for them, Yazoo would come and check on me once a day. I'm not sure why, but my gut told me Kadaj had something to do with it. I knew Loz trusted me, but the other two would keep me locked up if I was held by one of them. The mere thought gave me chills.

"Hello, Yazoo," I said dully, not in the mood to be even tolerant of him. He gave me a courteous nod of greeting, his usual irritating mannerisms that said to me 'I know I am better than you'.

"I have come to check up on you. The usual," he said with the faintest trace of a smirk and I gave an exasperated sigh and shrugged.

"Right. The usual. Well, you can see I'm here and I don't look like I'm planning on running away, so you can go." My eyes met his, both cold. I realised suddenly there was something different about him and my expression changing to a thoughtful one. The side of his face…

"Where did you get that cut?" I asked and he looked away, out towards the completely unsalvageable stairs. His beautiful silver hair now fell across it and I narrowed my eyes. Something was going on.

"What's going on!" I snapped and he turned those eyes the three shared on me. I began to wish that I hadn't asked, but then his expression changed from annoyed to his usual grave self.

"There is some business we are taking care of at the moment. I was instructed to check on you as the fracas is moving into this area. Also, Kadaj would like to remind you that you have to help us soon. That, or…" he trailed and I gritted my teeth.

"Or announce that I'm pregnant?" I tried to sound casual, but the words caught in my throat and I ended up sounding choked. This situation was slowly becoming dire, a noose tightening around my neck. If I didn't start doing something about this situation, then I was going to end up hanged. Well, not literally, but I would be put in a real bad corner.

"Indeed. But now I can see you are fine, I shall go and aid Loz and Kadaj." He turned and left without another word and I returned to the bedroom. That whole conversation was uncomfortable at best, downright nerve-jangling at worst. I sat down and decided that if I didn't tell Loz, then I would never escape and it would be too late.

Something had to be done, now.

&&&&&&&&&&&

Kadaj fought the gangland members with ease, his graceful moves slicing through flesh like a dance. The screams were the only spoilers of his ballet, but here in the heat of battle his mind was at rest. He was calm, bordering on happy. It was the first day since Jenova's head had been discovered to be dead he had been this docile. He had cried, thrown violent tantrums, commanded the entire destruction of Midgar and finally exhausted himself and collapsed for some days. When he had awoken, Yazoo and Loz were staring fearfully at him. They had told him the gangland sector had fallen into chaos now they had disappeared and were fighting each other to become the top gang in the sector. Even in his weakness he could see the solution with clarity.

"_We have to reappear and if they don't bow to us, we kill them."_

The others had been a little reluctant, but they always followed him in the end. His head had begun to clear from the cloud of Jenova's will, but still something buzzed in his head, coursing under his skin like a snake. Kadaj knew that until the second Sephiroth was born, he would feel Sephiroth's lingering presence, pushing him forward. Without the power of Jenova, there was no hope of bringing the memory of Sephiroth forth. The memory was meant to command all those infected with Geostigma in order to protect the true coming of Sephiroth. And now everything was falling apart around him and it was driving him insane. He would have the feeling in his skin like an itch that can never be scratched with him until he died. Kadaj felt a twitch in his eye as he struck down another gangland thug.

Perhaps the three of them were outnumbered, but they had more than enough sheer power and strength between them to defeat them. Kadaj was sure. He stabbed a man charging towards him with a short blade and stood back to survey the situation.

"Loz, Yazoo! Clear up this area then retreat. Meet up tonight!" he shouted and he saw Yazoo elegantly flip backwards and up onto a nearby building. The older man looked to Kadaj levelly and nodded.

"I shall be there," he said softly and ran off toward a knot of gangland members attacking Loz. Kadaj patiently waited for Loz to give an affirmative, but the man was fighting off thugs with the help of Yazoo. Kadaj found himself just standing there, waiting for a reply. He didn't know what to think of Loz anymore. He had liked Loz, when they first met and the three of them had their cause to fight for, their master plan. But now he seemed a little more distanced from him. But that day he had finally got a hold on Jenova…

It still hurt for him to think on it, but he remembered Loz comforting him. Kadaj didn't think Loz was capable of the strength he had shown then. While he and Yazoo had fallen apart, Loz had been strong for them both. But still… he found himself questioning whether to trust him or not.

"I'll be there!" Kadaj snapped his head up from thought to see Loz nodding and raising his Dual Hound as a signal. Kadaj nodded and disappeared back to base. His head was starting to pound and the writhing in his skin was beginning to irritate him no end.

&&&&&&&&&&&

I jumped as I heard another loud crash and retreated further into the house into the room that used to be my bedroom, despite the fact I never had a bed.

A banging began to scare me, as it sounded like it was coming from the front door. I went over to the little storeroom full of all kinds of rubbish and found a razorblade and a small knife. It had been a while since I'd exercised my abilities, but I knew I could do it. First person through the door and they were getting sliced.

I stood, back against the wall opposite the door, waiting for someone to come in. My breath was becoming ragged, but I didn't bother controlling it. I just stood like a statue, waiting.

Footsteps sounded from the other rooms, making their way slowly toward me and my breath caught in my throat. The door opened and without a thought, I threw.

I screamed when I realised it was Loz, but he seemed only slightly perturbed at the razorblade he held in a leather gloved hand.

"What are you doing?" he asked and I slid down the wall, the excitement finally getting too much for me. I was glad he was back, but my body couldn't handle the tension anymore. Loz crossed the room and helped me up, guiding me to the bedroom while I recovered my senses. I took a deep breath and gently pulled my arm out of his grasp and remained beside the bed of our room. Loz was looking a little worse for wear as he looked at me.

"What happened? I heard all this crashing and screaming outside," I said warily as Loz sat heavily on the bed and wiped away the blood of a small nick on the right side of his face. I wondered if he was alright, but then the commotion from outside brought me back to what was at hand.

"Business. Nothing to worry about, but I don't think it went well for us. I just came to check you were alright and weren't hurt at all," he told me and I found myself frowning. I hated it when he acted as if the two of us supported the same cause – I don't agree with anything they're doing. They're trying to get me pregnant for some stupid second coming of Sephiroth, for Planet's sake.

"You mean it didn't go well for you – I'm not a part of it and don't want to be," I pointed out coldly and Loz sighed and laid back on the bed, arms spread out and eyes closed. I didn't approach him, but watched him while wondering if this was the time to tell him about the child. I didn't know how he would react to the news, and anyway he still had to tell me if there was a way for me to escape this fate.

"Loz… do you know anything more about getting me out of this situation?" I tentatively asked and he sat up, rubbing his face tiredly before standing up. His face was so blank and emotionless – it was less than promising. He made no motion to come near me and I felt cut off and trapped by this whole situation.

"The second coming plan is expected to go forward and there's nothing I could say without it becoming too suspicious about either dropping the plan or using you," he answered neutrally and I wanted to scream as the trapped feeling rose in my heart. Was there no escape for me? And now I had the problem that technically the first part of their stupid plan had gone forward – I was pregnant. If it was concealed from Kadaj and Yazoo, I may be able to somehow escape in the meantime. I was still pretty distressed.

"But can't you stop it? I… don't know what to do about this! I can't have a child – not here and now in this world! You have to stop this!" I cried my feelings of panic rising and constricting my throat as tears threatened. He still didn't approach me and it ripped me up inside.

"I can't make these sacrifices for you. The plan must go forward; you _will_ have a child. If I try to keep you and screw the plan, then you won't live," he told me sadly and I lowered my head, tears slipping freely down my face, dripping to the floor.

"I hate loving you," I said, a sob catching in my throat as I spoke. I could see Loz's feet in my vision step towards me and then his arms encased me and I couldn't help but bury my head in his neck and let the tears flow, though I hated crying in front of him.

"Would you rather we found someone else?" he quietly posed to me, and with a sinking heart I already knew my answer. I couldn't do that to someone else, ever. It had to be me, nothing else. Also, a jealous streak in me considered that Loz would get the job of impregnating this new person and flared in jealousy. No-one is touching him!

"No," was all I would say and my arms clung to Loz tight, as my tears guttered and went out like a candle. A new surge of determination took me over and I knew that if this had to be done, then I was going to do it. No-one else can be put in my position because I don't want to do it. A child by myself and Loz? It partly sickened me, part enthralled me, the idea of creating a family unit. But it wouldn't be normal; they would twist it, change it so it wouldn't be a family and my baby wouldn't be normal. It would become the second coming of Sephiroth; feared, hated, my child like he, loathing others, the Planet, and ultimately all life. My child would end up doing all that again…

The realisation of what I had bestowed upon myself made me want to run screaming from his arms, but I couldn't move. I was paralysed by an intense fear of what was to come, and I felt my knees buckle and Loz's arms grip me like a vice, pulling me to my feet before I had barely fallen.

"What's the matter?" he asked and my teary, fearful eyes met his disturbing ones I had grown accustomed to.

"I… I have to do this so no-one else has to, b-but I don't _want_ to do this. I'm terrified of the consequences. A c-child, by you and m-me… growing up to kill and becoming the second coming of Sephiroth himself? I-I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to do that," I poured out to him. I had to tell him what I discovered, but I was so scared… so afraid of what would happen to my child. If somehow I could get away on my own, then there was a chance of normality for my child, but I knew in my heart that I couldn't leave Loz now.

"You're strong. That's why I chose you," he tried to comfort me and it only made me feel worse. I didn't feel strong at all at that moment and the burden of my news weighed me down. A few dry sobs escaped my lips and he looked at me as if I was going mad.

"What is it?" he pressed harder, giving my arms a slight shake and I raised my face to stare him directly in the face. He looked confused, concerned and a little irritated at my behaviour, but I kept my face tilted up. I wanted to see how he reacted to this. If it was negatively, or even worse, that it had been a ruse all this time and he was just waiting for a child to take, then I was running. I didn't care if the prospect of me defeating Loz or outrunning him was near enough zero – I had to try if it was the case.

"Loz… I'm pregnant," I confessed and I waiting for his reaction. His eyes widened and he opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, but it froze. Surprise dominated his face and then…

"That's… I can't believe it! That's wonderful!" he exclaimed, catching me off guard, and pulled me to him in a tight embrace. He kissed my head, leaving me in a state of shock. I couldn't take how happy he seemed. It disturbed me, but also gave me a peculiar stirring in my stomach.

"You do know what this means?" I questioned in a sombre voice, muffled by his shoulder. His grip on me relaxed and I eased back to look at him. His face had become very solemn and little worn. I sympathised. This whole ordeal had taken a lot out of me. And now all that we might have hoped for was shattered.

"Yeah. I think we should keep this quiet until something can be done," he said quietly and pulled me to him again. I wrapped my arms around his waist and was just glad he was happy about this and wanted to be close to me.

The silence was welcome for once, now the crashing outside had stopped and I looked up at Loz.

"What'll happen now?" I asked and he shrugged.

"I've got to meet with Yazoo and Kadaj tonight. I'll see what Kadaj wants and try not to say anything, but keep you out of the action. But if I can't, do you think you could fight?"

I thought about it for a while and only one answer struck me.

"If it means I'll gain true freedom, then I would. But you're going to have to buy razorblades for me to fight with," I replied with relative ease, my mind still turning over the events of the day. Loz nodded and gave me a parting kiss before disappearing back to their headquarters.

I just lay down and thought until sleep lulled and took me.

&&&&&&&&&

Loz walked the streets that had been a bloody battleground earlier that day without looking. His head was thinking only on what he could do to escape without either Yazoo or Kadaj finding out. If they did, he wasn't sure what to expect from Kadaj. Blind rage or sadness, perhaps both. He would certainly demand Neriah's death, but his own would be more questionable. And if somehow they killed her… he wasn't sure it was worth living with her death on his conscience.

He rounded the corner and headed straight towards the bombed out building that served for their headquarters and entered alert to any danger. He heard the soft voice of Yazoo and then Kadaj yelling at the top of his lungs.

Loz rushed forward, climbing over building wreckage and entered the main section of the building to find Kadaj in a rage, pacing about like a tiger while Yazoo tried to calm the teenager.

"You!" Kadaj rounded on Loz and pointed a finger into the older man's face. Loz frowned, wondering what was going on as Yazoo pulled Kadaj back from Loz.

"Kadaj, calm down. You would think Loz was a traitor," Yazoo said, flicking his gaze between Kadaj and Loz. Loz shrugged and leaned against the wall, calm and patient. They were all used to Kadaj's behaviour now.

"Perhaps he is! Argh! Why won't it stop!" the boy howled, his hands rubbing his arms after flinging Yazoo's grip on his arm and turned away from them.

"Kadaj, what are we going to do now? We can't create a second Sephiroth without Mother's cells. Mother's dead, so her cells are useless to us," Loz said, his tone stony. He wanted to get this over with and go without revealing anything. Kadaj swung around to face him, his eyes burning with hatred. Loz simply waited for a reply, too tired for Kadaj's fits of rage. He and Yazoo had always thought that Kadaj's closeness to Mother had been the cause, but it appeared to be something else, perhaps something Kadaj hadn't spoken to them about.

Kadaj's face temporarily crumpled, but then he fired up again and raged on. Loz didn't pay attention, deciding to ignore him until he calmed down while Yazoo attempted to soothe the boy. Minutes passed before Kadaj calmed down, seemingly released from some place of rage. He now slid to the floor and shook, his energy spent.

"Change of plan," Kadaj said shakily, his face unusually pale after the twisted, sickening tirade he had endured. Loz regarded the younger man warily, concerned for the well-being of Neriah and their child. Kadaj did not look right to Loz; the older man could only assume he had come to some terrible conclusion, though Kadaj was young, spirited some would say, insane others. Loz saw he had reacted very badly to something and he did not want this to affect his newly forming family.

_Family._ All he, Kadaj and Yazoo had ever wanted was family after they had destroyed their previous lives, and they had found a vestige of it in each other. But now… Loz thought about it and it shocked him how disconnected he felt with Kadaj and Yazoo. The two were so driven and vengeful and lonely. And Loz had changed that for himself. As that had changed… his goals had changed. The second coming of Sephiroth didn't seem as important when he was with Neriah and his unborn child. Protecting them, looking after them was.

All that began to go through Loz's mind was a means of escape and it disturbed him how fervent a wish it was. But still… he had a duty to his brothers. He would keep Neriah's pregnancy quiet for now, but when the time came… they were going to give it up for the cause he and his brothers had been working for.

He tried to ignore the stabbing pain of regret in his heart and listen to what his brothers were discussing.


	14. Entreaty

**AN: **I apologise right now for how long this update has taken me. I really struggled to write this and it's been written in bits a pieces. Luckily, today I had a stroke of creativity concerning Destined Paths and so another chapter has been completed after much agonising and guilt on not updating. Hooray! It's a little on the short side, but if I wrote more, it would be filler-rific and no fun at all. Please enjoy!

PS – I had to make an edit, so this is a chapter I replaced the original one with. Stupid continuity error. Curse me!

**Chapter Fourteen: Entreaty**

I woke up to find myself alone and shivered at the cool morning slipping through a small window. With a sigh, I got up and shut it before huddling back in the bed. No clocks to check the time, but by the brief glance out the window, I would have guessed just after sunrise, so maybe half six. Where had Loz gone at this time? Had he gone all night?

The cold was irritating me, but I just wrapped more covers around me. If Loz expected to come back into the bed with me, he could think again. Last night had been so trying. And my verdict hadn't come back – whether I would be required to fight. The idea wasn't particularly entertaining anymore now I knew I wouldn't just be putting my own life on the line. If this had been a month ago, I would have done anything to get out of this decrepit house and fight anyone on the street for entertainment, just for something to do outside of these rickety walls.

I simply lay there, thinking about what my life could end up being; few of my imagined situations positive, but I could still hope. After some time I heard the familiar opening of the door. His gruffness compared to Yazoo's usual quietness gave him away instantly.

"I'm back," he announced, coming through the double doors and I peered at him from my position bundled up in covers.

"So you are. Have you been out all night?" I tried to sound conversational, but the need to know my fate was hidden badly. I was too tired for games any longer. Loz averted my gaze for several moments before sitting on the end of the bed, back to me, and began pulling his boots off.

"We spoke for some time, and then put Kadaj to bed. His body is both strong and weak. Right now he is frail; too frail to get up for some days. It gives us some precious extra time. However, Yazoo is still in the middle – he distils wisdom from Kadaj's rants. To go against Kadaj right now would not be a good idea. I believe whatever move is made next, you should be a part of it."

I simply listened to him, my heart somersaulting with nerves. I would get to leave for a time, but risk my health, which had now become an important thing. Loz removed his leather top and put on a vest instead before sitting beside me on the bed. I didn't move, but allowed him to pull my duvet encased body to him.

"So you've been talking all night?"

"No, I stayed over to keep any suspicion of being divided from the other two at bay. Kadaj called me a traitor last night. And something in Yazoo's eyes told me he is thinking about what Kadaj claimed. Yazoo always was good at telling truth from lies and I think he is beginning to piece things together. My absences, my lack of enthusiasm, his checkups on you as instructed by Kadaj. I fear that if I don't pull my weight, we'll be found out." Loz's tone was so stony and uncharacteristic of him, I began to worry about what he was saying. Every day the situation was getting more serious and problematic.

"I'm scared."

Loz looked at me, his eyes softening with pain and pulled me closer. I simply lay there, staring into space as my fate revealed itself.

"I can't tell you not to be, Neriah. Chances are, this is make or break time. If a mission comes up, Kadaj will want you to go. And I'm not risking this child just to keep it a secret. I'll have to tell them. And from there… we'll see." His grave tone left me feeling suddenly empty and even more scared. I pulled away from him and climbed out of bed.

"What will happen then? Tell me!" I demanded, but Loz wouldn't meet my eyes. He stood, wandering to the film covered window. I knew somewhere in his head he was thinking about letting Kadaj have what he wanted and allowing the baby to be taken. I even understood why he would do that. But if he did, I could never forgive him. He still didn't face me and I began to approach him.

"What would you do?" I tried to calm my voice, but it came out more like a threat than a question.

"I would have to give the child up, so it would live – so _we_ would live! That's what I would have to do. Understand it isn't what I want to do, but if I need to… I'll do it!" he shouted and I stepped back as if I'd been slapped. The idea of never seeing my child broke my heart. A minute passed before I tried to speak to Loz again. I sidled up to him, still standing by the window, his face hard as stone.

"Please, Loz," I begged, "don't let them take my child away from me."

I was gripping helplessly onto his arm like a vice and I couldn't tell he was staring straight ahead because he couldn't bear to look at me. He stiffened to my clingy touch before pulling his arm out of my tough grip with ease. He left me empty handed, staring at him as he took a few paces forward and halted. Loz lowered his head and ran a hand through his silver hair and I could almost feel the division within him. He was so torn up over this. Who should he align himself with? Me and his child? Or the two that made up their trio that had become his family where there was none after Jenova's encouraged destruction?

"I… I can't be a father," he changed the subject and I became confused at these new tactics. I didn't like him deflecting the question to this unsettling statement, but I couldn't leave him to stare into the distance without replying after coming out with that.

Gently, I placed a hand on his arm, but he didn't move. I didn't expect him to move, but I really wanted him to know I was there for him.

"You are a father. There's no choice in the matter. Funny, I didn't really get much of a choice in the matter either, but here we are," I finished dryly and Loz sighed and lowered his head. I had had enough of him behaving depressed. He didn't have a scratch on what I had endured, so why should he get to brood and sulk?

"You haven't made a choice," I quietly reminded him and all he responded with was a shake of him head and a slight shrug.

"If they removed the baby from my arms and I was screaming for him or her, what would you do!" I yelled, anguish tainting my voice and Loz shuddered, but still wouldn't face me and I became angry. In a flash I stepped in front of him and without a thought grabbed his chin and forced our eyes to meet.

His eyes were so heartbreaking and dejected I almost forgot myself and wanted to kiss him to try in some way make him feel better. But the anger flared and burned again and I blazed before him, unable to let what was happening go.

He remained resolute, turning his eyes from me and headed to the door.

"I've got to check in with Kadaj and Yazoo. I'll be back later," was all he said before leaving me to sit on the bed and cry.

* * *

Loz was in a whirlwind of confusion. The look on Neriah's face would haunt him for some time, that helpless expression. He had to walk away from her, or he didn't know what he'd do. So he stalked the streets, making a beeline for Kadaj and Yazoo's headquarters. And it was their headquarters; he no longer spent much time there anymore. His diversion was failing, _he_ was failing her. Any day now questions were going to be raised and loyalties confronted. Loz wasn't sure what to expect from someone as unpredictable as Kadaj. And as for Yazoo… he had no idea what went through his head. Yazoo kept so much to himself, his mind hidden behind a veneer of an expressionless face that Loz could never discern what side Yazoo would choose.

He could give up and just allow the plan to continue as Kadaj had envisioned it. Perhaps after giving the baby up, Kadaj would allow him to keep Neriah and then they could potentially oversee the baby's growth. Surely they would need someone to raise the child.

His thoughts kept wandering down avenues of thought, each of them slightly different but none of them acknowledging the idea of abandoning Kadaj and Yazoo and taking off with Neriah. It had been Loz and Neriah's plan, but now it was coming closer to the time they had to go, Loz's heart froze. He had been part of their group for so long, he had had a place in the world with them and together the three of them had planned to gain acceptance and dominance. But now he had found acceptance elsewhere and potentially a place in the world should he remain with Neriah. He selfishly wished that he could have the best of both worlds, despite its nigh impossibility. He would be made to choose. And at the moment, his heart wavered.

"Hey, you're the one who helps that punk Kadaj! Die!" a man yelled, leaping out of an alley armed with arm braces from his elbow to his wrist lined with knives. Loz was shaken out of his thoughts and barely had time to think before dodging the man's attack. The man was wiry and agile, falling back with grace and taking a fighting position.

Loz was in no mood to deal with this. The man flew at him again, and Loz tried to deflect his blows with his arm guard, but the man fought like a man beserked, madly slashing once he was in range. A myriad of cuts covered Loz's arms, the leather breached and flesh finely split. Loz could feel the blood begin to trickle, but was healing fast. There were just so many cuts. He was getting angry. With a growl he pushed the man away from him and charged forward, swinging a punch that crunched unpleasantly with the man's face. The man screamed, nose broken, and fell back, giving Loz the time to get away. He wasn't interested in this fight; he had more important things to deal with.

In a blue haze, he was out of sight. A minute later he stopped running, anger burned out leaving him hollow. He had arrived at their headquarters in the gangland sector. The place was desolate. No-one really hung around, save a few who seemed interested in trying to join, but Kadaj seemed to have lost interest in pursuing the idea of getting people to join their cause. Loz thought Kadaj just preferred control and terror over something as simple as volunteers.

With a deep sigh, he entered the decrepit building and sought out his brothers. It wasn't hard to detect them; even without enhanced senses, you could hear Kadaj either yelling with anger or talking excitedly. He was surprised Kadaj was recovered so fast after his last tirade. Sometimes it was hard to believe both how grown up and ridiculously childish the teenager could be. The boy had thought up grandiose plans and immaturely accused his most trusted of ridiculous things. And Loz knew that some accusations were true when it came to himself, but when Kadaj accused Yazoo of similar treasons against him, it made Loz realise how young the boy was.

He stepped through a hole in a nearby wall to enter Kadaj's room and found the boy excitedly talking with Yazoo, who watched Kadaj with a languid attentiveness. Loz wasn't sure how Yazoo pulled it off, but somehow he did.

"Ah, Loz!" Kadaj cried, following Yazoo's gaze, "You're just in time to hear me talk about the baby we should be getting in good time."

Loz's heart froze. Did they know? Yazoo shrugged at Loz's confused expression and turned his attention back on Kadaj. Loz approached them and decided to find out.

"Did you guys hear something I didn't? And I thought you needed your rest?" he said jokingly and Kadaj's eyes narrowed, as if he had been put down.

"No, but I'm sure we'll be getting good news any day now. My health is fine, thanks to Mother's cells," the boy said coldly, eyes beginning to bore into Loz's. Loz shrugged, quickly trying think of something to say.

"I think I will force her to let me use Sense on her tomorrow. The woman is… reluctant to allow me to test her," he answered, eyes trying to shut any emotion from being read. Kadaj seemed a little cheered by his reply and nodded, a small smile on his lips. The boy changed like the wind.

"Good, but remember – you're in control. You can't not Sense her just because she doesn't want you to – she's our captive! Anyway, I was just talking about the child and the stupid Planet savers…" he trailed off, taking his time to build up the drama. Kadaj walked around the room for a moment, as if gathering his thoughts while Yazoo and Loz watched on. When Kadaj next spoke, he was deadly serious.

"They thought that they had defeated us, those good-for-nothing Planet savers, but they didn't know what we were truly planning. They thought we attempt to bring Sephiroth back, but how could we? He's been dead for so long… and he wouldn't be controlled. I am the leader… I am the leader, and he would take that away from me. But the child… the new child would listen to us, would be guided by our hands," Kadaj said softly, chilling Loz to the bone. So this was Kadaj's intention. Images of Kadaj taking the role the child's father flashed through his mind and made his blood boil. He would be forced into a trivial role out the three – he always was – and he would never get a chance to raise the child as he wished. Admittedly, he had no idea how he would raise his child, yet he did know Kadaj having a hand in it like this wouldn't be part of it. And Neriah… what would become of her?

"What about the child bearer?" Loz asked, forcing his voice to hold its usual timbre. He caught Yazoo's gaze examine his face, but ignored it, intent on remaining as calm as he could manage. It didn't help having Yazoo analyse him from a few feet away, making observations and drawing conclusions. All Loz could hope was that Yazoo did what he usually did and kept his observations to himself.

Meanwhile Kadaj waved his hand indolently, as if half-heartedly brushing a fly away, and turned his shining eyes on Loz.

"She would be no use to us once she's performed her job. She's barely a use to us doing what she's doing now. The woman hasn't helped us once," he replied with disgust, lip curling with distaste.

"We will do what we need to do; eliminate her so she poses no threat to the child. She may well try to kidnap the child from us. And we couldn't have that now, could we?" Kadaj said coldly, eyes trained on Loz as if waiting for a reply. Loz felt sick as he shook his head.

"We couldn't, Kadaj. She would be a risk left alive." The monotony of his voice was overlooked by Kadaj, satisfied with the answer. Yazoo's senses never left anything unturned, and in that moment, he had formed a picture he wasn't sure how to interpret.

"I have business to attend," Yazoo said suddenly, and stalked to the exit. Kadaj swung around, grabbing Yazoo's arm tightly.

"Where are you going?" he demanded. Yazoo coolly placed a gentle hand on Kadaj's and firmly removed his grasp on him. His unreadable eyes found Kadaj's and suddenly Kadaj looked like a lost boy.

"I am going to spy on our other brother and his group. I shall return in a few hours," was all he said before continuing his departure. Loz still hadn't moved from his spot, watching the exchange with apprehension. What was Yazoo up to?

Kadaj let the man go, watching him disappear. Once he was gone from sight, he turned back to Loz. Loz knew that he was not the favourite, and that now he was under some form of suspicion and observation, but he refused to let this get to him. Now things had been said, he knew what course of action to take. He had to return to Neriah right away.

"Is there anything I can do, Kadaj?" Loz asked, watching the teenager with dead eyes. The boy wasn't looking and simply waved Loz away, disgruntled.

"I need nothing. Return when I contact you. I'm tired," he snapped and disappeared into another room, leaving Loz alone.

He didn't need telling twice. He was gone.

* * *

**AN: **One last author note to give a sneak preview to the next chapter! Coming up – Struggle. Hints of what's to come? We're going to see some struggling, I can tell you. Things are starting to heat up folks and trouble is definitely brewing. I can also announce it's the last chapter of part two and that we will be starting part three in chapter sixteen. We're heading to the last act, folks, so keep on reading! Love you all – Cat Alex. 


	15. Struggle

**AN:** It's been a long while, hasn't it? I'm not going to make excuses, but I have a life to lead, which gets in the way of this. But now I found some time to write, and this got my attention first. Thank you to the reviews I have got – every one is appreciated immensely. CuteChibiChocoCloud does win the 'got me thinking about Destined Paths again' reward, though. Thanks!

**Chapter Fifteen: Struggle**

The days became long and boring. I wasn't talking to Loz, and he seemed content to make sure I was alright before disappearing to another part of the ruined house and waste away the hours. I just couldn't bring myself to say anything to him. I wasn't outwardly… anything to him. All my anger had burned out, leaving a defeated shell.

The day we had had our big argument, he had eventually come back with an expressionless face. He was becoming good at hiding his feelings now. Wordlessly, he had put down a package beside me on the bed and then disappeared to the second floor, despite the ruined stairs. I didn't ask how he did it no matter how it irritated me wondering. I had sat on the bed, eyeing the package with interest, but determined for him to be well away before I laid hands on it. Once the house was completely silent again, my hand hungrily inched over and grabbed it.

I couldn't help but give it a little shake to try and guess what it could be before opening it up. Jingling could be anything. So I tore it open and a shower of metal shapes fell onto the bed. My first thought was, '_He brought me pieces of metal as a makeup gift?'_ before I scooped one up to find I was holding a throwing star. Then my heart went dead.

He still wanted me to fight, and instead of razor blades – an infinitely cheaper weapon set – he got me a plain, but well made, set of throwing stars. My emotions flared and the idea of testing them out on Lozbecame alluring, but I just sat there, staring at them littered beside me.

In that moment, the clawing desperation of escape gripped me and I swallowed a scream that welled in my chest. Instead, I gathered the throwing stars up and placed them in the cupboard that housed the low level materia.

And now I just wander through the decrepit house, with nothing to do but contemplate the fact I am just a pawn in the affairs of others. I question Loz's feelings for me, for surely he would side with me if he truly loved me? And to love me, this child has to be included.

"Neriah."

I spun around to see Loz standing in the doorway, looking tired. I do not know where he sleeps now, for he has not dared approach the bed since the argument – almost a week ago.

"What?" I said, my voice feeling unused and odd. He looked at me with this horrible look; as if he had a myriad of things he wanted to say, but where we stood right now meant he couldn't say them. I kept still, my face reflecting nothing of what I felt. No-one seemed to look as they felt any longer. Everything was a mask of some sort.

"I have been summoned by Kadaj. I don't know how long I'll be gone. Keep your weapons close," he said unemotionally, adjusting his Dual Hound in a fidgety manner. Some people's masks weren't as good as others.

"Okay." I wished I could have said more, had the courage to say I wasn't angry any longer, that I was tired of fighting, that I wanted to…

But I said nothing.

And neither did he. Loz just gave me a nod that was almost a bow and left, giving me one last look that conveyed all kinds of things that made my heart ache. It sent a chill down my spine. Why did this feel like the last time?

Panicked, I went to the cupboard and dug the throwing stars out. If anyone but Loz came through those doors, they would have a hell of a welcome.

* * *

Time passed, as it always does. With nothing to do, I sat in a corner of the room, staring at the door, waiting for someone to walk through.

And no matter how much adrenaline you have, it runs out. I grew tired and tried so hard to keep my eyes open, but to no avail. Eventually, I fell asleep.

I woke easily at the sound of a slight click of the front door and was immediately sent into high alert. I jumped to my feet and was ready to attack. The tone of light from the window told me it had been a few hours and my stomach flopped in horror. It had to Loz, it had to be…

The door opened and my mouth opened with disbelieving dismay.

"Hello," said Kadaj, smiling at me while those snake eyes focused on me like prey.

"No," I whispered and drew out the throwing stars. I mentally thanked Loz for giving them to me, even if it was for the wrong reasons and took my chance.

Kadaj laughed as I hurled my weapons at him, taking care to aim at different vital points on his body. His sword came out and flashed around him, blindingly fast. The clinks of the stars hitting the ground made me feel sick. Kadaj stood, sword in hand. I noticed the twin blades when it moved deadly quick again, seeming to stab wildly at the floor. Then I realised when I heard the crunching noise he was destroying one of my only hopes. The throwing stars were now worse than scrap.

"Where did you get those, I wonder?" he teasingly asked, pushing the door behind him shut painfully slowly.

"Where is Loz?" I asked, keeping as still as possible. I had no personal dealings with Kadaj, but had heard enough to be extremely wary of him. Unstable, powerful and violent – the last person someone carrying a child needed to be dealing with.

"I led Loz on a little false chase of my own devising," Kadaj told me softly, pacing like a prowling cat and sending me on high alert. His eyes watched me like I was prey - that I wasn't even human and I knew I was defenceless. I had to protect my baby at all costs.

"G-get away, Kadaj!" I commanded, but my voice faltered and failed as he kept his cat's eyes training on me, lightly stepping about in an idle circle. He turned and seemed to be thinking, his finger tapping his lips on occasion.

"I wondered why Loz kept you hidden here. He did it to keep you away from me, so I couldn't see the wonderful progress you've made. How many months? _Don't lie_," his voice hardened to steel at his last words and I froze. If I lied, I could put myself in danger.

'_Loz, where are you? Come back now!'_ I thought hopelessly while shakily opening my mouth.

"Two months," I said hollowly, my mouth dry. I tried to work moisture into my mouth, but it was useless. Kadaj's eyes widened delightedly and for a brief moment he almost appeared normal and sane.

"My, two months… Loz did do a good job with you, didn't he? The plan of course was to catch a girl and alternate her between us… a greater chance of success. It was going to be a competition. However, I had far better things to do and Yazoo was a little disgusted with the idea of sleeping with a human. We're above humans, Mother tells us. And she is right. It left Loz, our resident muscle head to do the job. He was quite enthused to do the job too. We should have realised when he took you that it wasn't just that you were a good choice, but that it was something more. But everyone makes mistakes, correct?" he paused to look at me and I silently nodded, fear and adrenalin rushing through my system. I couldn't move, I was so afraid.

"It's time to amend this mistake, though. The child will get the correct treatment and when the time is right, they'll come with me. I'm afraid Jenova's head is dead, but she lives on in me," his tone became softly sinister and I moved as far away from him as possible, panic strangling any cries.

"No, keep away!" I choked out, my chest tightening as he stepped closer, gracefully extracting a hypodermic needle from his boot and twirling it between slender fingers. I watched in horror as he unclipped his shoulder pads and took his top off.

"I can't roll leather sleeves up," he explained with a smirk before extracting blood from his forearm. He wasn't… he couldn't…

"Time for your injection, Neriah," he said in a singsong voice that made my skin crawl. I shuffled back only to hit the wall and a sob finally caught in my throat. I bit my lip fiercely, refusing to let a tear drop in this monster's presence. He knelt beside me and grabbed my arm, but I obstinately tried to pull it away with a vicious tug. His grip was unbelievably tight and he simply pulled my arm toward him and placed the needle close to my face.

"Do you want to be injected in the wrong place?" he taunted and I unwillingly relaxed, if only to get this unavoidable task over with. His tilted his head, watching me with his cold blank eyes and a small smirk appeared on his lips.

"It's alright. I haven't got any diseases, if you're worried about that," he whispered and plunged the needle into my arm. I gasped, but he released my arm and hushed me with his fingers on my lips.

"Sshhh… it's over now," he said with a smile and threw the needle into the bin from where we sat. He gave my barely showing stomach a rub before standing and pulling his top and shoulder pads back on. He stepped away from my hunched form and left, neatly shutting the doors. All I could do was break down into a flood of tears and rub at my arm as if to somehow remove the taint Kadaj had injected into me.

What had that lunatic done to me?

* * *

When Loz arrived at the gangland sector, he knew something was amiss. The gangs were hanging around in their respective packs around the construction site. They eyed him with interest, but he ignored him. A job was a job.

He saw the mobs, but strolled past them and headed into the wrecked building where the gang speeches were held. Nothing. He must have missed something.

He recalled the summons; Yazoo sought him out, looking blank as usual, though his eyes seemed to pick up on the fact he was on a floor with no stairs in a destroyed room fixing a wooden desk. Yazoo didn't ask how Loz knew how to work wood, just as Loz didn't enquire to anything that involved Yazoo divulging his own past.

* * *

"_Yeah?" Loz had asked without looking up. Yazoo had been as silent as inhumanly possible. It was both to prevent the girl Neriah from hearing him, and in case he could glean any information should Loz be talking to the girl. However, he had been surprised to find his brother on the second floor of the building. He distinctly recalled when Loz first scouted the place out for holding their chosen person to bear the second Sephiroth that the second floor was useless for habitation, even if there were stairs to it. Yet here he was._

"_Kadaj wants you for a job," Yazoo explained, but only elicited a unconvinced grunt from Loz._

"_And why can't you do it?"_

"_I have my own business to attend, brother. And it requires your own particular brand of people skills to handle," said Yazoo, shifting his gaze from Loz's back to examine the rest of the room. The room was just a desk and a chair, with some rubbish gathered in one corner. Clearly something had occurred between the Loz and the girl for him to be up here. Perhaps the plan Kadaj had in mind had no need to be enacted. Yazoo's heart felt heavy with the knowledge he was luring his brother away from here while Kadaj carried out his plan. Yazoo had no desire after getting Loz out of here to be around. He wasn't sure what to do with himself. Sides were becoming blurred and he concerned himself over why seeing Loz begin to make a life for himself was unsettling him so._

_He would simply have to think about that after this deed._

_Loz stood and looked at Yazoo. His eyes were stony, something Yazoo didn't see often, since Loz was one of the most emotional out of the three of them._

"_Fine. I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Now, go off and attend whatever the hell Kadaj has got you doing," Loz snapped._

_Yazoo gave nothing away with his unperturbed expression, but he was shocked at Loz's behaviour. He didn't believe Loz had ever been like this with him before. Perhaps he suspected foul play, or the potential argument he'd had with the girl had put him in a mood._

_He gave a short bow before noiselessly leaving Loz to contemplate his situation. He'd never felt so helpless in his life. He didn't know what to do anymore. Punching a hole in the desk, he stood and went to tell Neriah what was going on.

* * *

_

Loz stood, unsure what to do. Kadaj had asked him to sabotage a meeting that was supposed to be taking place in a few hours. The gang in question were the most powerful next to the three silver haired men. Kadaj had explained if they gathered enough followers, the numbers could be troublesome, no matter how much power they wielded. After all, there would only ever be three of them until their plan was realised.

Loz had listened, nodded, and kept calm. No matter how much he was beginning to hate Kadaj, he couldn't let the boy know. Kadaj could be fairly oblivious when it came to other's feelings, but Loz couldn't risk letting a single drop of his anger touch the boy. A single drop of anger could light Kadaj up like a keg of explosives.

So he had been placid and left with a falsely pleased smile, as if Kadaj's mission had been a blessing.

But now apprehension and suspicion were crawling in his skin. The place was deserted and the gangs hanging about outside were small in numbers and appeared to have no intention of talking to anyone.

"Kadaj… what are you doing…?" Loz growled before turning around.

In a flash of blue, he had taken off.

* * *

The fear was unbearable. I kept expecting Kadaj to come back through the door with Yazoo and carry me off before Loz could return. If he could return. What if they decided he'd become a threat to their plans? Would they kill him, when they supposedly considered him a brother?

It made those horrible sob choke up in me again. I clutched a few shards of the crushed throwing stars in my hands. Too hard. I was amassing a network of cuts on the palms of my hands. But I was too afraid to go unarmed, and this was all I had. The shadows of weapons.

I heard the front door come off the hinges and I involuntarily screamed. He'd come back to take me away. I hauled myself to my feet and stood shaking like a wretch, still clutching the shards. The accuracy would be abominable, but I was desperate and scared enough to try anything.

"Neriah!" I heard Loz yell and the door banged open to reveal him safe and sound. My heart collapsed in my chest; the fear and adrenaline keeping me alert for so long, just knowing finally for a time I was safe made my body fold up from exhaustion.

Loz grabbed me, holding me tight.

"What happened?" he growled, looking at me with such intensity I trembled. Instinctively, my arms grasped him, glad that I was safe, even if for a short while.

"He injected me," I sobbed, inconsolable in Loz's arms, my body shuddering from such distressed crying. The fear of what those cells would do to me was the worst. What had that insane boy Kadaj done to me?

"W-what will happen to me?" I shakily asked through the sob, a strain of desperation gripping me, needing to know the truth. I pulled back, my hands gripping his arms with some kind of unknown strength that made Loz frown with concern as my knuckles went white, tears forgotten.

"Neriah you're… hurting me," he told me with a tone of surprise as his face became one of confusion. I got a hold of myself and let go, my hands dropping to my sides, shaking. Loz was eyeing me warily, as if I was something to be afraid of and I started to cry again. He pulled me to him, but the slight bump of my stomach meant I couldn't meld my body to him like I used to and somehow losing this physical connection made the emotional tumult worse.

"What will happen?" I whispered, my head resting on his broad muscled chest and I felt it rise suddenly as he sighed.

"You'll change slightly. One injection won't affect you very much, not as much as our child. Already your strength has increased. You'll maybe begin to hear a… voice. Faint, in snippets, telling you things," he said softly and we fell silent as I processed this. So, I've got the taint of Jenova in me now. How can you accept such a thing? But then again, how can you not? There is no other choice; it cannot be removed like an infection. It's like… an incurable disease I'll have to live. I felt sick at the notion.

There was simply too much to think about. My child will suffer from the same affliction. And we have to get away, and as soon as possible. Kadaj knows the score and he must know that Loz is aware of being tricked. I looked to Loz.

He had never looked more angry and serious. It set me on edge, but also reassured me. This anger was directed firmly in Kadaj's direction.

"What are we going to do, Loz?" I asked fearfully, lightly gripping his arms.

"We're going to get out of here," he decided stonily.

Everything was rushing at me – what had happened, what was going to happen, what could happen. It made me sob. Stupid, girlish sobs. I couldn't cry like a woman and be strong when it all got too much.

"Loz… will we really?" I asked and he almost crushed me against him.

"We will."

**End of Part Two: Future Plans**

**AN: **A quick peek at the next chapter? Well, we are now into the third and final part of this story. Part three is called (drumrolll please)… New Beginnings. And chapter sixteen will be… well, I don't want to give too much away. But since it may be a while till the next update… we'll find out what side Yazoo takes, while Loz and Neriah have to bust out of Midgar big time before it's too late. Thanks again, Cat Alex.


	16. Escape

**End of Part Two: Future Plans**

**P a r t T h r e e: New Beginnings**

**Chapter Sixteen: Escape**

Life had become a whirlwind of events – Kadaj's attack, our decided escape, the frenzied planning. It made my heart pound with excitement and fear. I hadn't really left the house in so long, it became a little frightening facing the real world. That didn't mean I didn't want to leave – by no means was I willing to remain in the house any longer. The memory of Kadaj's visit still woke me up in a cold sweat. If I caught sight of Loz's hair when just waking from another of those nightmares, it twisted my stomach and made me get up and pace about in my old room until I'd calmed down. It wasn't his fault and it made me feel guilty. I knew he must be aware of me getting up randomly, but he didn't mention it at all. Loz probably put it down to the stress of planning out getaway without being caught by the other two.

It was going to fall apart. Kadaj knew that Loz was aware of his deceit, and that if he cared for me like he suspected, he'd do something about it, be it lashing out or running. By that logic, he must be waiting for us to make a move. And given his condition of impatience, flying through a variety of states and tiring out, it was unlikely he'd watch us personally. That left Yazoo, a man who Loz spoke of with fondness, while I had less than affectionate memories of the brief times we'd encountered each other. Bluntly, I detested the man. He frightened me almost as much as Kadaj did. And I had difficulty believing what Loz told me about him, that the Yazoo I encountered wasn't what the man was actually like. But I simply couldn't consolidate those two very different personalities into Yazoo.

Still, I knew if he did side with us, I could hold no grudge to him any longer. Helping to grant my freedom would forever leave me in his debt. The mere thought of being able to escape and be free set my heart fluttering with a myriad of feelings; excitement, trepidation, hope, even sadness. I was probably never going to be able to return to Midgar again, or see Beliqua. Maybe in the future I could try to find her again, when things were safer. But my story was so unbelievable… how could she even accept my story over the more fitting idea that I abandoned her?

I sighed. All these complications were crowding my brain. Amongst all this, I carried a child. It was too disturbing to put all of it together in my head. I fretted a lot over how our child was going to turn out, now I'd been infected. I hadn't heard a voice… but with Jenova's head dead, did Jenova still live? I had no idea. According to Loz, Kadaj still heard Jenova, but Kadaj was crazy. Perhaps he only thought he heard her. I could only hope that was the case, and I didn't start hearing things.

I pushed those thoughts aside in favour of continuing to plan. I sorted out all the things Loz brought back. He was out at the moment, probably doing something to do with our escape. We mostly spoke at night, where we could voice our fears covered by darkness. During the day we arranged things, barely needing to communicate.

I still waited for the day when Kadaj and Yazoo burst in and either kidnapped or killed me.

The escape plan was all that kept my hopes up.

I had to believe in Loz.

Loz knew he couldn't return to Kadaj's headquarters to carry on his act after what the boy had done, nor could he storm into the place and attempt to take Kadaj and Yazoo out. But with the anger bubbling inside of him, it was certainly tempting.

Instead, he had carefully picked his way through Midgar, buying things for the journey. Basic things, like decent travelling clothes. It gave him time to think about what was going on.

'_How did I get here? In less than a year I went from villain to running from who I thought were my brothers. Love is twisted.'_

He headed back to the house, keeping his eyes on the lookout for signs of being followed. Loz was aware it was rather futile – Kadaj and Yazoo had always been better at concealing themselves than he ever could – but it didn't stop him from trying. He told himself he could get lucky.

'_Because I've been so lucky so far,'_ he thought with a slight grimace.

Their plan was pretty simple; Loz was going to try and stir up the gangs against Kadaj and hopefully incite fighting in order to create a distraction so they could slip away, picking their way through destroyed buildings for cover.

It wasn't the greatest plan ever, but it was all that could be done. If the distraction didn't work, then Loz knew he'd probably had to fight. He still held trust in Yazoo, who might merely observe and leave them be. But Loz knew his loyalty to Kadaj, and that he might feel obligated to inform Kadaj of what they were doing.

Loz opening the fixed front door and entered the bedroom, placing the things he'd bought onto the bed. Their preparations were almost complete. Loz just wanted to do a quick run through of the route they were going to take under the cover of darkness. The riskiest part of the plan, though, was going to be when he incited the gangs. He'd be dangerously close the Kadaj's base of operations, and if they came out before he'd left, he'd be in trouble. But speed and strength were a gift of his, which he hoped wouldn't fail him when he needed them most.

Neriah sorted the things he'd brought out, placing them into the bags he'd bought from a market stall a week ago. Then she sat down beside him and silently hugged him.

Loz was determined to get through this. The thought of being able to live and experience life as it was meant to be called to him. He wanted to make his dream reality.

In a matter of days, they would see if they sank or swum.

The day had arrived. I was nervous, but felt up to potentially running for my life. My fitness had probably decreased a great deal, since I had spent so long cooped up in a house, and I was pregnant, but I had to do my best.

We had our bags, money and now all I had to do was wait for Loz to return to the house after causing the distraction that could buy us enough time to get out of here finally.

This was the most nerve racking bit for me; if Loz failed, this was it. The slightest sound was making me jump. I didn't know who was going to end up coming through that door.

Half an hour ticked by, and I could feel my resolve begin to falter. How long did it take to get gangs to fight? Usually they would pick a fight over anything.

The door rattled and opened. I fell back, retreating to beside the other door. I didn't think shutting myself in the next room should it not be Loz would do me much good, but it was all I could think to do.

The door to the bedroom opened and Loz came in, looking a little tired. I rushed to him.

"Are you all right? Can we leave?" I asked, holding his arms carefully.

He looked at me and slowly smiled. I sighed in relief and hugged him tight before getting his bag and handing it to him.

"It was fine; the gangs I stirred up decided that I needed to be taught a lesson. I had to deal with a few before running. I didn't spot Kadaj or Yazoo anywhere, but that doesn't mean anything, so we better get going," he explained.

I nodded. He took my hand and we left the house.

We had to jog along, weaving our way through buildings in our quest for the Midgar borders. I spent most of my time just admiring the sky and surroundings whenever I could. I found myself choked up at all the visual stimuli; the colours, the life!

We slipped through a particularly bad patch of wreckage; a building that retained its four floors, though only just. It looked like a fire had blackened the inside of the entire building. Loz led me through a winding path created by charred tables and chairs.

Loz glanced at me; I suppose he was checking to see if I could keep up fine. To be honest, I was starting to tire. I hadn't walked so much in months.

"You are leaving," came the soft voice of Yazoo from a corner as the two of us walked by a gaping doorway. We both froze in shock and turned our eyes to the shadowed figure only now making himself visible. Yazoo always was able to blend into the shadows like that and I wondered how he did it when the slightest hint of light made Yazoo's silver hair shine like a halo.

I knew my legs were trembling; so we couldn't escape their eyes. Our fate now lay in this man's hands.

"We are," Loz said in his steeliest tone, hinting on the barely contained violence I could feel from skin contact. His body was so tense and rigid; he was on the brink of lashing out just to ensure my safety. It both touched and worried me.

Yazoo was expressionless at first, but it soon wavered in favour of seeking Loz's gaze, as if to make him understand.

"Kadaj has truly gone insane and there is nothing to be done. Loz… take Neriah away. It is unsafe for her in this condition with Kadaj loose and dangerous. Loz, he tried to kill me," Yazoo explained gently, his fair brows furrowed. He looked upset to me, which surprised me. I had never seen Yazoo upset. His demeanour had generally been calm indifference or the occasional touch of anger. I had always got the impression there was a bubbling pot of violence in him just waiting for the trigger to unleash it.

Loz's eyes widened slightly and he relaxed, but his arm pulled me closer to him.

"I'm sorry to hear that, but we're going far away from here," Loz said his face turning stony again.

"You…," I couldn't believe I had even opened my mouth, "you could come with us, Yazoo, and get away from Kadaj before he hurts you," I offered and I realised tears were forming so my vision was starting to swim slightly. My bottom lip trembled a little and I gripped Loz's arm for comfort. He briefly looked at me, his face softening before he returned his gaze to Yazoo. Stupid emotions. This man partially tormented me when Loz had been away on business, and now I feel sorry for him?

Perhaps because he is trapped like I was trapped? Should I really wish him free as I am now being freed? Grudgingly, my conscious said '_yes_'.

… Yes, I suppose I do. When those you love turn on you, even when they are not mentally well… it must hurt. Deeply. That's what I saw when I looked at Yazoo. And it made my heart begin to feel for him, even when my brain told me this man was something to reject with my entire being after his treatment of me.

"I cannot. Perhaps once Kadaj is well again, I shall travel," he said shortly, but his eyes had a longing in them. I'm sure he wanted to leave, but his duty to Kadaj took precedent, just like Loz's duty – or maybe devotion – to me took precedent over Kadaj and Yazoo. I felt rather relieved he rejected the offer.

"And what if he never gets better?" Loz questioned. I was surprised he was finally admitting that Kadaj may never get better – that he would always be mad and corrupted. I knew only a little about the private conversations Loz and Yazoo had about Kadaj and his health, but what I did know is that they never mentioned Kadaj's recovery; it was an unspoken, denied topic.

Yazoo turned his head away, but I caught the pain on his androgynous features. His long hair fell across his face and he shook his head.

"If he does not… I do not know. I hope he will recover, but Mother… she did a lot of damage to his mind, I think. I may take him to a doctor to be looked at, though I doubt he would allow such a thing. Go," he finished abruptly, strolling away into the shadows.

"Yazoo!" I called out at the empty gloom where Yazoo had disappeared, "One last thing!"

I waited with baited breath, wondering if he would return. My hands clasped together nervously in the empty silence. This was my last chance to thank him for not turning us in, or trying to kill us. I had to attempt to clear that debt to him, even if it was only a very little. Several moments passed before a glimmer of silver hair emerged from the shadows. His eyes met mine, calm, but tired now, and upset.

"When the baby is born, I was wondering… if you do get away, come find us. I… I would like you to be the godfather," I told him. It was the only way I could think of thanking him and nervously extending a hand of friendship. Perhaps in time I could learn who he really was.

Yazoo's face crumpled with grief before brightening to a watery smile.

"I would like that, Neriah. Thank you. Loz?" he swivelled his head to Loz, who was hovering protectively by my side. He stepped forward to Yazoo, who approached him and embraced the man who, for some years, was his brother.

"I hope we can still be brothers, Loz," I heard him say softly and Loz nodded as they parted and stepped back.

"Yeah, I'd like that," he gruffly answered and they formally nodded and turned; Yazoo fading into the dark while Loz took my arm and we departed.

"That was a kind thing you did, Neriah, wanting Yazoo to be the baby's godfather," said Loz and I felt awkward.

"He looked so dejected. I wished… I wanted him to have something to perhaps smile about. He looks like he will never smile," I explained, uncomfortable at admitting that perhaps I had got the man wrong and want to try and make some kind of amends. Loz just shrugged.

"Yazoo was never one for smiling from pleasure. Maybe one day everything can be put behind us and we can live as ourselves. We all had our pretences to hide our true feelings."

I sighed and nodded. At least we were going to get away. Finally.

"Where are we going to go?" I asked, as we finally reached the edges of Midgar.

I smiled when I saw the stretching grassland. I'd seen it a few times, and had imagined how one day I would go through them, defending myself from monsters while seeing the sights. With me in this condition, I wondered how far we would travel. Apparently my pregnancy will be half the normal time; and considering how quickly I seemed to be growing, by the time we get far away, I could well be due.

The mere thought of that terrified me.

"We'll go west, across the ocean," said Loz, wistfully, "and then north. I always wanted to see the west and north coast. We need to find somewhere where no-one will go looking."

I smiled. It's exactly what I wanted, too.

"I'd like that a lot."

Loz held my hand as we finally walked out of Midgar and onto the grassy plains.

"Then let's do it."

And we did.

**AN: Sorry it's so short, and been so long with an update. I really want to finish all my stories, for those who read them (if anyone does). This is comprised of stuff written a very long time ago, and brand spanking new material. Hopefully, I will one day end this. There's only about three more chapters to go. Gah! Sorry! Hope you like!**


	17. Travelling

**Chapter Seventeen: Travelling**

Our journey wasn't exactly smooth sailing. For starters, I was feeling quite weighed down with a baby on the way. I was so used to simply being able to run around as I pleased in the past that having this new responsibility and body shape was somewhat frustrating.

We took some weeks to get around the mountainous terrain to get to Junon, Loz fighting off any creatures that labelled us as their dinner. I was getting scared that it was taking too long to hide ourselves away. This pregnancy was progressing at a frightening speed. We had perhaps two months at most to find somewhere out of the way to settle.

And I didn't even want to think about the whole safety issue. Mountainous terrain, heat, cold – there were too many things to worry about. I had heard of the tiny settlement up on the northern continent, as it was part of the grand story of defeating Sephiroth. It didn't matter if the baby was slightly enhancing me – I was still carrying extra weight. I couldn't imagine myself climbing a mountain to get to that little village… what was it called?

I looked over at Loz, who was looking out over Junon harbour, watching for the next passenger ship to get in from our hotel window.

"What is the place we're going called again?" I asked.

"Hell?" he joked and I smacked his arm.

"Very funny."

Loz smirked and rubbed his face.

"Icicle Inn. All the snowboarders and skiers flock there, apparently. I caught sight of a newspaper talking about some town expansions throughout the world as a lot of people are leaving Neo Midgar to seek their fortunes elsewhere."

"I don't blame them, especially with all the Silver Haired Men instances," I said, giving him a meaningful look. Loz sheepishly scratched the back of his neck.

"Yeah, well… that's over now. At least, I hope so." Loz sighed and got up.

"I'm going to ask when the next ship is meant to get in. I hate waiting," he said and left our room.

We were both antsy about getting off the continent. This was the only place we could cross the ocean, and so if Kadaj decided to come for us, here would be the prime location to catch us. I worried that there would be a last ditch attempt at simply revenge for ruining his plans, with no capturing, just killing. That was the last thing we needed after the hell we'd endured at the hands of Kadaj. Now I just wanted to sink into anonymity and let the matter forever rest.

I felt a faint shift in my stomach. Though I was only around three months, I looked closer to six.

"All this drama should be over soon," I whispered, giving my stomach a pat.

I still felt the sensation of the Jenova cells I'd been injected with. I couldn't imagine what it felt like to have the dose Loz and the others had. The amount I had made me feel a little off, as if I'd been given some drug that never quite wore off. I suppose I would just have to live with it, I thought with a sigh.

Loz came into the room with a grin.

"Hey, the boat's now coming in," he announced and I stood up.

"Great! Let's get going," I said, and Loz picked up our things, refusing to let me carry anything, to my annoyance.

We went down the cramped stairs and hurried over to the main docking area and stopped at the booth where the tickets were sold. People were crowding around it, all wanting across that ocean. The booth was only just opening up – they didn't seem to sell any tickets in advance.

The ship that had come in was fairly large and clearly only for passengers, and not one of the horrible modified ships I'd heard about that used to be cargo ships. Loz looked satisfied with the boat and paid for our tickets without any fuss.

"All aboard!" a man at the ship entrance cried after lowering the passenger ramp.

Fare paid for, we gratefully got onto the ship. I looked about. No furious Kadaj, or mournful Yazoo trailing alongside. We had done it. I managed a true, happy smile. Loz caught sight of me grinning and returned it, then gave me a kiss.

"You're thinking the same thing, right? 'They didn't follow us'," said Loz, and I nodded.

"It looks like the worst if finally over," I sighed as the anchor was lifted and the ship began to head out to Costa Del Sol.

"Still, I wonder how Yazoo is doing. Kadaj wouldn't…" I trailed, imaging Kadaj attacking Yazoo, who simply stood and took the blows with no more than a sad smile. I shuddered.

Loz gave my shoulder a comforting squeeze.

"Yazoo can take care of himself."

I really hoped so.

* * *

Yazoo sat in a mostly destroyed building right on the outskirts of Neo Midgar. He never wanted to see another person again right then, but knew he was going to eventually have to seek Kadaj out. He body shook with a mixture of emotions and adrenaline. The anxiety had already made him swallow back tears of frustration.

His arms were wrapped tightly around his slim torso, his legs straight out on the dusty ground. How could things have gone so spectacularly wrong? Was this unavoidable fate, or could this have been averted?

Thoughts tumbled through his head. The desire to run into the wilderness never to be heard of again was the strongest thought, followed by what he was going to say to Kadaj. His heart ached. He always ended up being stuck in the middle, even back at the very beginning to their brotherhood. Loz would get overemotional, Kadaj would mock him for being mentally weak, Yazoo would be expected to take a side, despite not wanting to get involved. He needed a life of solitude where he could sit and think and mourn his former life. It sounded pathetic, even in his mind, but he had so much guilt inside of him over his past; it couldn't be ignored, or pushed away. It constantly sat there, like a weight on his soul. Things lost, never to be recovered.

With a sigh, he forced himself to his feet.

"Time to face the music," he whispered and began to run.

Kadaj would help him decide his future, without a doubt.

* * *

"You know, I always wanted to save up enough and travel," I said idly as I watched the sea churn around the bottom of the ship. Loz glanced at me, but raised his head to stare out at the horizon where a fiery sun was sinking in a spectacular burst of warm colours. I still watched the navy sea monotonously wash up against the iron grey of the ship.

"I never thought it would be in these circumstances, understandably," I continued with a mirthless chuckle and Loz faced me with a hurt frown on his face.

"But I think this may work out for the best, so cheer up, Loz. I'm just a little stressed out about actually getting to our destination in one piece," I asserted and Loz relaxed.

"I'll make sure we're all right," he promised, taking hold of my hand. I nodded.

"I know. A part of me is still waiting for some kind of retribution for running."

Loz shook his head.

"Our team relied heavily on the three of us working together. Without all of us, it will fall apart. Yazoo was willing at first to go along with it all, but like me the fire seems to have completely burnt out. Kadaj is the only one with any desire to be violent in him. All we can hope is that he doesn't try to do anything by himself. Though in the state he's in, he probably wouldn't make it out of Neo Midgar, let alone hunt us down," he explained.

I still shuddered at the thought of Kadaj lunging after us, filled with madness.

"Why are you so certain Kadaj won't be able to come after us?" I asked, watching Loz carefully.

Loz gave a soft sigh as he looked in the direction Junon had faded from sight.

"Like I've said before; his mind is strong, but his body falters at time. He's a wreck. He can exert himself for a while, but then he must rest. If he was in a rage and determined to come after us, he'd burn himself out within the hour. He'd be agitated and twitchy and eventually his body would fold up and force him to rest for some time. He'll only prove dangerous if Yazoo aid him. And you don't think he'd do that, do you?" He looked over at me and I closed my eyes and thought back to the last time we'd spoke to Yazoo.

The image of him swam in my head; lost, sad eyes framed by his pale silver hair, somewhat limp from neglect. His thin, austere face crumpled in sadness. So painfully lost.

"No, I don't think he would," I whispered, recalling our conversation, "I think perhaps this war had been over for him longer than we realise. I still don't feel right leaving him in that state. People do strange things when their minds are in dark places like his seemed to be. I'm more scared he did something to himself than teaming up with Kadaj."

Loz put an arm around my shoulder and I opened my eyes.

"He better not, or I'll kick his ass." I chuckled emptily at Loz's words.

"Yazoo is strong, though, isn't he?"

Loz nodded.

"Yeah. But he hid a lot of things. How he felt about what we did, his past, almost all of himself. The only time he was even slightly animated was when he fought people at a similar level to us. And that was only the Planet Savers. There were few moments where I would see a glimmer of who he was. So, in a way, sometimes I don't think I knew him very well. Yet we still seemed to share that brotherly bond. My instincts tell me he'll be okay. I mean, Yazoo standards of okay, which is alive and probably lost in thought," Loz said, then fell silent, looking like he was thinking about Yazoo.

I rubbed my arms and turned away from the churning waves.

"I'm going inside. It's getting cold and looking at the ocean at night is a little disconcerting," I said. Loz followed me without a word.

The cabin we'd been given was small but serviceable. There were two bunks, fairly close together. They didn't look very comfortable, but had a thin sheet and pillow which was better than nothing.

"We should get some sleep while we can. We'll dock at Costa Del Sol in the morning and have to keep moving," Loz said softly, sitting on his bunk. I came over and sat on his lap for a minute, holding him and giving him a quick kiss.

"Yeah," I said, standing and heading to my own bunk. They weren't very comfortable, but they were better than nothing, "I'm feeling pretty tired, but it's mostly from relaxing after expecting Kadaj to come for us and nothing happening."

Loz lay back on his bed and I tugged the thin sheet they provided over me, flipping the lights off.

"Goodnight, Loz."

" 'Night, Neriah. I'll be here if you need me for anything."

I smiled to myself in the dark.

"I know."

It didn't take long for the rocking of the ship to send me to sleep with a dream of hope for tomorrow.

* * *

Yazoo sought out Kadaj. It was night by the time he found him. He was high up, staring emptily over Neo Midgar, their kingdom that could never be.

He felt hollow inside as he carefully drew closer to Kadaj, not wanting to provoke him.

"Kadaj," he started softly, but the younger man sent him a glare.

"I don't want your pity," Kadaj spat and Yazoo lowered his head.

"Then there is nothing more I can do?" Yazoo whispered, and Kadaj breathed heavily, rage at the unfairness of it all building inside him.

"Will you bring them back, kill the woman and make Loz suffer for what he's done?" he hissed.

Yazoo's head snapped up to see Kadaj's eyes burning with that terrible fire for war and destruction.

"… I cannot hurt anyone anymore, Kadaj. I only want to see people get better. I want you to let this go and recover yourself. Mother… no, Jenova, invaded your body for too long over the years. You need rest."

Kadaj gave Yazoo a cold look.

"Then you are of no use to me. Get out of my sight."

Yazoo mournfully disappeared and did not plan to ever return.

Kadaj looked out over the city for what felt like an eternity and knew his war had ended. With an anguished cry, he collapsed and sobbed.

* * *

**AN: Holy moly, I wrote another chapter! And it only took… over a year to do. Wow, did time fly. Sorry if anyone is still following this. I'm doing my best to finish stories I haven't finished off yet, so please, please, please bear with me. I hope this is okay, considering the gap. Thank you so much if you're still on board.**


	18. Advent

**AN: I… I did it?! No way! I've sapped my brain, but I did it! I'd like to thank CuteChibiChocoCloud for the review – it really pushed me to finish chapter eighteen off. There was just so much to cover! Anyway, hope folks enjoy! I had to fire up my copy of FFVII to remind myself of the journey they'd have to undertake, and I forgot how annoying not having analogue controls is. Anyhoo, there's still an epilogue left, which is about half done, but I can see it… that final hurdle! Cheers folks!**

**Chapter Eighteen: Advent**

The boat arrived at Costa Del Sol without a hitch. Loz woke me up just as we were nearing it, and we headed to where everyone would disembark. In the light of the dawn sun, the passengers looked cheerier. My heart certainly felt lighter now we had an ocean between us and Neo Midgar. After everything, I don't think I ever wanted to see that city again.

"We're disembarking!" one of the sailors announced, and a small group of sailors began opening the ship up and pushing out the gangway.

I peeled off a few layers; the heat was in full force. People began getting off the ship and Loz and I followed, immersing ourselves in the crowd. Trying to blend in became second nature. As soon as we were off the ship, we quickly made our way to stock up on supplies and then out of Costa Del Sol.

It wasn't until midday we stopped to rest. The only way to the Northern Continent was apparently from Rocket Town, which had a small airport which ran flights to difficult to reach places such as Wutai, Mideel, and the Northern Continent. According to the map, it was going to be a long winding journey just to get to Rocket Town. We'd only made it across the first of four river crossings. We had to go to the shallowest part of the river and wade, letting the sun and wind dry us off.

"We have to go around the desert around Gold Saucer," Loz explained, stretched out on the grass. I joined him, then blinked.

"Oh! The baby just kicked!" I exclaimed. Loz immediately sat up, looking down at me.

"Really?" He looked like a kid; all wide-eyed. I nodded and put his hand on my stomach. The baby kicked again and Loz laughed.

"I can't believe it…" he said, a soft smile on his face. He leant down and kissed me. We lost ourselves in each other. It was reassuring to have that physical link with Loz; he communicated so much through action, rather than words.

After a while, we sat up and Loz helped me to my feet.

"I know you know this already, but I felt I had to state this again: this is going to take a while," Loz said, looking over at the looming Gold Saucer in the distance.

"It is. At least several weeks, if we're lucky."

And it really did. Skirting around the desert surrounding Gold Saucer took almost a week alone. Several days and one river crossing later, and we were approaching a lot of forests.

"It's getting dark," I pointed out, growing weary of walking. My pregnancy was really starting to take a toll on me and even I began to notice I was slowing down as the days passed.

"I know." Loz had grown grim and I was worried. What had set this off?

"We're near a place we can stay for the night."

He changed direction slightly, heading for a forest off to our right.

"Do you know this area well?" I asked, and Loz got his Dual Hound ready.

"Something like that," he murmured as we entered the forest.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I replied, getting anxious. I hadn't seen him this squirrelly since the early days of knowing him.

"You'll see soon," he promised. It was another hour in the dark and dank forests before I spotted a clearing Loz was heading towards. There had only been a handful of monsters, and they'd been weak and easily dealt with by Loz. He insisted I was not to fight in my condition, much to my chagrin.

When we emerged from the clearing, I suddenly understood. It was the remains of a village.

"Loz… did… did you used to live here?" I whispered, looking around. The place hadn't been touched in years, by the looks of it.

"I grew up here," he said, voice dull, "I thought I should pay my respects, even though this is my fault."

I rubbed my face, unsure how to approach the situation. There were a lot of questions I had, but I wasn't sure whether to ask or not.

"Loz, I know this isn't very helpful, but… are you all right?" I ventured, moving closer to him.

"I don't want to leave here. My old house isn't completely destroyed. We can stay there for the night. There'll be plenty of firewood; this was a lumber village," he said, touching the torn up remains of a nearby house. All the buildings were wooden, lending credence to Loz's information.

I moved in front of him, making him meet my eyes.

"Please don't clam up now. Why did you come back here?"

Loz sighed heavily and sat on the charred porch of the closest house. I carefully sat down beside him.

"I think… I want to say goodbye to this place. I thought a long time ago that I couldn't come back here. But really, I didn't want to face up to what I did. People died here because of me, and I'll bear that for the rest of my life. Jenova pulled the trigger, but I was still the gun."

"You're punishing yourself," I whispered. I didn't blame him; taking lives was a heavy thing. I couldn't imagine how it felt to wipe out your hometown. I felt like I should be disgusted with Loz; hate him for his sins, but I couldn't. I was in too deep now. I laid my head on his broad shoulder.

"Loz, you should try to make peace with this place. I know nothing I'll say will probably penetrate that thick skull of yours, but… a gun doesn't have a choice. Jenova did."

We remained huddled together. Loz put his arm around me, eyes closed. I guess he was reliving the time he'd spent here. I was so helpless. There was nothing I could do or say to make this better.

Eventually, Loz let me go and stood up, looking a little better.

"It's almost dark. We better rest up for tomorrow." Loz offered me a hand up, which I took. He pulled me into an embrace, hands tightening around my waist.

"Thank you for sticking with me, Neriah," he breathed, face pressed against my shoulder.

"Always," I replied.

The night passed without comment and I woke up alone. I quickly got washed and dressed before leaving the house in search of Loz. The village was blanketed in fog, making the place really feel like a ghost town. I pulled my jacket closer to me and wandered into the centre of the remains of the village.

"Loz?" I called out, looking around.

Nothing. I began to walk around the burnt out husks of houses. Nothing was left inside but ashes. Most of the walls remained, but the scars of fire were stark; black covered almost everything.

I eventually noticed a path of felled trees and followed it. It led a short distance away into a small clearing. It was a graveyard. The grave markers were wooden posts with names and dates carved in. Loz was kneeling before all of them, head bowed. I quietly knelt a little way away, and although I didn't really believe in any particular deity, I silently said a prayer for them all, just in case.

After a long time, Loz stood up.

"I told them I know they can't forgive me, but I'm doing my best to live a better life now. And that I was sorry and stuff. I'm no good at this, but I can at least try. I'm never going to use my power to hurt another human, unless to defend the innocent. I guess that's all I can really do."

I came over and hugged him from behind, pressing my body as best as I could against his back.

"Do you feel better?"

"As much as you can staring at the graves of almost all the people I ever killed in my twenty-five years on this planet."

He gently pulled my hands away so he could face me.

"I'm as good as I'm going to get, Neriah. We should go."

I wordlessly nodded and began making our way through the swathe of forests between us and another river to cross. As the temperature rose along with the sun, the fog slowly cleared, making things much easier. A few days later we had crossed another river and stood at the beginning of Cosmo Canyon. I looked over the massive rock formation, even redder and beautiful in the blaze of the setting sun.

"It's… breathtaking," I inhaled, unable to take my eyes off it.

Loz didn't look so fussed. He was staring at the Cosmo Canyon settlement in the middle, with a light frown.

"What's up?" I said, giving him a slight nudge, "You owe a guy some money over there?"

"We have to get through the canyon as quickly as possible. The residents won't like us here. We definitely can't set foot in the settlement." He sounded grim.

I looked from the village worked into the rock, where tiny lights were appearing as the sun slowly sunk, to Loz.

"We can't stay there? Why?"

Loz knelt and began putting the firewood we'd gathered earlier into a pile and setting it alight.

"They have people who are in tune with the Planet. They won't welcome those with Jenova's cells."

I sat down, shocked.

"Oh."

There were people who could tell? It was a strange thought. I felt odd all night and had difficulty sleeping; it was as if Loz's words had stirred up Jenova's cells. Well, it definitely reminded me of what I had now become; slightly tainted. All because of that psycho Kadaj. I hadn't thought of Kadaj in a while, either. Once I'd finally fallen asleep, I had disturbing dreams of Kadaj and Jenova's cells. When I woke up next morning, I felt like I'd hardly slept.

But we pushed on. Loz was adamant we get through the canyon as quick as possible. When I got tired, he even hoisted me into his arms and sped up. Once we got past without incident, Loz visibly relaxed, setting me on my feet again.

"Just a little further," said Loz as we camped out again for the night.

The next morning, I looked back and began to realise how far we'd really come, and therefore how close to Icicle Inn we were getting.

After yet another river crossing, there was a small plain before looming mountains.

"We'll need to pass through those to get to Rocket Town. Then our journey will almost be over," Loz said, staring at the Nibelheim mountains with a glint of determination in his eye. He'd definitely perked up after putting Cosmo Canyon behind him. I was a little sad I'd probably never get to see the place, even though I'd been so close, but I knew I had to put that behind me, now. More important things had come up and sightseeing didn't compare to keeping my baby safe.

By nightfall, we were on Nibelheim's doorstep. I looked over at Loz.

"Are we going to stay overnight there?"

He shook his head.

"The place is a ghost town. I'd rather be out here than in there. It makes my village look hospitable," he explained and I trusted him. He really didn't look pleased at the prospect of going through there.

The next day confirmed Loz's claims; Nibelheim was eerie. The place was deserted, though the place appeared undamaged. We hurried through, only to end up going through the mountains. And let me tell you, the mountains around Nibelheim were treacherous. The paths seemed to wind endlessly and were narrow, making me nervous with every step. You would have thought people would have made them safer, but apparently not enough people crossed through the mountains to warrant it. I suppose with the rise in air travel, people went over or around nowadays.

To my horror, we had to camp out on the mountain overnight. I hardly slept and refused to let go of Loz, keeping an iron grip around his waist. We were both grumpy in the morning, since I kept both of us up and didn't speak much the rest of the way through the mountains. I was glad to finally go underground rather than skirt around those peaks, freezing at every sound of rocks shifting.

I breathed a sigh of relief when we emerged on level grassy ground. I gave Loz a squeeze.

"I thought we'd never get out!" I almost wailed, and Loz rolled his eyes.

"That mountain really had you freaked out," he observed.

"Heights that great should scare anyone!"

Loz just smirked.

"So that's your ultimate weakness. You do know we're going to live right beside a massive snowy mountain, right?"

I shrugged.

"Sure, but it's not like I'm planning to scale the stupid thing," I replied and Loz laughed.

"I'm going to have to teach you mountain climbing if it's the last thing I do."

"Whatever."

I looked out across the grassy expanse. Our enhanced vision picked up on Rocket Town in the distance with relative ease.

"So what do you know about Rocket Town?" I asked, straining my vision to see more, but failed. The most I could make out was there were a bunch of houses and a massive tilted rocket.

"We'll have to keep a low profile there. One of the Planet Savers' base is here. They set up the air transport company we're going to use. They should be still in Neo Midgar, though, sorting out or at least trying to work out what happened. Kadaj may have still lashed out, or sunk into the shadows," said Loz, scratching the back of his head nervously.

Getting news was difficult while travelling, and we couldn't interact a great deal with anyone we came across, so we wouldn't hear much of Neo Midgar unless something drastic happened.

"I hope he let that foolishness go," I sighed.

"Me, too, but you never know with that kid. Anyway… the town's expanded a fair amount over the years, and because of the transport company, unfamiliar faces should raise suspicion with the locals. Either way, best to just get our tickets and stay in the inn until our flight."

I nodded.

"Got it. It doesn't look like there's much to see there, beside the rocket, and I can pretty much see that from here."

We didn't reach Rocket Town until the next morning, camping yet again in the wilderness. I was still stiff from sleeping on the hard ground when we finally breezed into the town. Like a guided missile, Loz headed straight for the massive hangar, where a nearby building sat labelled 'Highwind Air Facilities'. Inside the building were some friendly workers who sold airship tickets. A queue had already built up, and we patiently waited.

"Hi there, how can I help?" a chirpy brunette eventually asked when we got to the front.

"Hello, we'd like to purchase two tickets to Icicle Inn, please," Loz said with a smile and the woman nodded and began typing.

"Okay, let's see… we only run flights there once a week. The next flight is two days from now, and there are seats available," she said.

"We'll take it," he replied and made the transaction.

True to his word, we laid low. It was a little disheartening, but I knew soon we'd have proper freedom… walking around without expecting lunatics to attack freedom. Loz ventured out once to buy some supplies, including some thick winter coats in preparation for the Icicle Inn temperatures, for which I was grateful. It was then it kind of hit me that I was going to have to get used to the cold.

"How do you feel about the cold, Loz?" I asked while staring at the ceiling of the inn. Loz was lying beside me, arms folded behind his head and eyes closed, though I knew he wasn't asleep.

"I don't know… Apart from the occasional dip in temperature in Neo Midgar, I've never been in a super cold environment. And with the Jenova cells, it might not affect me as much. Temperatures have never really bothered me. I can wear my leather outfit without overheating like most."

"Hey, I guess you're right."

His leather outfit had been packed but not worn since we'd left Neo Midgar. I don't know if he ever planned to wear it again, or if he'd kept it as a reminder. I had mixed emotions when I set eyes on it when sorting through our luggage. It contained good and bad memories, but I mostly associated it as being his uniform while working under Kadaj. And the mere thought of Kadaj made my heart start to pound as those hateful memories surfaced. I hoped one day to make peace with them, but for now I pushed them down and focused on our final leg of our journey.

* * *

The flight was absolutely amazing! It was my first time on an airship. There were observation decks, which is where a lot of passengers gathered. Everyone seemed to be heading to Icicle Inn for snowboarding, mountain climbing, or exploration. A few scientists were aboard, with a mountaineering party in order to get into the crater. I had no idea precisely what they were looking for, but they seemed really excited about it.

I spent almost the entire flight looking down at the land passing below. I think it might have kicked the view of Cosmo Canyon at sunset off the number one most breathtaking sight. Loz was jovial during the flight and we chatted and pointed out stuff below we caught sight of, such as the shoal of flying fish Loz claimed to see, but I apparently missed.

But it soon came to an end; the flight was no more than an hour. I kind of wished Icicle Inn was a little further away. The airship landed on a green patch of land not far off from Icicle Inn. Icicle Inn was only a fifteen minute walk away. Everyone filed in, and I looked around with a grin.

"So this is going to be our new home," I whispered, pulling my winter coat closer around my throat. Loz put his hand around my waist.

"Yeah. We have enough money to have a small house built. Then we can start a little business and maybe expand. But for now, we'll have to stay at the famous inn of Icicle Inn. You know why it's called Icicle Inn?"

"Ahah! I know this one! Finally, I know something about the places we travel through! Originally, all that was here was the large inn over there. Over time, more people settled, slowly building the village up, but they never changed the name. Hence, Icicle Inn," I said smugly, folding my arms. Loz raised his hands.

"You got me. I just travelled through a lot of places and picked up stuff… before, you know?"

I gave Loz and squeeze and a peck on the cheek.

"I know, and I love that you stored it all away for our future use. Now, let's explore for a while!"

Admittedly, it's a pretty small place, but we poked about a bit, had a minor snowball fight before heading into the inn and grabbing some dinner. The sun set pretty early this far north.

Finally, we checked in but after a while I went downstairs to take another quick look around. There were some people downstairs, mostly people staying in the in like Loz and I, and a few regulars heading home for the night. The innkeeper was cleaning mugs, while his workers cleaned the long bar.

"Business is picking up, thank goodness."

The innkeeper's voice rang a bell, but I couldn't quite place it. I studied his face, but he didn't look like anyone I knew. What was so familiar about him?

"Deena, Hal, could you clean off the tables for the night?" the man said and his two workers nodded.

It was his voice, I realised. No, his accent.

"Sorry, excuse me, are you from here by any chance?" I asked him and he blinked.

"Didn't see you there, ma'am," he said with a smile, "Sure am. Born and bred. Why did you ask?"

"I just knew someone with a similar accent and he never said where he was from. I guess he was from Icicle Inn after all," I explained, thinking about Yazoo's lilting accent. It was almost identical.

The man's eyebrows rose slightly.

"Really? What was his name?"

"Oh, I don't know. I didn't know him very well, I'm afraid." If anyone still remembered him, I doubted it would be a pretty story.

The man nodded and became distracted by one of his workers accidentally knocking a chair over. I used the distraction to slip back to the room. I was surprised how much my heart was pounding from the whole event.

"Hey, are you alright?" Loz asked, looking up from a book he'd got a hold of. I began getting changed for the night.

"I heard the innkeeper talking and realised he has the same accent Yazoo does," I said, slipping into bed. Loz's eyebrows rose.

"Really? That solves one mystery, I guess," he said, thoughtful. I didn't push the issue, instead curling up and turning my lamp off. I was exhausted, but glad we'd finally reached our destination.

* * *

Things started picking up a few weeks later. We settled on definitely building a house in the village and was filling in papers for the town council (which comprised of the entire village), when I felt the first twinges. At first I thought it was just regular aches and pains, but by the time the sun had set I began to realise that the back was getting worse and more… localised.

"Loz…" I said, swallowing thickly. He looked up from the small desk in our room, working on those papers.

"Neriah? Are you all right?" he asked, getting up. I sat on the bed, beginning to cringe.

"I think I might be going into childbirth," I said, and then my water broke. I looked down, then back at Loz

"Yeah, the baby's coming."

For the first time, Loz looked jittery. I didn't feel reassured.

"I-I'll go find help," he said. Then he paused, holding my face in his hands.

"Are you going to be all right on your own for a while?" he asked, watching me intently.

I managed a watery smile.

"I'll be fine."

He kissed me and left.

I busied myself for a bit, clearing the sheets I'd broken my water all over. I got some towels out of the adjoining bathroom. After a while, the pain worsened and I sat back on the bed.

I groaned as Loz got help from Icicle Inn and I wished he were there, if only so I could hurl the nearest items that came to hand. I found that I had developed an unnatural strength when impassioned and it chilled me to connect them to the injection I had received. I think I could be on par with Loz now.

I was just running on instinct and adrenalin – like I knew anything about having a baby. This thought didn't particularly comforting, and began to panic. I couldn't do this, now. People trying to kill me, fine. People kidnapping me, tolerable. Childbirth, impossible.

"Loz!" I shouted. Where was he?! Surely he'd found help by now? What if they didn't have a doctor, or a midwife, or whatever?

I could feel myself begin to hyperventilate, and focused on keeping myself calm. This occupied me for a while until the door banged open and Loz practically ran in, followed by a no-nonsense older woman. She was maybe in his mid forties, with a few streaks of grey in her black hair.

"This is Maebelle. She's a midwife," said Loz, trying to look as collected as possible, though I could see the uncertainty in his eyes. I held out my hand, and Loz took it, giving a reassuring squeeze.

"Hello, Neriah. Loz here told me you're in a little difficulty. First one is always a little frightening, but you'll soon get the hang of it," said Maebelle. Her bluntness calmed me down immensely.

She coached me with ease, taking no complaints. Maebelle just told me what to do, and I did it to the best of my ability, while sweating like crazy and feeling pain like no other. I think I would prefer to get shot a few times. Or at least remember some strong pain medication. Why did we go to the middle of nowhere again?

But eventually, _finally_, the pressure went away and the pain dulled and I heard a small cry. I blinked. It was over. Maebelle just nodded, cleaning my baby off, and checking it over.

"Is it a girl or boy?" asked Loz, coming over to Maebelle. She finished her checks before swaddling the baby up and handing it over to Loz, who looked stunned.

"An extremely healthy girl," Maebelle said, giving a warm smile. Loz blinked and turned to face me.

"I want to see her…" I said and Loz carefully handed her over, treating her like glass.

"Thank you, thank you so much…" I whispered, unable to take my eyes off my baby.

"No need," Maebelle said, "As long as you're okay. I'll call the doctor up to check on the two of you tomorrow. For now, rest, and have a good night." And with that, she left.

"She's so beautiful…" I murmured; the pain already a faded memory as I stared into this tiny living being's eyes. They glowed faintly in the dim lighted room, but had normal pupils, nothing like her father's, except in colour. Loz was beside me, watching our child too and he reached out to gently push a fine strand of silvery hair from her brow.

"Her name is Sepharina. And although she's as close to Sephiroth as the world has ever seen, she'll never be like him. She will be the antithesis, the light bringer, I swear it. She will be a seraphim angel for the world… no-one will corrupt her," I stated softly, feeling quite out of it, and Loz's hand was on my shoulder reassuringly, the two of us still gazing at our daughter before us.

"That sounds a little crazy, but since I just witnessed you pushing her into the world, I'll buy into it. Also, don't I get a say in the name?" said Loz with a smirk and I freed a hand to smack him.

"No, you don't. If we ever have another child, I may allow you to name them. But this one… she's mine right now." I cuddled my new baby close, feeling jealously possessive. After all the hurdles we had overcome, and pains I had personally endured, I got this moment with my child to myself.

"We have a future here," I whispered, "The three of us together. Now I'm here, after everything that's happened, I think I can finally say with confidence, 'everything's going to be all right'."

"Loz kissed my forehead and grinned.

"Me too."

I didn't know if it was the distance we'd put between us and where all our drama had happened, or Sepharina's birth, or something else – just having to grow up in lieu of said drama – but I suddenly felt safer and more content than any other time in my life. And I was going to make sure it stayed that way.


	19. Epilogue

**AN:** I finally finished it. Was it listening to Alicia Keys that finally broke that block on this epilogue? We'll never know! Whatever it was, I'm extremely thankful it happened; it was sooo frustrating being so close to finishing, but helpless to complete it. I hope what was produced is up to par. I tried to close it as best as possible. A lot of this was planned and written literally years ago and I merely filled out a little more. Anyway, another extremely grateful thanks to CuteChibiChocoCloud for spurring me on, and to everyone who ever read this – thank you all. And now I'm bowing out! Cheers!

**Epilogue**

"So, that's the story of how your father and I ended up here," I finished for my daughter and she stared at me like I had gone completely insane. I didn't put all the details in – I think she would have been sick if I described the love life between her mother and father.

Sepharina was a beautiful eighteen year old sitting before me next to the fire, her features even more lovely when she was shocked. Her blue-green eyes that glowed slightly, though not as much when she was younger, were wide and shone in the firelight. Sepharina's face was structured a lot like mine and I never knew that I was particularly beautiful, but in her I was. Her hair was silvery and she had grown it down her back, much like the feared Sephiroth, but with her soft demeanour, I minded not. She was the most kind-hearted person in the world and we had raised her well, I knew it. Sometimes when she turned suddenly, I caught a glimpse of Yazoo looking back at me because she had the same tall willowy qualities he possessed. Thankfully I saw nothing of Kadaj in her and I hope never to; that boy was so young and troubled. Completely insane too, but I never liked to dwell on the past too much when I have Sepharina and her brother to care for as well as Loz to love.

Loz had barely aged in eighteen years, looking the same as he ever did. I myself have not aged a great deal, the cells that were forcibly injected leaving me much like Lucrecia, unable to change. But I was happy, so it wasn't a torment, it was a joy. Both of us knew that Sepharina and our son would not age once she reached her twenties, but hadn't the heart to tell her. She would eventually find out. I was twenty-two when I gave birth to her and now I was forty, Loz forty-three. We have lived here in Icicle Inn all this time and have been happy, learning all kinds of new things together, like skiing and how to make a living out here. Generally hunting and selling meat and furs seems like the most profitable venture we've run, so we stuck with it. Loz is a good hunter and I turned out not to be too bad at skinning them and making useful clothes from them. Of course when we first arrived after settling in following Sepharina's birth, I was completely disgusted by the idea of killing creatures. I guess things change, although we physically don't. My throwing arm is as good as ever.

However, if I could remove the taint of Jenova, I wouldn't hesitate to do so. As much as I loved life, my daughter, son and Loz, I know in my heart that I shall not be part of the Lifestream; at least not for a long time until the taint is broken down. None of us four will. That thought saddens me if I dwell on it too long. I hope the Planet understands.

"You… you never told me any of this," she said softly, her lips still parted in awe and shock. I couldn't help but smile at Sepharina's expression. She never knew anything of our past, naturally assuming her parents had led uninteresting lives that were never questioned. I knew I had to tell her one day, once she was old enough to understand and be able to deal with it. I thought I saw something shift in Sepharina's eyes as she looked upon her parents in a new light, and I found myself unable to look at her. My strength to face my daughter with the truth wavered and I felt Loz's hand rest on my shoulder reassuringly. He had been beside me the whole time on the sofa, just watching, not really saying very much, apart from when I could no longer say what happened, when I was not there to know what had taken place. Capture, violence and insanity had tainted our lives, but somehow we had come out, not unscathed, but content.

"Dad… you beat people up?" Sepharina asked worriedly and Loz shifted uncomfortably, unwilling to answer his daughter. Our eyes met as we silently exchanged our concerns over how much to reveal our past to our daughter. Loz shifted closer to me, until I was practically in his lap. He was clearly nervous about revealing the extent of his role in the violence within the trio. All I could was wrap an arm around his waist and he looked at me appreciatively before facing Sepharina, who looked on in wary interest.

"'Rina, I… was a bit different from who I am now. But yes, I was a lot more violent. Then I stopped," he abruptly halted in his speech and refused to say anything more. I forced myself to look at Sepharina, whose eyes were so… confused and afraid. Perhaps we shouldn't have told her the truth and buried it for good.

Sepharina suddenly stood, watching us sit together with an expression of complete puzzlement. Her eyes lingered on my concerned ones before she left for her room without a word, the door clicking shut quietly and leaving us to stare at the closed door.

"That didn't go as I hoped," I murmured and buried my head in Loz's neck and he embraced me. I hoped with all my heart she could understand what happened, what we did and why. I heard a small click from another door and I lifted my head away from Loz's and we shared a longing look before I sat up to see our son, Rhode, enter. He's thirteen and already getting tall for his age. The stockiness of his father has definitely passed on, Rhode's shoulders broader than mine are. Both of our kids are faster and stronger than the rest of the Icicle Inn children, but they are both so docile it's never been revealed to any of the neighbours.

"What's wrong with 'Rina? She seemed kind of upset," Rhode asked, his head tipped slightly as he looked at us questioningly. Loz shrugged and shook his head, trying valiantly to look innocent and Rhode raised an eyebrow. Rhode could look so intensely at people at times, I swore he could see through solid steel if he wanted to.

"'Rina had a little argument with us. She'll be alright," Loz decided to tell the truth, but a very short version of the story. Rhode is far too young to be told, we both decided that, and we know that it's more than likely Sepharina won't tell Rhode about this.

Rhode looked at both of us for several long moments before sighing and sitting down between us, forcing us apart and settled himself, leaning back into the sofa. I smiled at his carefree nature. I love the fact that he's so relaxed, just like I love Sepharina's grace.

Rhode looks so like me; his eyes are exactly like mine, chocolate brown. His hair too is much like mine, brown with a slight curl near the ends. The only difference is that five silver streaks ran through his hair that have been there since birth. I wish that they weren't there; they remind me of Jenova's taint, but Loz thinks they look cool, though I think that's because Rhode's hair sweeps back like Loz's. I tenderly stroked Rhode's hair and the boy closed his eyes and shifted his shoulders so his head rested on my shoulder.

With every fibre of my being and soul, I loved my children. I would give my life for them without question. Most parents would, but still it's a special feeling to have, that fierce desire to protect them with all you have, with no mind for your own death, only their life. It feels so personal, as if you're the only person who could possibly ever feel that way. To go off my point a little, Yazoo broke free, but does not have children, though he feels as I feel about Sepharina and Rhode; I know he would give his life for them. Although he is free, he couldn't return to Icicle Inn to live; he had created his own hell in the destruction of his adopted family, there was too much pain for him to bear remaining here. Instead, he lives alone in the ruins of the City of the Ancients. Though he lives alone, he is happy. Yazoo likes to be left to his thoughts. Though he suited those leather outfits the trio sported, he now prefers looser, simple garments of white or grey. I've grown used to the exactness of his speech, in that gentle Icicle Inn accent of which I used to hate. The children consider him an uncle and Loz and I firmly instated him as godfather to them, though he was embarrassed to think we would trust him with such a responsibility. Sometimes when he's around, we go ice fishing and he tells me stories from when he was a long blond haired boy of eight. Things that make me laugh, like when he was learning to ice fish at six years old. His memory is inscrutable, but he suddenly comes up with a deluge of events he remembered and it hurts me how deeply he treasures it when he knows he can never return to that life; that that life was dead and gone a long time ago.

Neo Midgar has been completely rebuilt for many a year and thrives. People have come together peacefully and created city that no longer stands in the shadow of its predecessor, but in the light of a new beginning. It's a cleaner, healthier city run by a new president since Reeve retired nearly eleven years ago.

The world had progressed so much, while we hid away. And the children were reaching the point where they wanted to take a look at this world. Sepharina had been talking about going to Cosmo Canyon to help with a restoration project they were working on. She was an extremely organised individual and I expected great things of her. She'd always loved history, so seeing it up close would be a thrill for her. It was just a case of being able to let go. The thought of having her go that far away scared me.

"Come on, time for bed," Loz suddenly decided and Rhode got up with a groan.

"Ugh, you guys are no fun. It's not even a school day tomorrow!" he protested and Loz shrugged.

"Too bad, munchkin. Off you go."

"Fine. 'Night." And he slouched off.

Loz stood and held out a hand.

"I think we need some rest after telling our life story," Loz said with a half-smile and I let him pull me up.

"Yeah."

We went into our bedroom and I closed the door.

"They're almost grown up," sighed Loz.

"I know. I don't know what to do with myself. The world has changed quite a bit since we first travelled across the world. The curse of Jenova is almost forgotten. Sepharina and Rhode shouldn't be bothered by anyone, but still… you can't help but worry."

Loz nodded.

"Sure, but you know they're going to fly the nest eventually. Sepharina won't stop talking about Cosmo Canyon. She's going to go."

I got changed into my nightdress and slipped into bed.

"What will we do when they're gone?" I whispered. Loz got changed and slid in beside me, taking hold of me.

"Why don't we travel around the world properly this time?" he suggested.

A smile slowly appeared on my face as I thought about it.

"Really? Seeing everywhere properly? Actually setting foot in Gold Saucer?" I said and Loz nodded.

"Of course. We deserve a massive holiday. We've got the cash." He wiggled his eyebrows and I laughed.

"Okay. Is this to soften the blow of the kids going?"

Loz shrugged.

"A little. But I know they'll be fine. We raised them, after all."

I settled down, flipping the lamp off.

"You're right. We prepared them as best we can. And Rhode is still little. I can keep hold of him a while longer."

* * *

Sepharina was quiet for several days. She went and visited Yazoo, partly to get away from us, though I suspected she wanted some answers from him. When she returned, she looked much cheerier. I don't know what Yazoo said, but it apparently settled things for her, to my relief.

I was setting the table for breakfast. It was a school day for Rhode, while Sepharina was going to help Loz and myself at work. Something internally was telling me she was going to ask about leaving soon. I wonder how my own parents had felt about my disappearance. I hadn't really been in their lives for a long time before I'd ever even met Loz. I was a financial drain and I didn't want to be a burden, hence hanging with Beliqua in the slums. In the end, I did kind of make it, though not on my own. Years ago I sent a letter to my parents, but I don't know it they ever got it. There was no reply, so I can only speculate. My heart sunk. If Sepharina or Rhode ever ended up with a relationship like that with me and Loz… it would destroy me.

I put a jug of milk at the table and sat down, lost in thought.

I had messed up a lot, I knew. But what I had I still treasured. Did it all turn out for the best, in the end?

I suppose I'll never truly know if the path I ended up walking with Loz was my destiny, or a series of hurtful and strange accidents that eventually turned for the better, but… I was glad I ended up here.

My life now was more than enough. I could live with that.

And with a smile, I got up and went to wake my lazybones kids up.


End file.
